Introduction Thread

[Civet Moon]

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I just don't know how to explain how I feel to friends and family when they can't seem to see it from my perspective. Does anyone else have this problem?

I think I see it from both perspectives, sometimes.

My parents get very frustrated with me. They used to wonder why I acted so "weird," and I think they have finally accepted that, fortunately. Unfortunately, they refuse to understand that certain sounds can drive me up the wall, and that I have a hard time being around a lot of people. They just get very fed up with me about those things as well as the fact that I don't like to do the things most people like to do.

They also hate that I ask a lot of questions because I do not understand things, they tell me to stop "analyzing things to death," what they don't understand is if I stopped analyzing things, I'd have to stop thinking, and that just does not seem possible.

On the other hand, I have a friend here at school who is going through some very rough times due to anxiety and depression. He has felt horrible for most of his life, but he reached an all time low a few weeks ago, and finally decided to get treatment. During his "low" week he would barely speak, leaving me very confused as to what was going on, and wondering if he was angry with me. Since then, he has been up and down, and pretty callous toward things. He was not really there for me when I really would have needed him to be (my Grandfather died a few weeks ago), and whenever I brought up my problems to talk, he just brought up his own, too. Even though I have tried to be receptive toward him, and have been there for him as much as I could, it is hard because it seems like he just doesn't care about me. I just have to remind myself it is because of how he is feeling right now, and that he is not always like that. Hopefully, he will start to get better soon. sad

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I had problems at school and most of the other kids kind of made me as an outcast. One time when I was 13, me and my only friend (not myself mind you) had a fight and she turned the whole class against me and no one would talk to me and I was basically a loner.

A similar thing happened to me from ages 11-12. My "best friend" completely manipulated me and turned on me. She and a bunch of the other kids would make fun of me constantly, and physically threatened me (sometimes they pulled my hair and shoved me up hard against the fence confused ). After that, there was always someone who teased or threatened, all the way through Jr. High, though not related to that specific person. I was very upset during that time. Finally, when High School started, things began to look up for me. I became depressed once more, during college, it was two years ago. I did not get diagnosed, though I probably should have gone to see someone, because it got to the point where I hid all my sharp objects from myself because whenever I saw one I wanted to cut myself. Every time I crossed the street, I would have to remind myself not to step out in traffic, because I just did not care anymore, but I was too afraid to die. Since that time, I have gotten a lot better, though.  

[Zadkiel]

Civet Moon

Now that we have some new people joining this guild, I thought it would be nice to have a thread where everyone can come and introduce themselves. Perhaps you can tell us what your interest in mental illness or psychology in general is, and why you decided to join the guild.

Uhm.... I haven't been diagnosed with anything. Once i went to a psychologist (word?) who told me i have a "clinical introversion" problem and that i should take some honey medicine thing, which i never did...

I have issues regarding my self image, i don't *Really* know what my problem is. If anybody is familiar with otherkin, then i'm angelic kind. Otherwise ignore that xd

I call my issues "personality issues" because that is the best i can describe them...
I'm a crossdresser, male to female, but it isn't a sex fetish, it's something more like a self expression thing... I dunno how to explain it without feeling a pervert sweatdrop

Also, much to your possible surprise, i have depression and suicidal thoughts because of no particular reason. I haven't gonne thru particularly dificult times, mostly because i'm apathetic enough not to care about difficult times :s

I've always been a loner, and it's difficult for me to "open up" to people, until now, because i'm trying extra hard.

Err... I dunno if i have a specific diagnosable problem, i just have a bunch of things which affect me... I think i don't have functional problems, but sometimes i drop things when i get bored with them (i.e.: jobs, school, people, stuff)
When i was a baby, somebody told mother i might be autist(spelling?) but i didn't turned out to be one.. I have sometimes compulsory behaviour when doing things that i'm interested with. (programming, videogames, or reading are the ones that trigger it most) and i can sometimes "black out" or as i say, "white out" the other stuff, when i focus too much on things (this has only happened when i'm programming).

Uhm... i dunno what to say.

Oh yes!

I am Zadkiel, 20, from Mexico.

Pleased to meet you all heart  

[Civet Moon]

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If anybody is familiar with otherkin, then i'm angelic kind. Otherwise ignore that

I'm not totally familiar with otherkin, though I've heard the term before, and have a vague awareness of it. I'm a feline therianthrope, myself.

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and i can sometimes "black out" or as i say, "white out" the other stuff, when i focus too much on things

I thought everyone did that? Am I wrong?  

[rockin_my_sox]

hi everyone! alrity so i have to introduce myself? okay well my names anna, and i guess i always have been fascinated by how the brain works. well ill be taking psychology in 2 years, so i guess ill have to be patient and just try to learn and understand as much as i can about psychology and mental illness so im glad that i stumbled upon this guild! smile i never have been diagnosed with anything, but i did become depressed at around grade 5-7, because my "friends" turned against me and became manipulative, verbally abusive, and the list goes on and on. i did have thoughts of commiting suicide, but thank god i didnt act upon it. i do believe thoguh that what happened made me stronger, somehow, like i wont let any of my friends hurt me that way again. i learned alot from that, even though it did suk to have to go through being bullied by my friends sad , but i learned alot a i just said . so yea now im here in this guild, and that was my little story of myself. 3nodding  

[Civet Moon]

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Im sorry, i don't know what is a therianthrope. Dictionary didn't either... And i don't think it's anything related to assigning human traits to God

It's probably more of a subculture/slang term that won't find its way into the dictionary for a very long time, if ever.

Therianthropy is basically the belief that one is in some way an animal or part animal (other than human). It is a spiritual thing, not a physical one. I personally feel I was a cat in another life, and that is why I feel a connection to felines and act somewhat feline myself. Others say they have the "soul" of an animal, but I'm not sure if I believe that sort of thing or not.

As for believing God has human traits, I think many people would fall under that category.

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I thought that too! But nobody i've talked to has experienced it... They are like "uhm? what? Like when you faint?" or some other things which are totally unrelated... So, i think it's not common -> normal -> disorder.
I'm smart, love me

Maybe it's the way you're explaining it that they can't understand. I usually just say "zoning out" or "tunnel vision" (though there is a condition called "tunnel vision," this is not it, it is more of a mental "tunnel vision" than an actual visual one).

The way my attention works, I can only focus on one thing at a time. I can't order food and speak to someone next to me in line at the same time, and it astounds me that so many people do this without a problem. If my attention is focused somewhere, and someone comes up to me to try to hand me something, I won't notice them until I eventually turn around, or they make a loud noise or something. I've frustrated quite a few people this way redface .

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Oh, and just because something is weird doesn't mean it's a disorder.

Exactly right, M is for M+Ms.  

[Doctrix]

Zadkiel

Civet Moon

Zadkiel

i can sometimes "black out" or as i say, "white out" the other stuff, when i focus too much on things

I thought everyone did that? Am I wrong?

I thought that too! But nobody i've talked to has experienced it... They are like "uhm? what? Like when you faint?" or some other things which are totally unrelated... So, i think it's not common -> normal -> disorder.

Actually, it's very normal! It's often referred to as selective filtering. Most people have it to some extent or another. It's actually more of a disorder if you don't have it, as in the case of many schizophrenics and autistics. Psychology teachers like to point out selective filtering by saying "you won't hear the sound of the overhead projector humming until I mention it!" But it also happens with vision in the form of getting a sort of tunnel vision where the background fades to white when you stare at something. It's also the reason that some people see auras.  

[Civet Moon]

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Psychology teachers like to point out selective filtering by saying "you won't hear the sound of the overhead projector humming until I mention it!"

Our psychology teacher showed us a video with several complicated layers of people passing a ball back and forth to each other, and told us to count how many times the ball was passed back and forth. Then, after it was over, she asked how many people saw the woman with the umbrella walk across the screen, and hardly anyone had noticed her. When she played it back, we all looked for it, and there she was, plain as day!

I have very strong filtering for vision, but practically none at all for sound. I have a very difficult time having conversations or paying attention to people when there are other noises or conversations going on around me. I can not concentrate with noise at all.

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But it also happens with vision in the form of getting a sort of tunnel vision where the background fades to white when you stare at something.

I am never really aware of any sort of "background fading." I just focus my attention on one thing, and the rest is not in my awareness. Do you mean the edges of your vision actually do fade to white?

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It's also the reason that some people see auras.

I have seen this before. Can you please explain further? You've got me curious now smile .  

[Doctrix]

Civet Moon

Do you mean the edges of your vision actually do fade to white?

That is the way some people describe it. Because of my illness, I have poor sense filtering and so I don't have the same experience, but I imagine that perception varies from person to person.

Civet Moon

Can you please explain [auras] further?

At this point, I'm going to delve into a scientific explanation which may sound like I'm trying to discount auras entirely. Since auras are a religious belief, it is not my place to do so. I'm going to put a disclaimer here that this is the explanation for SOME peoples' experience of seeing auras.

When you stare at a bright-colored object for a long time, the color-sensing cones in your eyes get excited. For most people, this means that when you look away from the object at a white screen, you will see the inverse color of the object that you were previously viewing, due to those overstimulated cones. For some people, auras appear around something that they stare at for a long time due to a combination of the "fuzziness" of visual sense filtering and some overexcited cones.  

[Civet Moon]

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That is the way some people describe it.

Hm... perhaps others can also describe their experience with this.

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For most people, this means that when you look away from the object at a white screen, you will see the inverse color of the object that you were previously viewing, due to those overstimulated cones. For some people, auras appear around something that they stare at for a long time due to a combination of the "fuzziness" of visual sense filtering and some overexcited cones.

I think I've only gotten that inverse color image thing to work once, and I'm not really even sure. It was an American flag one, and what I saw only lasted for less than a second. I've never been able to do it again.

Is this also related to the 3D stereogram images (Magic Eye)? I have never been able to see those things, and for a long time I did not even believe people when they told me what was behind them.

I do see "auras" sometimes, if I let my vision go blurry. It's quite entertaining to do, sometimes. I also get visual distortions, though I am not sure if this is related at all. Sometimes walls will become shimmery looking, or have wave-like shadow patterns going across them. This tends to happen most in the grocery store, and I will also get a strange "fog" over my vision, like everything is pale and distant, and I am looking through a veil. These things do not happen to me often, thankfully.  

[Doctrix]

Civet Moon

Is this also related to the 3D stereogram images (Magic Eye)?

Not too much, at least it doesn't have to do with overexcited cones. The optics of the Magic Eye images are all about the focus of stereoscopic eyes. They present you with a "double image" and your eyes must be properly focused beyond the Magic Eye in order to merge those two images into a 3D single image.

Civet Moon

Sometimes walls will become shimmery looking, or have wave-like shadow patterns going across them.

This could be evidence of natural eye spots that everyone has. You may be able to see similar shimmery patterns if you look up at a perfectly blue sky or at a perfectly white screen.

Civet Moon

I will also get a strange "fog" over my vision, like everything is pale and distant, and I am looking through a veil.

This may be more of the Magic Eye focus stuff!

M is for M+Ms

I didn't know that schizophrenics also had trouble with [selective filtering].

Yes, it has to do with the sorting and processing of information once it gets into our brains. Our "crossed wires" sometimes make it so that unnecessary information makes it to places in the brain that it shouldn't!  

[LuminousShadow11]

Hello, hello... I'm Lumi, a 19 year old college student studying Women's Studies with a minor in Sociology. I've been diagnosed with social anxiety disorder and I'm almost positive that I have avoidant personality disorder (to be discussed with my therapist this week).

Right now I'm struggling through college trying to get by. People fascinate me though, when I'm not too busy worrying and being anxious about them, thus why I am a sociology minor.

I'm sure there's more I wanted to mention, but I can't really think of anything else at the moment. It's nice to meet you all. :3