Rawr-P #53: What A Nightmare

[UnDeadReaper95]

As Russel walked further away, Darren felt his heart begin to harden. Fine. If Russel wasn’t going to try, then neither was he. “Sorry to waste your time,” he said tightly for Russel to hear. He stood and brushed his knees off before wiping his face with his hands. Without looking back at him, he got back into the car, closed the door, and buckled his seatbelt before turning the key in the ignition. He didn’t say anything to Jordan. He didn’t say anything at all. He just sped out of the parking lot, trying to get as far away from Russel as he possibly could. He couldn’t handle this right now. He couldn’t.

He drove in complete silence the whole way back, staring straight ahead at the road. Upon pulling into the apartments, he said quietly, voice voice of emotion, “Can you just...leave me out here for a minute? I need to think. I’ll be inside in a bit.” He still didn’t look at his friend as he spoke. He stared ahead, seemingly at nothing. His eyes were glazed over in thought already, but he needed silence and isolation for just a few minutes.

------

Jordan nodded a little and climbed out of the car. He understood that this wasn't something someone just got over. He understood that despite what everyone wanted the world to be, it wasn't black and white. It was more like fifty shades of various grays that everyone interpreted to their own liking. It wasn't logical or fair in any form, but it was the truth. People, by nature, were cruel creatures. The sooner people come to that realization, the sooner that everyone stops allowing themselves to get hurt. The soulmate dreams weren't a blessing or even a remotely good thing, they were a curse. They were that small shred of hope that pushes people over the edge and drives them mad, because in reality, a soulmate was a load of bull.

Jordan slowly shut the car door and walk inside to his apartment. Jordan had told himself that he wasn't going to let everything that happened to today effect him, but there was no way around it. As he stepped into the crappy apartment he called home, he felt tears building around his eyes. Watching Darren and Russel today undoubtably just reminded him of the day that he was rejected. His mind could flash to all of the wonderful dreams it wanted, but it didn't change the facts. Once someone rejects you like that, it is hard to pretend that you aren't broken deep inside.

Jordan walked over to his couch and plopped down onto as he felt the tears rushing down his face. How long had it been since he lasted cried? He had become so harden to the pain that it was a little surreal that he was crying now. He pulled out his phone, and like a helpless lost puppy, he sent a single text message to the thorn that ailed his heart. "Went to an interview today... I might get into one of the most prestigious private schools in the country... I guess I thought you should know..." Why was everyone so hopeless

 

[InuMaki]

Lost my job today. And my mom. And my dog. And maybe my dad, but I'll find out in about two hours when he gets out of surgery. But I'm glad to hear you're moving onto greater things, was the text Jordan received back not five minutes later. The text came from a phone held by the shaky hand of a woman waiting at the hospital with a tear-stained face to find out if her father would survive the wreck or not. Last she heard, it was doubtful.
Darren sat silently in his car for a time. He honestly didn't know how long he stared ahead at nothing. This whole Russel ordeal just drove him to emptiness. This was a feeling he hadn't felt in a long time, and he was scared of it. Last time he felt like this, he ruined his life and gotten into drugs. Jordan had pulled him out of it, but it was really bad for a few years. He was a bad person, and didn't want to be in that place again. So he opened the car door and practically ran inside the apartment, slamming the door behind him. He looked at Jordan desperately.

"Jordan, I can't. I can't do this again, man. I...I feel like...like I did back then, and I can't. I can't go back there, Jordan," he told him, pacing the floor as he felt his cravings coming back. "You know I can't go back there, but that's all I can think about. Drugs and Russel. I just...I can't," he pleaded with himself, voice breaking as tears streamed down his cheeks.

 

[UnDeadReaper95]

Jordan had sat there completely silently as he waited for his friend to come back up to his apartment. He found himself just sinking back into the that depression that had consumed six months of his life before as he just stared at his dingy off-white walls. He didn't know what he was doing by texting her. He knew that she probably didn't care, and yet, he still wanted... no he still needed her approval. He needed her to like him. He needed her to want him. Darren was just starting to understand his pain, but it seemed like the longer that his soul-mate pushed him way, the more he needed her to just acknowledge him. He couldn't play pretend in his dreams without wanting to rip his hair out.

Jordan seemed to just continue to mold himself down into the couch, until he felt his phone going off in his limp hand. As his eyes scanned over the device, he slowly opened the message from the girl that he supposedly loved. He knew that she was probably just sending him some lame, "K." or "Sounds cool, I guess." answer, but there was a small flutter in his cold, practically dead heart as he went to open the message. He knew it was a long shot, but if he could get into that school, maybe she would love him. Maybe she would finally not think of him as just garbage she got stuck with.

His eyes moved back and forth quickly as he began to read the message. His heart sank lower and lower as he began to read the message over and over. He couldn't even began to process what he was supposed to do. He just continued to read it over as if he was dumb to what it actually meant... She was all alone now.. and she needed him. He sat there stunned for what seemed like forever just reading that message, before he finally got the courage to message her back. "Where are you? I'm not going to let you be alone right now." He typed up and sent. Jordan then pushed up off the couch and ran into his bedroom and threw on some regular clothes as fast as he could. He was running back to the door to get his jacket back on, when Darren came barreling into the apartment.

Startled by the sudden appearance and panic in Darren's expression, Jordan came to a complete stop with his jacket just gripped in his hands. After watching his friend fall farther apart in front of him, the brunette dropped his jacket and moved over to his friend. He grabbed both of Darren's arms so that the male couldn't turn away from him. "Darren, look, I'm sorry, but I can't freaking deal with this right now. Ella, the girl I told you that was my soul mate or what the hell ever, she just told me that her parents were in an accident and that she is alone waiting to hear if her dad is going to die like her mom already has. I have to go be with her. She needs me man, and I know you need me too, but I have to go, so if you can't be here by yourself then come on, we need to go get into the car. She may have blew me off a thousand freaking times, but I can't let her down. I have to be the man that she needs me to be right now." Jordan told him without even thinking about it. He was working almost on autopilot.

Jordan may be a crap person, and suck at just about everything he attempted to do in this life, but he wasn't going to disappoint her this time. He was going to show her that she could depend on him, and maybe that was what they needed. He needed to make her realize that she could count on Jordan even if he was some drop-out bound thug from the hood.

 

[InuMaki]

The woman's shaking hand tapped a few buttons as he phone lit up. She felt uncetaintly well up inside of her. Should she tell him where she was, and have him come and be with her when she obviously needs it? Would that give him false hope? Would that give her false hope? But, at the same time, could she sit here much longer alone and not go crazy? What if her father didn't make it through all of this? Then what would she have? So shakily, she text him back the name of the hospital then gripped her phone tightly in her hands, allowing her body to be wracked with sobs once more.

Darren felt his heart sink as Jordan told him he was leaving to go be with his "soul mate". He felt his mind and heart racing. Jordan couldn't leave him now. Though, even as Jordan told him he could come with him, Darren shook his head. He wouldn't be much of any help if this chick was distressed, and he knew this meant a lot to Jordan, so he decided to stay behind. He backed away from Jordan, shaking his head and waving his hands in front of him. "No...No, you go, and help her. I'll be...I'll be okay here. I just...need to calm down," he told him, voice cracking slightly. He turned back to the kitchen and rushed inside of it, muttering something about tea under his breath.

 

[UnDeadReaper95]

Jordan closed his eyes for a brief moment of relief from the tragedies all falling on him at once. As he reopened them, he smiled just a little bit. "Thank you so much, man, you don't know how much this means to me. I promise I'll be back soon okay? I'm going to lock the door, just go sit my room and watch t.v. and try not to think about it okay?" Jordan told his friend quickly as he reached down and grabbed his coat. For a moment, he followed Darren into the kitchen, and watched him getting out the tea kettle. "Just say in the apartment, and you'll be fine, there is nothing here that you can take or shoot up or smoke or anything like that, you know that, and if it gets too bad and you feel yourself overwhelmingly compelled to leave, just call me okay, I promise I'll come, she just needs someone and this is the first time she has ever needed me... I can't let her down, man," Jordan told Darren as he began to pull on his coat before he headed for the door. As he went out, he locked every single lock just for good measure before running down to his car. He didn't even check his phone to see what hospital it was until he was out the apartment complex he was so scattered at the moment.

 

[InuMaki]

Darren barely heard Jordan's words. As he heard the door shut and lock, however, he leaned forward onto the counter and let his body break down now that he was alone. His elbows and knees gave out as he slid down the counter, sobbing loudly as he held his face in his hands. He couldn't do this. He had been through hardened gangs, drugs, profuse drinking, self-mutilation, jail...but he couldn't take the hurt of a broken heart. He had never really felt this way before, and he didn't know what to do with himself.

Would he be able to face seeing Russell possibly every day if he got into this school? What if they ended up having a class together or something? Would he be able to handle it?

No, he would have to. This was his chance to make something of himself, and he was not going to let some stupid, stubborn kid who didn't know what he wanted ruin it for him and Jordan. He was going to make something of himself if it killed him. Granted, if he didn't make anything of himself, there really wasn't much meaning for him to live anyway. Be great or die trying, he guessed.

Taking some deep breaths, he wiped his face ten minutes later after he had calmed down mostly and dragged himself to stand up. He stared at the tea kettle before pouring himself a mug. Grabbing the mug, he followed Jordan's directions that he heard vaguely and shuffled back to his friend's room. He grabbed the remote and turned on the television, an almost-dead look in his eyes. He kicked his shoes off and set his mug down, tearing his shirts and blazer off, tossing them onto the floor carelessly. Then he climbed onto the mattress and shifted about in Jordan's few pillows until he was practically burrowed into them. He pulled his mug over to him once more and sipped it as he relaxed, eyes staring at the images moving on the screen dully. He slowly grabbed the remote and began flipping through channels lazily before he settled on a romantic movie that was playing on some oldies channel.

Not twenty minutes into the movie, and he was crying once more. This time, though, it was silently with a sniffle here and there. He took a large gulp of tea before setting it aside and curling up into himself on his friend's bed. He tried to keep his eyes open, because he didn't want to sleep. He couldn't see Russell again, or it would kill him. However, not even another half hour, and he was out like a light.

 

[UnDeadReaper95]

The dreamscape of Russel and Darren’s cupcake romance looked like an earthquake and a nuke had gotten off all at the same time. The earth was crack and buckled up beneath Darrel’s feet even. There nothing in the landscape looked like it escaped the roasting, and in the distance there were sounds of blood curdling screams. The best accurate description would probably to have just said that the Earth had gone to hell all around with the destroyed Earth and ruined buildings all around. Seconds later, Russel almost toppled into Darren as he climbed up a high breach of Earth from around a corner and rushed past the raven haired male. “Gah, We have to run, He’s coming, Run, Dammit!” Russel about screamed, as he started to struggle over more of the rocky terrain.

The gorgeous prep school student was dirty from head to toe, and his clothing was torn. There were deep, bleeding gashes in his arms and legs, but he didn’t stop… Based on his labored breathing and exhausted expression, it looked like he had been running for hours. His face was riddled with tear marks and stains from smudges, while his eyes looked this worn red. He had been crying as well… The complete 180 appearance change of Russel was only topped by the next horrifying appearance. The Earth shook with a thunderous boom as something moved towards them then out of the same direction Russel was running from a clawed hand reached out pass Darren and grabbed for Russel. The already thick air filled with a screamed of agony as the blonde was caught by the disgusting hand. Russel was now even more terrified and hyperventilating with panic as he squirmed as hard as he could as he was pulled around a structure where whatever was following them was at.

“You can never escape, you will forever be mine, hahaha,” A unknown monstrous voice cackled before Russel’s body was thrown like a doll back towards Darren. His broken body hit the building across the street and fell to the ground. It was just playing with him like a chew toy. Unable to face the strain of moving now, Russel laid there against the hard ground. Everything hurt and he was pretty sure he had multiple broken bones. He couldn’t run anymore and as he laid there waiting to die, the world dulled to a softer chaos of ruin. The monster had up and vanished into thin air after his horrifying laugh as if he was just trying to mock Russel’s entire being by letting him believe for a brief moment that he was safe again.

In the new found silence, Russel just began to sob to himself as he laid there on the ground. It didn’t seem like he even fully processed Darren’s existence in the world. Although going off his previous wounds and broken overall look, Russel might not have been even able to do so at this point.

 

[InuMaki]

Darren started as Russel appeared in front of him. He looked almost nothing like the Russel Darren knew , covered from head to toe in dirt and blood and torn up clothes. His scream tore Darren out of his shock, and his brain processed what he said. Run? Why? Wait, who was coming?

His internal question was answered quickly as the giant hand reached forward and grabbed Russel. Darren's vocal chords failed to work, but his body stumbled back to avoid the attack. He watched in horror as Russel was hurled back towards him. Darren's mind went into overdrive seeing Russel slam into a building and smack against the pavement. "Russel!" he finally forced out and sprinted over to him, kneeling down beside him worriedly. He looked up at the gruesome creature as it disappeared, a sinister grin splitting its face practically in half as it laughed. Darren felt a shudder jolt his body, and he felt like throwing up. What was this? What the hell happened here?

He gently rolled Russel over onto his back and looked down at him sadly. "Hey," he said softly, running a gentle fingertip down his cheek. "Let's go find somewhere safer, alright?" he told him and slid his arms beneath the broken body. "I'll try my best not to hurt you, alright?" he assured him and carefully lifted him into his arms.

He held him protectively in his arms as he hurried towards the outskirts of the broken city. He realized that it was his own city where he lived, and his face scrunched up. He immediately changed direction and aimed for his apartment. "It's gonna be okay. I'm gonna keep you safe," he told him softly as he rounded the block and came upon the parking lot to his apartment. He quickly carried him to the door on the bottom floor and bit his lip as he looked at the door. He didn't have a key...

He backed up and tightened his grip on Russel before kicking forward, foot flat against the door. He successfully kicked the door in, the lock tearing through the frame as it swung open and slammed against the back wall. He hurried inside and kicked the door as shut as it would get behind him. Luckily he lived on the bottom floor, so the place wasn't as wrecked as it could have been.

"I'm gonna clean you up, okay?" he whispered to him as he brought him to his bedroom. He laid him gently on the bed, ignoring the objects lying broken around the place. He idly wondered where Jordan was, but quickly pushed the thought away. This was his dream. Jordan may not even exist.

At that moment, though, Jordan came sidling in, arm thrown around some faceless woman Darren had never met. No, she wasn't faceless. She had one, but when Darren tried to focus on it, his head started to hurt, and he still couldn't make out what she looked like. Darren looked at Jordan, startled. "Jordan? Why are you-- Nevermind. Can you help me out? We need some bandages," he told him frantically, looking back at Russel and starting to peel off his shirt carefully as to not hurt him.

"Naw, man. All he needs is somethin' to make him feel good. Not some wuss to patch him up," his "friend" told him, causing Darren's head to whip around and glare at him. He stood tall and looked him over. "You're high," he stated, body shaking as the thoughts began to flow through his head again. He clenched his fists and took a deep breath. It was like his subconscious had brought this situation into his dreams. Great. Just what he needed. Sleeping was supposed to help him forget about everything, not remind him of the s**t he was currently going through. And what was with Jordan being the pusher? He was supposed to be the one helping him.

"Pffft. You hear this guy? So accusatory," Dream-Jordan snorted to his arm candy, who, Darren couldn't be sure, rolled her eyes and held out a syringe ready-to-use towards Darren. "Come on, Sweetie. It's just once," she purred at him. His body went rigid as he stared at the capped needle and snarled, slapping it out of her hand. "Get out!" he screamed. "Get the ******** away from me with that s**t!" he bellowed and shoved Jordan out of the room, throwing the chick out with him. He locked the door and hurried back to Russel's side, trying to keep the shakes away and the tears at bay..

"Don't worry," he told him, shaking as he looked into his eyes and continued to remove Russel's shirt. Once he had the cloth off, he stood and ran to the conjoined bathroom as Jordan and the chick began beating on the door and calling through it, trying to get Darren to listen to them. He tuned them out the best he could, only focusing on Russel right now. He moved back to his side and dropped to his knees beside the bed, cleaning his wounds gently. "I can't do much about any fractures. I'm sorry. I'm doing what I can," he told him, looking up at the pained expression on Russel's face. He bit his lip and shifted, leaning over the teen and kissing his lips gently. "We'll get through this, okay? I won't leave you," he told him in a whisper, wiping the blood off of his skin and the dirt out of his wounds the best he could without hurting him too badly.

 

[UnDeadReaper95]

Russel couldn't even completely sob without wanting to cry more since the pain throughout his body was bad. Why didn't the monster just kill him off? He might as well be dead in this condition. What kind of person beats a person until they are unable to move and then doesn't finish the job? As he laid against the cold, hard ground, he could feel warm liquid leaking out of his arms and legs... He had forgotten about the gashes from earlier... they were probably bleeding pretty bad. Before he had adrenaline, but now he didn't, so he could feel almost every cut, bruise, and broken bone to some varying extent. For Russel, this wasn't a dream anymore. He could feel every ounce of pain and hurt, and it convinced him that not only was it real, but that he wanted to really die to escape the torture he was under.

Russel was certain that if he laid there long enough and did nothing about the bleeding that he would eventually bleed out. He would simply have to not get up and lay there defeated, wounded, and dying. No one was coming for him, so he was sure that he could do it... It was then that the pain spiked into a sharpness at his shoulder. His crystal blue eyes weakly peered up as he was turned over and there was an unfocused Darren speaking to him. He couldn't hear what he was saying, mostly because he had already been nursing a concussion before being thrown at a wall and now he was facing full-blown coma. He was also pretty sure, he had busted one of his ear drums earlier. It had started to bleed, and he definitely couldn't hear out of it. "It's not safe with me.. it's after me.. save yourself..." Was all Russel could manage to say before he completely blacked out.

He didn't come back again until he was laying down on bed and there was loud beating on the door. It was a vaguely familiar male voice and an unknown female voice screaming about taking a hit. "Where...am I?" Russel asked unable to recognize the surroundings. He blinked slowly and then Darren was back at his side talking again. It all sounded like whispers he couldn't make out. Nevertheless though, he could still feel Darren kiss him. There was something about that kiss, and he wasn't even sure what it was, but it made all the bruises, cuts, and pain go away. With each touch, sure enough the pain subsided, and Russel looked back at Darren with a confused look. "...You took away my pain,... how?" Russel asked before starting to sit up. He was still covered in dirt and blood from where he was previously hurt, but he was whole again. After a moment, Russel pulled Darren close to him and kissed him again. "I'm so sorry for pushing you away... I didn't know how much I need you." Russel whispered to him after pulling back from the second kiss. "Darren, I...-" The blonde's words failed him, before their moment was abruptly taken away.

A sharp crash came down on the door of the bedroom, and a tall, blonde figure that resemble Russel just older, came busting through it. All the color drained from Russel's face. "...Grandfath-" He couldn't even get the words out of his mouth, before he appeared before the man. He was younger now, maybe nine or ten. "No son of mine is going to live such a disgusting lifestyle, you must be punished." his booming voice came down at the child like bricks before the child was snatched up by the arm. Russel instantly started to scream at the top of his lungs. In the place that the man grabbed, the flesh was incinerating into burnt ashes and embers. Struggling wildly, Russel couldn't stop screaming as the internal flames spread through his arm and chest.

"RUSSEL!" A voice screamed at him before the blonde startled awake in his bed completely drenched in sweat and breathing heavily. His older sister was standing next to his bed with a look of panic on her face. "Thank god, Russel, are you okay? You were screaming like a mad man and kicking around. I thought you might have gone crazy."She asked him and in his startled form he weakly looked around. His butler and personal attendant were looking on from aside as well. "..What- I don't know what happened, I'm sorry..." Russel weakly offered to his sister before she placed a hand on his head. With a deep sigh, she pulled back from him and looked at the other two in room. "He is running a fever, call Dr.-" She started to speak, but Russel grabbed her arm. "No, don't call a doctor, it's just stress. I had a bad day at school, I don't want Father to find out." Russel quickly begged of her, before his eyes glanced over at the picture of his grandfather hanging in his room.

"Russel, you have never had a nightmare like that before, and you are burning up. I'm calling a doctor." She commanded back before pulling away from him. Defeated, he curled into himself and laid back against the headboard. Father wasn't going to be pleased that he was cracking under pressure again. Unable to get his sister to stop, though he just hung his head into his chest as he wrapped his arms around his legs and sat there waiting for the doctor and his parents to come and judge him. The only thing he honestly wanted in that one moment was Darren to be there when he woke up instead of his sister. He wanted someone to actually try and comfort him rather than just diagnose him.

 

[InuMaki]

Darren looked at Russel, startled as he began to sit up. He was about to protest him moving around before their eyes locked. He fwlt his heart swell as their lips met again, Darren sliding his hands into Russel's hair as he kissed him, full of emotion.

As he pulled back and listened to his words, he thought his heart was so light he could float away. "Russel..." Then, a whirlwind of things happened. He wasn't sure who this man was that appeared, but he didn't like the way he was talking to Russel. As soon as th man moved to beat the teen, Darren screamed at him and leapt forward to fight back.

"Russel!" He screamed as he sat up in bed, sweat pouring down his body as his hands gripped the sheets. He looked around him wildly then focused on the television in front of him briefly. It was another dream. Another ******** dream. He wasn't sure he would be able to take much more of these... not with Russel being so loving towards him. It killed him.

A young woman looked up with tear-streaked cheeks as she heard her name said softly. "Jordan..," she whispered and stood up to face him properly. She almost immediately wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his chest. "Thank you..thank you so much for coming, I..." she trailed off and held onto him tighter, needing the comfort. "I'm about to lose everyone," she whispered sadly into his shirt and began sobbing once more.

 

[UnDeadReaper95]

Jordan could have picked Ella out of a crowd any day of the week. Even distraught and at her lowest point, she was still one of the most beautiful creatures on Earth to Jordan, and as he called out to her, his heartbeat grew faster. Within seconds, she quickly meet him half way and fell into his arms. The emotion from finally feeling like he had her, the girl that he had wanted for what seemed like his whole life, made him feel like he was on the verge of tearing up. Dreaming was so plastic and fake that most days he didn't even think that he was dreaming about the same person every night. This was real though, this was Ella truly needing him to hold on to. Jordan was so overwhelmed with happiness that he almost forgot the complete circumstances that he was here for.

Her sad words reached him though. He knew what it was like to have nothing, and he could honestly say that he spend most of his late childhood and early teen years ago until Darren came along. "Well, you aren't going to lose me, and I'll be here until you don't want me to be here, whatever your comfortable with." Jordan told her softly as he securely kept his arms around her shoulders. He knew that she was trying to make a life for herself and if after all this, she didn't want him there, he wasn't going to push her... but he needed her to know he was still there for her night or day.

 

[InuMaki]

Ella nodded her head and mumbled, "Thank you, thank you, thank you," over and over, grip tightening on him. Eventually, she let him go and pulled him by the hand over to the seats she had been sitting in before. She sat down beside him, and leaned into his side, taking deep, shakey breaths.

"I'm so scared," she whispered to Jordan, staring off into nothingness. "It's all my fault, too. They..." She choked on her words and let out a soft sob. "I-I was at school. A-And they were going to come and pick me up...surprise me with a b-birthday dinner after school..." She gripped onto his shirt tightly with her shaking hands. "I-I'm eighteen today, and I didn't even get to see my family...now most of it is gone..."

 

[UnDeadReaper95]

Jordan followed Ella's lead as they found their way to one of the couches in the waiting room. Everything around them was so sterile and yet frantic as doctors and nurses rushed about the place. People were also coming and going all at different speeds to see loved ones or leave once they were already done. And yet, through all of the madness, there was something calming about being with Ella. As she leaned against him, Jordan wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to him. Something terrible had brought them together, but Jordan found himself blissful uncaring. He didn't care if he had her for the next five minutes or five years, he just wanted her. Had she caused him numerous sleepless nights? Of course. Had she been this excruciating thorn in his heart before? Yes... but none of that seemed to matter. It didn't even matter that he was only able to have her now that she was practically smashed to pieces. He had her... at least for the moment.

Tell me something I need to know
Then take my breath and never let it go
If you just let me invade your space
I'll take the pleasure, take it with the pain

"This isn't your fault, Ella. They came to visit you, because they love you, and sometimes bad things just happen okay? Don't blame yourself for something that was out of your control." This words came in strong and comforting as he pulled her chin up so that she could look into his face. "Look, I'm not saying that this pain yours feeling is wrong, or that the death of someone, especially your parents, isn't a terribly hard thing to handle, but just don't blame yourself for it, because it only leads to more pain." He reassured her as he spoke from personal experience before gently releasing her chin. After hearing her soft voice say that she wouldn't even get to see her family, Jordan bit his lip for a moment. Her words stuck a chord of remembrance in his heart. "You know, I guess that is the funny thing about family, sometimes you just have to adapt and make a new family." He told the girl in a soft voice as he thought about Darren back at the apartment.

As Jordan thought he realized they had both lost any hope of having a real family, but that didn't mean that they couldn't have family... Jordan had Darren, and they were family. Maybe Ella could join their family too. "I know it doesn't seem like we know each other very well, but Ella you have a family with me... even if you don't want it or know it." Jordan told her as he looked away from her with a small tear in his eye. Jordan couldn't remember the last time that had put this much of himself out there, and he could feel his body trying to lock up on him. He didn't quite understand why he felt the need to cry, but there was this simplistic need as he reached out to her with his voice. He may not have directly asked it, but as he offered Ella a part in the little family that he had, he was asking her if she wanted to stay with him... be with him.

Baby, in that moment you'll know this is
Something bigger than us and beyond bliss
Give me a reason to believe it

 

[InuMaki]

Ella continued to sob as Jordan spoke to her. She desperately tried to stop herself, but it was to no avail. This was the worst birthday of her life.

When Jordan said she had a family with him, she pulled away and looked back up at him. As the tears slid down her face, she considered Jordan for a while, looking up at him and into his eyes. She chewed on her lip ravagely and looked down at her feet.

"Jordan, I...I appreciate you rushing over here for me. I really, really do. You're so sweet...but I...I think I'm going to have to get back to you on that. After all this is settled," she explained to him softly as her chin began to tremble once more. Why the hell wasn't her dad out of surgery yet? At least she knew that meant he was still alive.

 

[UnDeadReaper95]

Jordan had to really hold himself back from physically showing how hurt he was by her statement to him. Jordan was not one for reaching out to people, and he certainly didn't put his emotions out there for someone to see... so it really hurt to have her reject him... again. A part of him knew that he should have braced himself for it to happened, but his whole body seemed to clench up with pain. Rejecting his family, even if it was just him and Darren, was like rejecting him completely since it was really all he had in this world. Jordan knew that she was going through a lot, so he tried to not take it so personally, but it really did stab him deep.

"Yeah...okay, I mean, take all the time you need, really." Jordan told her as he put back on that mask that he had worn for so long. It was the mask that he had been wearing just hours ago to pretend that he didn't need this girl in his life. Seconds later, a doctor came out surgery to announce to her that her father was going to make it and that she could go and see him if she wanted. Within seconds, Jordan watched as the doctor rushed the girl of his dreams away from him... and he was alone again. Jordan weakly wrapped his arms around himself, as he slowly stood. She didn't need him anymore... With no reason to stay, Jordan found himself wandering back out to his car and then driving back to his apartment. At least he still had Darren.