Finding Words

[Kat1132]

Welcome to my writing journal, soon to be full of rambling angst and ridiculously overstated joy as I try and complete the massive project I've undertaken.

Let me explain:

Last Summer I visited my dad. He is a huge history buff, so we ended up rewatching Band of Brothers, and for some reason, this time it clicked and I fell in love with the characters and the story. It took a while for me to fall in love with this show because of the huge ensemble cast. It's easy to miss some familiar faces in the background. But after a while you start to recognize people, put faces to names and draw connections with what the individual story lines are doing.

It all started when I was so anxious about my exams last fall that I was unable to sleep, eat, or properly function. Somehow I looked about and found myself neck deep in Band of Brother fanfiction.

There were several stories based on the premise of a female Original Character joining the Airborne.Somehow they end up in Easy Company, and jump into the European theater of WW2 with the men. I read what was being posted, and then what were the "favorites" of the fandom on FFN and found them all so lacking. No one had written a story that paid any attention to the historical ramifications of adding a woman to a combat force, something that's not even done today!

For some reason, every single one of the writers assumed that the men would immediately welcome a woman into the fold and not only protect her, but dote on her. I've read far too many novels involving women integrating with men. This does not happen in real life. Ever. Especially in combat based organizations.

Women in the armed forces are not immediately fawned over and taken care of, and yet (for all it's propensity for angst) no one on FFN had any form of hazing as apart of their story beyond the Captain who trained them, who was a jerk to the men even before she was added. Dismissing the inevitable hazing is such a huge disservice to the women still fighting for equality! It's part of what women in the armed forces have to go through.

There are stigmas against women in combat for a reason. Personally, I find these reasons to be excuses for discrimination. But these prejudices do exist. Brushing over them with a handwavy "everyone loves her because its the 40s and women were always treated with respect in the 40s" is almost worse than the stigma existing at all. Ignoring the problem adds to it.

These writers, who were obviously trying their best, had fallen far short of what I felt the show deserved. It went beyond the premise being confused (trying to throw a woman into a combat unit doesn't work, and no one wanted to touch that issue, which frustrated me to no end), but I could go on and on about the various stories that were riddled with modern day slang and syntax. It gives me a headache just thinking about it.

So there I was, in the middle of fall term and completely starving for a good, accurate, historically based Female OC story. Every fandom deserves one good one, right? So I started writing it.

Or, well, I started writing it badly.

Before I knew it, I was 40,000 words in and reaching the midpoint of the episodes. I think the famous quote at this point would be where I called my sister and opened with: "I did a bad thing."

She still complains bitterly that I should be working on the other projects we've started together, but I'm certain this story has consumed her as well by this point.

So I wrote the first draft, and it came out to be a whopping 123k, which is actually about average for the stories already posted. But by the time I was writing the middle, I already had so many ideas about the beginning that I had to go back and add.

Turns out, in my sleep deprived state, I'd basically just regurgitated the plot of Band of Brothers onto the page with an extra body.

Not good enough after my long rant above huh? Yeah, I didn't think so either.

So I started rewriting it, and I mean overhauling it completely.

And then I realized how big the scope of this project was getting. I've managed to double, almost triple the word count. I found a beta, who jumped on board and shaped the story into a much clearer piece. She was completely amazing and wonderful and everything I could've asked for in a beta.

But alas, she jumped ship a few weeks ago and I've been scrambling to find a replacement. Certainly no easy task by any means.

I've been sending out a flurry of emails trying to find someone who can keep up before I start the third rewrite. I have some promising nibbles, but no one solid yet, which breaks my heart and drains my motivation.

But somehow I've managed to finish the eighth episode in record time. I'm working through episodes by scenes.

This Journal is where I intend on venting my frustrations when I run into difficulties - with everything. It'll be my thrills and my

Hopefully I'll update this as often as I'm writing. I hope it'll be a venting ground where I can work out my thoughts about what's going on. I have good intentions to lurk here and use this as my motivation for moving forward.

If you have anything you'd like to know about this project - or anything else I'm babbling about - I'm more than happy to share, so don't be shy.

Buckle-up. This is gonna be a long ride.

Current Project:
War Bonds  

[Kat1132]

Finished: Last Patrol - Second Draft

Word Count: 30,640
Page Count: 76

So I made the changes to flow that were required, and now I finally feel like I can put it down and move on to the next one. I'm so excited that I'm done, but really dreading what's coming next.

For those of you not familiar with the show, in episode nine, called: Why We Fight, Easy Company is occupying Germany and stumbles on a Concentration Camp. I really need to be in a certain mindset to write this episode, and it's hard to put myself there without it coming across as being trite and overstated, or too flowery. I'm going to just have to do my best and hope it passes muster with my peanut gallery.

I also need to think up some kind of twist that I can add which makes my story different while not detracting from the original subject matter. Yikes.

Wish me luck!  

[Kat1132]

Finished: Currahee Part 1 - Second Draft

Word Count: 19,441
Page Count: 28

I got Beta replies! biggrin I somehow went from zero Betas to two phenomenal ones all in one night.

The first one, AS, whom I'm really excited about, did such a beautiful job with pointing out the flaws in my writing that I'm absolutely giddy. The story is going to be so much better with her working on it.

The other beta, CG, tragically lost a lot of her edits for me in translation, but the ones that she did give me were spot on with her grammatical edits, and was absolutely amazing with providing moral support.

Part of their hard work makes me want to go back and edit the work I'm sending to them, at least in these beginning ones that are so rough. Once I've gotten into the groove of the show, the writing gets into a groove as well and it all starts flowing. Hopefully I'll relax once I get more comfortable with them, or I run out of time to care, I won't feel so insecure about sending it as is, without the preliminary edit.

Song of the Moment: 1973 - James Blunt  

[Kat1132]

Finished: Currahee Part 2 - Second Draft

Word Count: 7,175
Page Count: 15

So my lovely Beta AS got back to me within a day of receiving Currahee Part 1, and therefore Currahee Part 2 got bumped to the top of my plate rather than working on Why We Fight.

Which doesn't really help me get over the hurdle that Why We Fight represents. sweatdrop I'll have to break down and get started on it now though, because I don't feel like Day of Days has nearly the amount of work needed on it that Toccoa and Currahee did.

Song of the Moment: Best For Last - Adele  

[Kat1132]

Finished: Chapter 1 - Third Draft

Word Count: 7,248
Page Count: 19

So many things have happened since I last posted. Most importantly, I made it through the second draft! Finally!

I've also, very sadly, lost another beta. We made it through the end, and she's promised to look again at the beginning, because it is so much better this time around, and because she deserves it for all her hard work on the story and pushing it to be what it's become.

I just have the last 5k to send her, and then it's official. crying

Song of the Moment: Smooth Criminal - 2 Cellos  

[Kat1132]

Finished: Chapter 2 - Third Draft

Word Count: 5,222
Page Count: 12

So I figured out that if I somehow tackle 10k a day, I can get through my entire story in just under a month. But life is rarely so kind and things happen that prevent that, so let's see how long this push goes. Hard work abounds.

Song of the Moment: Coming Up Roses - Kiera Knightley (from the film Begin Again. There's a lot of great music in this movie.)  

[Kat1132]

Finished: Chapter 3 - Third Draft

Word Count: 9,579
Page Count: 25

I think this will be the final draft. Draft meaning that there are still several major plot constructions and seeding going on, and serious revision. My first readers, tell me that these first three chapters are very close to ready. Probably just needs a final run through before I post it anywhere, for those minor typo errors and things.

I'm so ecstatic to be so close. I just hope I can keep up the momentum, and the quality throughout this draft. I've decided that this time, I'll be going through the chapters until they're perfect, rather than bouncing ahead just to finish the draft as I have in the past. I hope that won't make it harder to motivate myself.

I just have to remember: 10k a day.

Song of the Moment: Merry Go Round - Kacey Musgraves  

[Kat1132]

Finished: Chapter 4 - Third Draft

Word Count: 12,677
Page Count: 31

I've decided that this draft - this third draft - is the one where I sit on the chapters and tweak them until my first readers are satisfied that there are no more missing scenes to be added, and there are no major errors to be found.

Basically, this means that I'm not actually done with chapter four, until I'm done with chapter five... and sometimes not even then.

So when chapter four flies out, but chapter five drags on and on because I have no idea what to do with it, despite two drafts of material to draw from, it causes a lot of frustration on my part.

Chapter four was easy, and pretty much got pumped out with the last three chapters. This was largely because, for this beginning section, I had a good idea of how I wanted it to end and what I needed to cover. The issue came with finding a balance between too much, and not enough. Hopefully I've got there.

Song of the Moment: Am I Wrong - Nico & Vinz  

[Kat1132]

Finished: Chapter 5 - Third Draft

Word Count: 8,587
Page Count: 23

So, I've actually had chapter 5, and chapter 6 done for a while now, but completely forgot to post my progress here.

It's the end of an era, my friends. I've officially sent the last 3k of my second draft to my beta. I've made the decision to hold off on finding a replacement until I get to a similar point in my third draft as when I found her. Which was a long way from where I am, like more than 100k.

So I have to be patient, which sucks. Everyone wants that validation that what they're working on is good, and friends and family are rarely as honest as they should be, and even then, I'm less likely to listen when they are.

Song of the Moment: Cool Kids - Echosmith  

[Kat1132]

Finished:

Chapter 6 - Third Draft
Word Count: 8,559
Page Count: 21

Chapter 7 - Third Draft
Word Count: 8,209
Page Count: 21

Chapter 8 - Third Draft
Word Count: 7,294
Page Count: 18

Chapter 9 - Third Draft
Word Count: 9,711
Page Count: 24

Chapter 10 - Third Draft
Word Count: 7,242
Page Count: 18

Chapter 11 - Third Draft
Word Count: 10,640
Page Count: 24

Chapter 12 - Third Draft
Word Count: 4,936
Page Count: 13

Chapter 13 - Third Draft
Word Count: 9,675
Page Count: 25

Chapter 14 - Third Draft
Word Count: 10,908
Page Count: 25

Wow... It's been a long time.

I've completely fallen down at keeping up with this, though I haven't stopped writing.

I have excuses, and reasons why, but I know they don't mean much.

My beta went on a hiatus; real life swept her off, and it's been so very hard to find someone even half as talented as she was to help me with this last draft. And my first readers haven't been able to keep up with this either.

So it's been a bit slow going, and motivation is fleeting, but I'm doing my best to work on it at least a little bit each day.

I feel like I've finished the first third of this monstrosity, and hopefully I'll can find some momentum.

Overall Word Count (so far): 120,760
Overall Draft Count (so far): 292  

[Kat1132]

Well, it's been quite a whirlwind since I last posted almost a year ago.

Let me explain:

After a lot of poking and prodding, I ended up posting Warbonds on AO3 and Fanfiction.net So go check it out!

Anyway, the stress of posting while still working on the third draft (plus school and work and real life trivialities) has left little time or energy to keep up with this or much else.

I just finished making my way through Last Patrol again, it grew by 8k. Which seems like a lot, but then you compare it to Crossroads, which grew about 31k, and you realize it's about average. The whole draft has grown about 103k from the last one which is completely staggering.

It's so strange when I look at it and realize that I'm only eight chapters away from finishing the third draft. This story has been such a big part of my life for so long that I just don't know what I'm going to do with myself when I finally have to put it down and walk away.

But that's a ways off.

Posted Word Count: 270,999
Overall Draft Word Count (so far): 336,813
Projected Final Word Count: ~ 400,000 (OMG)