Chapter 1: Layla “Darling, won’t you ease my worried mind?”- Eric Clapton
A song can make or break a person, whether you’re in a band or not. Feeling angry? Go blast some Hawthorne Heights. Feeling sad? Pop in some Paramore and dance your heart out. Music is the one thing that can take your whole day and sum it up in about three minutes. And today was a good day, I could feel it. So, here I am dancing around to Stadium Arcadium (Red Hot Chili Peppers, if you didn’t already know). I had just gotten to the awesome guitar solo on ‘Snow’ when I heard a knock at my door, only to see Jude rocking out on an invisible air guitar. I couldn’t help laughing; I love my brother so much, and he’s all the family I’ve got at the moment. I mean, Dad’s down in Africa helping out with the whole Rwanda civil war. Don’t get me wrong, admire what he’s doing, but I just miss him so much sometimes. The song ended and I flopped on my bed, staring at the sky through my glass ceiling panel. Our house is so amazing; Dad had it perfectly drawn to the smallest detail, and he was always adding stuff to it. We added two extra bedrooms, a loft and another bathroom after Rose (my mom) died. My Dad had inherited a substantial amount of money from his parents a few years after she had... left us. Jude threw a pillow at me “There’s still some breakfast down in the kitchen, if you want it.” I shook my head and kept staring until I felt Jude’s hand on my arm. He smiled and spoke softly “You’re guitar’s back, by the way. It’s in the hall closet.” I sat up suddenly. My guitar had been in the repair shop for the last two weeks. I ran down the stairs, down the hall and opened the closet. There she was; my six-string acoustic guitar. Simple, basic and absolutely beautiful, I loved that guitar more than anything outside my brother, Dad and...Him. “I knew you’d want it, especially today of all days.” I turned and looked at him, confused. He smiled “Reilly and Robin are coming over. They just got back last night, and they can’t wait to tell us all about it.” Reilly and Robin Tegan, my other favorite people in the world; Reilly has been my brother’s best friend since before they were born. Our parent’s went to college together, and stayed close ever since. Robin, Reilly’s twin sister, is also thrown in there to make them the dream team that I love. They had gone off to Paris (France, not Texas) for a semester abroad, and I had missed them like crazy. I walked into the kitchen, laying my head against are hard metal counter. I stared out into the purple sky, wondering what I would do today. Reilly’s coming home today...My heart did little back flips in my chest, my face warm with excitement. He’s coming home, and I can finally tell him how I feel. I can tell him how much I missed him, and how I spent the last eighteen weeks wondering what he was doing. Where he was, who he was with, and all the people he was meeting...Oh no. What if he met some little French chippie? I mean, I know he wouldn’t want me anyway, but still. I’ve been crushing on him since we were little, but it got really strong when I was fifteen and he told me that he would take me to prom. He was a junior at the time, and I felt so special, having someone already ask me before it was even an option. Over time, I thought he’d forget about it and ask a girl in his own class, but then March came around and he was asking me what color dress I had picked out for the dance. I was ecstatic that he remembered, and we had so much fun that night last year, going out to Santa Cruz and walking on the beach with Jude and Robin. I looked at the clock and sighed, waiting for time to speed up so we could go meet them. Their parents had decided to stay for another couple months, considering they had nothing to get back to. This was their big retirement trip, and I remember Mandy (Mrs. Tegan) telling us how she’d live there if she had the chance. So we were now responsible for getting R & R back home in two separate but equal pieces. It was the most important requirement asked of me all spring, and I was more than happy to tackle it. I walked out of the kitchen, wandering down the hall to the double doors of the “Music Room”. It was sort of like a secret hideout for Jude, me and the Tegan kids; I opened the doors to reveal the comfortable white room, our black grand piano and all of our various guitars lined up in perfect order. His black Les Paul, my white Stratocaster, my dad’s old gold Gibson were all just right; flawlessly tuned, faultlessly maintained, hours of love and affection poured into them. I looked around, seeing my mom’s old pictures all over the room; she had the same small body, same grey eyes, and same copper hair as I did. Dad used to say how when I was little, I looked more like her sister than her daughter. I remember, just before we found out she was sick, we went to the ice cream parlor and the server looked at me and said “So...Taking the little sister out for ice cream, are we?” We laughed so hard, we left the store in tears. I picked up my acoustic guitar, pulled the strap over my head, and unclasped my necklace to string my pick off the chain. That’s a thing we do; we never leave are guitar picks lying around, we wear them. Mine’s on a necklace, Jude wears his on a wristband, Reilly has his on a keychain and Robin has her in her ear. It’s just one of those things.
I took a deep breath, and I closed my eyes. I strummed the chords and kept rhythm with nothing on my mind, just the colors and shapes zooming across the darkness: And I don’t understand what happened between you and me but, You will probably end up with someone twice as good as me, so I don’t care if you do look in my eyes and say hello. You were blind to me, now I’m blind to you, oh.
It was now or never. While I played, I imagine the encounters of the airport and what we would say to each other; exchanging pleasantries while unloading bags off the carousel, sitting in the car for two hours listening to CDs they picked up in France. Stealing glances at Reilly when he’s staring out the window, counting how many shades of brown and blue I can find in his eyes. Waiting for Jude and Robin to get out of the car so I can tell Reilly that I love him; I love him. I really do.