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"I would appreciate that, broken bones might be hard to explain to my students." And would get in the way of her regular jogging and work outs, and she really did NOT want that.

"Um." She scratched at her head, trying to figure out how to phrase this. "I do, when... accompanied by pain from the yeller?" She hoped that was enough. "And probably not, so long as they weren't the ones currently hitting me."

She thought, anyways. She'd never exactly tested that.

Her eyes closed, and her face went still, as if she was keeping something in. "I... might not be so bad with... some of them." She did not want to say anything about the fact that women didn't scare her so much... It might give the wrong idea as to what was going on. And she did not want him to get too much of an idea on it, right or wrong, because she hated having her past out in the open. "But yes, that... is a good plan. I don't want to panic during battle because of that. This is a fair point, and good to know."

A pause, then "Well, actually, horrible to know, but also important."

Her eyes opened again, once she was sure she could look at him without her expression betraying too much. "I might have to try that, too, but finding people to patrol with is probably good, too."

She picked her cup back up, and took a few steadying sips. "Mmm a court... So a group of knights is a court? Interesting. That might not be a bad idea, if I can find other knights who want to form one with me." She looked at him for a moment, and added "I am not asking you, because I... get the feeling you prefer to be a loner?"

She wasn't sure if she was reading him right. Sometimes, she was good at reading people. Sometimes, she was a total idiot.

"There are a lot of things to consider. But I'm grateful for all the things you're giving me to take into account, honestly. I'd rather know then not, and be horribly surprised again."

"Ah, I see." She blinked a little, and then her brows came together. "What on earth kind of war do these other knights think they're fighting? I don't want to have to kill... But if I have to, to save myself and others? I will. That's... kind of the definition of war, isn't it?" She did not understand this idea, and sighed.

She honestly did not understand a lot, if she took that thought far enough, and she backed off in her head, to avoid upsetting herself again.

"Then I will accept your assistance where you can give it, and your company when... you wish it, as well." Her eyes dropped, but an odd, twisted smile of understanding crossed her face. "I understand being a loner whether you like it or not, a little too well."

She sighed, closing her eyes again. "I suspect very few people plan for war, when they're trying to plan for their lives. Most people don't see that life is a war, in in of it's self, often." She made a face, for a moment, then opened her eyes again. "But I can see why that's a problem. We suddenly find ourselves with another... Job, name, title, so to speak, whether we want it or not. We did not get raised with the knowledge that this is even something that could happen, and then we're thrust into a war we did not start, at least in our current lives."

She sighed softly. "And then they're picking it up piecemeal. Right. Another good reason for a new Academy. I definitely need to see if this is something I can do."

She tilted her head, trying to decide how to answer that. "Well. Not anymore, exactly? But I spent the majority of the first eighteen years of my life being forced to be alone. It has made it... a challenge, learning how to not be alone, honestly, even when I don't want to be." Her tone was emotionless, a little dead, and distant, her eyes focusing on her cup.

"Not... what I meant. More that I have trouble figuring out how to reach out to others for friendship and company, if it's not work or college related, or now, related to my duties as a Page." She sighed, and her eyes dropped again, feeling like a fool. "I'll still try. If I can help, I'll help."

She considered the rest of his statements, expression sober as she sipped her drink. "I think, then, before I start sending out messages in general, I should figure out the solution to how to let others visit it, and perhaps a security system of some nature, to try to make it so only those who are knights can go. Do what I can to protect my Code piece, if it's possible."

She gave a sharp sound of frustration. "Comfortable? No. But I've been forced to, if not trust strangers, act as though I do, over and over, because if I didn't, I'd never have gotten ANYWHERE, whether in my..." she wrinkled her nose for a moment, trying to find a decent way to make distinction between the two halves of herself. "My 'human' life or my 'knight' life, and yes that sounded ridiculous, I know."

"Civilian life... That works better, yes." She sighed again, and shrugged a little. "Maybe it's normal, I don't know. I've never really understood what normal means, to be honest. I have no experience of it myself."

"Mmm. You mentioned a Cauldron where starseeds go to be reborn. What is that about? How does a big black pot do that?" She was still confused on that point. "Also... you... said that the war is a lie. Why is it a lie?"

That needed more clarification, for sure.

"Ah, alright. I see. Wonder what it looks like." She sounded curious, then she shrugged a little. "Well, nothing I can do about that, I suppose. Just things to remember, really."

She nodded, at his comment, and waited for him to remember. And then flushed. "Yes, I'm sorry. I had to get home, though! I had work in the morning." She was embarrassed but her words were true. "Have to be able to sleep or I'm useless as a tutor. Being useless means not getting paid." Her cheeks went pale, and eyes distant. "I won't risk being unable to pay my rent, won't ever be homeless again if I can help it. But I am sorry I had to wake you."

And then she focused on his answers, nodding slowly as she understood what he meant. "So basically we're all being given falsehoods and lies and operating under a false understanding of what is going on. But... Why are they Chaos, then? If all they're fighting for is to protect themselves from being controlled, why is that Chaos?"