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[NQ] Jolene [Back U/C]

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manga_artist303

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 1:23 pm


This is my quest for the Noble character, Jolene. ^-^
Feel free to look around and critique if you have time. I'd love the imput!


Navigation:

1 - Introduction (You are Here)
2 - General Info
3 - Allegiance, Path, Magic Style, & Weaponry
4 - Appearance
5 - Personality & Hobbies
6 - History
7 - Family
8 - Q&A
9 - Extra Post
PostPosted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 2:42 pm


General Info


Username: manga_artist303
Payment: Gaia Gold.
Do you agree? Yes, yes I do.

Name: Kuromiya Jolene (last name, first name)
Gender: Female
Origin: Japanese / Hebrew
Meaning: Kuromiya - "black palace"; Jolene - "God will add, God will increase"
Significance: Jolene's name compliments her mother, Gilal's, which means "eternal joy". It was Gilal's wish that her daughter that she would increase the eternal joy of their family. Kuromiya is the family name.

Age: 19

Notes: None at the moment.

manga_artist303

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manga_artist303

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 2:44 pm


Allegiance, Path, Magic Style, and Weaponry


Alliance: Noble

oooooReasoning: From the examples she's seen from her siblings and her own personal views, Jolene feels her talents will be more useful and respected among the Nobles. She hopes that her status as a blacksmith will be more widely accepted among the "rebels", as she is positive that a woman attempting to have such a job in the Legion would be widely frowned upon. She is also very close to her brother Hiroki, the only confirmed Noble in the family, and aspires to be more like him.

Path: Warrior

Magic Style: Weapon Projection Magic

Weapons:
[Academy Student] - Most likely her blacksmith's hammer or some sort of blunt cooking object.
[Fighter] - A simple, long handled halberd of some sort.
[Captain] - War hammer, battle axe, or other powerful and deadly epic halberd. Possibly more capable with her magic to change it at will.
*These aren't set in stone and the artists are free to make alterations. Jolene will be most suited for weapons that one swings rather than stab, throw or shoot. Polearms, halberds, hammers, etc.
PostPosted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 3:03 pm


Appearance


Hair Color: Something unique.

Hair Style: Not really picky. If it's long, it would most likely be tied back in a simple ponytail or a braid. If it's short... I don't have any preferences. Artists can go nuts here.

Eye Color: Exotic. A color that makes her eyes stand out is prefered.

Fin/Scale Colors: Colors that compliment her eyes.

Skin Tone: On the lighter side; maybe a light tan or an olive color.

Body Type: She's muscular, broad-shouldered, most likely a larger body type.

Clothing: Up to the artists; something that goes with either side of her heritage would be fine. She'd be more likely to wear something with earthy tones.

Accessories: Possibly a pair of hoop earrings or something. Maybe a bandana. Artists have free reign here.

Distinctive Characters: Urm... idk. Maybe some burn mark/scars on her hands. Once again, artist can go nuts here.

manga_artist303

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 3:53 pm


Personality & Hobbies


Personality:

❀'Til Death Do Us Part (Roronoa Zoro Complex)
oooooooJolene is a very loyal individual, especially to her family and friends. She is willing to defend them with her life, no matter how stupid the actions of the defended may be. She is a determined young woman that is a reliable companion when push comes to shove.

❀Free Spirit
oooooooDue to the freedom of growing up in the quiet, country village without the strict standards of nobility, Jolene has a very free-spirited attitude and enjoys uniqueness. She is willing to try virtually anything (especially when it comes to food), even if others frown upon it. She sometimes has difficulties with the uniform ideals of those who are native to larger cities and towns. Her openness towards new ideas allows her to make friends with virtually anyone, whether they share similar views or not.

❀Held Tongue
oooooooPatience is a virtue that Jolene does her best to keep. She usually does not have problems with enduring sharp remarks or walking away from fights she does not deem necessary. However, there are certain cases, such as someone injuring a family member, that Jolene loses her cool. At such times she uses a surprisingly silver tongue and/or her physical strength to quickly subdue the disturbance. Even while angry, however, she makes sure not to use profanity infront of her younger siblings.

❀Generosity Did NOT Kill The Cat, Now Did It?
oooooooJolene likes helping people. Having grown up in the light of her caring mother and grandmother, she's learned to treat everyone with a kind and caring heart as much as possible. Whether its cooking dinner for her mother or carrying groceries for little old ladies on the street, she's always willing to lend a helping hand. Although it's wartime, she will forge weapons for anyone with the dignity to ask her.

❀Grounded
oooooooAlthough Jolene has a free-spirited attitude, she does not go off on wild fantasies. She inherited her father's grand intellect and is a very sensible person. Unlike what many city dwellers believe when they hear she's from the countryside, Jolene is educated and informed about what's going on around Lunaria. Being levelheaded allows her to deal with most situations without hesitation or panic and makes her a great person to have on one's team when under surprising or tense conditions.


Hobbies:

❀ Cooking
oooooooLiving up to her mother's legacy, Jolene is a spectacular cook. Not only does she love it, it is also one of the only tasks she performs that she and her sisters can do together without argument or spite. It isn't uncommon for her to chat with cooks at restaraunts or taverns to exchange recipes. She works in a bakery run by Hiroki's fiancee, Fenfang, when she's not working at the blacksmith's.

❀ Blacksmithing
oooooooAlthough her mother isn't quite sure about this hobby and job, Jolene spends much of her time working over a forge. It helps her maintain upper body strength and allows her to create anything from nails to weapons. It is often looked down upon by others, but she refuses to let this stop her from enjoying it. She has a job working at a blacksmith's shop in the Imperial City that her brothers Hiroki and Shoji helped her get.

❀ Sparring
oooooooAlthough her attitude is usually rather passive, Jolene loves to fight. Only if it's for competition, however; real fighting is serious business, after all. She enjoys sparring almost as much as her brothers like betting on her fights, and it helps keep her in shape.

❀ Learning New Things
oooooooWhether facts or activities, Jolene loves discovering virtually anything new. Stardust Ramen? Sounds interesting; she'll have a bowl. Know something fun to do? Tell her and she'll likely want to join in the fun.


Quirks:

❀That's Good Food! (Sanji Complex)
oooooooJolene's biggest pet peeve is seeing people waste good food or insult someone's cooking. Being a cook herself, she understands the pride put into each dish and is offended at rude remarks to the profession.

❀Wander Lust
oooooooInherited from her mother, Jolene suffers from a minute case of spontaneous wander lust. Although not nearly as dominant in her life, it does make her a little difficult to locate. She enjoys exploring new places and will simply ask directions to get back to familiar areas.

❀No Alcohol, Please
oooooooDue to the bad example of an older brother, Jolene refuses to drink alcohol. In her opinion, the only thing brandy is good for is flavoring food (the alcohol itself, of course, usually gets boiled off). She doesn't care if her friends drink, but she would not be happy if she discovered them drunk (and stupid).

❀Wait, WHAT?!
oooooooJolene is not a romantically inclined person. She's grown up around mostly warriors, with the exception of her traditional-minded older sister. Because of this, it's extremely likely that she'll be completely at a loss of what to do when faced with romantical situations.
PostPosted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 4:10 pm


History

Our story begins with the meeting of Kuramiya Hisoka, and his future wife, Gilal.

The Kuramiya family was known for its loyalty to the emperor. Although not the most prominent family among the Legion, they were proud, noble and fierce warriors. Hisoka was no different in these aspects. He rose quickly but quietly through the ranks of the Imperial Army, and was noted for his stoic attitude and brilliance as both a fighter and a tactician. He was often sent into the field, either subtly gathering information or working with fellow Legionnaires to fight the small but growing threats of a faction known as the Nobles.

It was on one of these expeditions that he met Gilal. Part of a traveling caravan, Gilal Bachman happily cooked meals for the merchants she worked with. When the Legion squad Hisoka was in came across them, it was Gilal who forged friendships and made a meal for soldiers and merchants alike. Together the squad and caravan traveled back to the Imperial City, where they planned to go their seperate ways. However, Gilal had grown close to the silent Hisoka and when the merchants' caravan left, she stayed behind.

It wasn't long before they settled and were married, and soon they were blessed with a beautiful daughter. Brought up in the Kuramiya household, little Rivka picked up on many of the high-class views and priorities that Hisoka's parents and other relatives had. She was soon joined by three boys, all of whom showed great resemblance to Hisoka and his family. Then came Asa, the quiet, sweet boy that won the hearts of almost everyone he met. He was followed by the rowdy Tadashi, and then the couple were blessed with a second daughter, Jolene.

Jolene, unlike most of her older siblings, did not spend much time with her father and her father's relatives. Her father was promoted to Captain not long after she was born, and he was constantly away on work. The Nobles grew stronger by the year, and Hisoka was sent out more and more often to fight off rebellions. Gilal was left as the sole parent in the household for much of this time.

Although Jolene didn't remember much of it, Gilal had several large arguments with Hisoka's parents. Jolene's grandparents wished for her and their other grandchildren to be given to the care of other nobles, ones who had both parents readily available. However, Gilal stood her ground and refused time and time again. Hisoka soon discovered that his homecomings were a point of dissatisfaction for his parents, as Gilal was relieved of any pressure of putting her children in the care of others.

By the time Jolene was four and had two younger siblings, war was breaking out all over the Imperial City and Gilal was being run ragged trying to keep her nine children safe--and in her care. Finally, Hisoka came home from a rather lengthy excursion and created a solution to his poor wife's dilemma. Without telling anyone, Hisoka sent Gilal and the children to the home of Gilal's mother, Deborah, out in the country where they would not be bothered by the war or his parents' overbearance.

And so Jolene grew up in a small village far from the Imperial City, raised among the children of local farmers, seamstresses, potters, with the occasional interaction with passing merchants. The village's elderly adored the bright, spunky little girl that delivered food to them from her mother--and protected the goods with vigor from rowdy boys wanting a free treat. Deborah, assisting her daughter in the care of the nine children, guided each one towards their potential with a gentle hand.

Jolene soon adopted her mother's great love and talent for cooking, and it wasn't long before the goods delivered to the elderly villagers were often her own. However, Gilal soon found that her second daughter was not following the same, ladylike path that her eldest had chosen. By the time she was six, the girl was fascinated by her older brothers' warrior training. Her two eldest brothers, Hiroki and Shoji, patiently allowed their little sister to watch and later practice fighting around them.

While her brothers were away at the Academy to train, another unladylike trait appeared: her love of blacksmithing. Both the tolerance of heat and physical strength needed for the task were met in the young, eight-year-old. It took quite a bit of convincing, but eventually the local blacksmith gave in and let her apprentice under him. Jolene proved to have a talent for it and was able to improve greatly over the next several years. Although Gilal was hesitant to allow it, she did not interfere with her daughter's work at Deborah's request.

It wasn't long after her introduction to fighting that Jolene found that there was more to war than battles. After graduating from the Academy back in the Imperial City, Hiroki surprised some of his Legion-based family by pledging allegiance to the Noble cause. Shoji, meanwhile, slipped into the traditional Legionnaire uniform. Although the two brothers and Jolene dealt with the decisions well, the rest of the family was thrown into chaos. The third eldest, Qayin, soon joined Shoji among the ranks of the Legion, and Tadashi followed after him. The family was nearly torn apart by the division of views and loyalties, and only the love of Gilal, Deborah and the pacifist brother, Asa, were able to hold them together.

Jolene was soon forced with a similar choice regarding loyalty. Although most of her family were devout servants to the emperor, she found her sights drawn to the more free-minded Noble group. As she had discovered on many trips with her elder sister to the Imperial City, those who lived in the light of the emperor and his traditional way of life did not approve of a female blacksmith. So when she enrolled in the Academy herself, she became the second family member to pledge loyalty to the Nobles. Her younger brother, Joshua, soon joined her, and the pair began a new life in the city.

Being so far from home and out of the good graces of her father's family, Jolene began having trouble keeping herself afloat. Hiroki, after discovering his sister's predicament, conferred with his new fiancee, Hua Fenfang. The daughter of a prosperous baker, she had been working in the shop until Hiroki's proposal. With her absence, there was room for another worker. Jolene was offered a job there, and eagerly took it. With the help of both Shoji and Hiroki, who often praised their sister's workmanship in the way of their swords, also convinced a blacksmith in the city to allow Jolene to work for him. Although he was even more reluctant than the blacksmith at home in the village, the man could not turn a blind eye to talent. Jolene was now busy with two jobs and her Academy studies, but she was used to the work. She and Joshua currently live with Hiroki on the edges of the Imperial City.

manga_artist303

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manga_artist303

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 4:11 pm


Family

Big family is big.


[Deborah Bachman] - "bee" and "son of life" | 72 years old
Jolene's elderly, widowed grandmother whose house the family lives in. She is a hard-working old woman who knows how to calm even the fiercest of tempers. Her tranquil, go-with-the-flow attitude prompts her to encourage each of her grandchildren in whatever hobby or career they seek to pursue. Jolene absolutely adores her and treats her with the utmost respect.

[Kuromiya Hisoka] - "silent; reserved" | 52 years old
The son of a noble and Captain in the Legion, Hisoka is known for his loyalty, intel-collecting skills, and stoic attitude. His family, however, saw a kinder, more loving side of this cold warrior. Because of the danger his job brought, he convinced Gilal to take their children somewhere safer until they were either old enough to defend themselves or the fighting had ended. Jolene has not seen him since she was very small and doesn't remember much about him. From what she does know of her father, she believes he is a great man--and hopes he accepts her choice for joining the Nobles.

[Gilal Bachman] - "eternal joy" | 48 years old
Jolene's mother and head of the household in her husband's absence. She raises her children with a kind but firm hand and does her best to keep the family together despite the faction divisions between her children. The one thing she is strict about is respect and has hammered it into as many of her children as she could. Gilal is an extraordinary cook and has taught her daughters (and some of her sons) how to do so.

[Kuromiya Rivka] - "captivating; one who snares or traps" | 31 years old
The eldest daughter. Rivka is has a slightly elitist attitude. She is concerned with the same traditional values that Hisoka's noble-blooded family is. She fantisizes about being married to a wealthy merchant or noble and would be content being a housewife. Her views are more aligned with the Legion. Jolene does not get along very well with her, as Rivka sees her interest in blacksmithing and fighting as "barbaraic" and looks down on her for it. She often spends time with her father's family in the Imperial City.

[Kuromiya Hiroki] - "abundant joy/strength" | 29 years old
The eldest son. Hiroki is one of the most responsible children. He shares his father's quiet kindness and a calm demeanor, as well as a sense of loyalty to his family. He is currently a warrior fighting for the Nobles, and, unlike his father, visits his family as much as possible. He is currently engaged. Hiroki was one of the brothers who introduced Jolene to fighting and they get along very well.

[Kuromiya Shoji] - "correct/shining second son" | 27 years old
The second son. Shoji acts similarly to Hiroki, but set his loyalties with the Legion. He is a great warrior and is admired by most of his younger siblings. He is one of the brothers who introduced Jolene to fighting and she holds great respect for him.

[Kuromiya Qayin] - "lance; spear" | 25 years old
The third son. Qayin is colder than his older brothers and has a very sharp tongue. A fierce and often ruthless Legion warrior, he desensitized himself early on in his training to the pain of others and lacks that Shoji has. He has the mentality that his siblings that joined the Nobles have betrayed their father. Jolene doesn't see him much because Qayin avoids the house and its "rebellious" members.

[Kuromiya Asa] - "healer" | 23 years old
The fourth son. Unlike his siblings, Asa has no interest whatsoever in fighting. He is the family's main peacemaker to his gentle nature. He is currently training as a living soul conduit. Jolene is pretty close to him and is the one she goes to for advice.

[Kuromiya Tadashi] - "correct; loyal; righteous" | 20 years old
The fifth son. Taking after Qayin, Tadashi is very against any of their family being in the Noble faction. Unfortunately for Gilal, he didn't take after his name. Openly arrogant and violent, he is often the cause of contention in the Kuromiya household. Tadashi is also a serious alcoholic and has little respect for anyone except Qayin. Although he refuses to admit it, he is actually weaker than Jolene (and most of his other siblings). He is an adamant Legion follower. Jolene has a standing grudge against him for a certain incident concerning their younger siblings.

[Kuromiya Yehoshua/Joshua] - "God is salvation" | 17 years old
The sixth son. Yehoshua is most similar to Jolene when it comes to views on the world and war. Extremely quiet and shy, people often assume he is mute. He followed Jolene into the academy and the pair of them are very close. Jolene is almost as protective of him as she is of Megumi due to an incident with Tadashi.

[Kuromiya Megumi] - "blessing" | 15 years old
The third daughter. Sweet, innocent, shy, and a bit naive, Megumi is adored by the rest of the family. She usually follows Asa or one of her sisters around. Jolene is extremely protective of her, especially after a certain incident with Tadashi.

[Hua Fenfang] - "flower; pattern" and "fragrant" | 26 years old
Hiroki's fiance. She lives a simple life as a baker in the Imperial City and offered Jolene a job there when she entered the Academy. Jolene is extremely grateful to Fenfang for her generosity and already thinks of her like an older sister.
PostPosted: Fri Sep 24, 2010 7:15 pm


Q&A


Q: What is this "certain incident with Tadashi" that keeps being mentioned?
A: Tadashi, being the rash child he is, got himself horribly drunk, came to the house, got violent, and started to abuse Yehoshua and Megumi. Jolene caught him and, because she's stronger than he is, beat the snot out of him for it.

manga_artist303

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manga_artist303

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 24, 2010 7:16 pm


Extra Post That I May or May Not Put Something In
PostPosted: Fri Sep 24, 2010 7:20 pm


Comment Box

Ok, I'm open for reviews! ^-^

I swear, I'm gonna make it prettier.

Feel free to shred my history to bits with your criticism.

manga_artist303

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Honeybii
Crew

PostPosted: Sat Sep 25, 2010 6:41 pm




Name and Alliance:

I’m not sure how well the name is working for this character, while Jolene is a really pretty name, I feel like the Hebrew heritage is clashing with the Japanese one. I think it might be because the Hebrew and Japanese have vastly different naming systems. Picking just one heritage will add an overall cohesiveness to the character and make it less confusing to the reader. And if you go with the Hebrew background, it’d be really cool to see you incorporate their traditions into your character.

As for Jolene’s alliance, it doesn’t make sense that she just decided to be Noble when her entire family is Legion. Since the two factions are at war, she essentially declared war on her family as well. And it seems like she’s really close to everyone in her family so I have a hard time believing that she would sever ties with them, especially since she was raised in the Legion style.

Personality:

Jolene is very one sided. From what I can see she has no bad traits to counter all her good ones. She’s a little too perfect. Maybe instead of patient she’s impatient and loud? That‘s just an example but something bad like that. Jolene needs to have a trait that negatively effects her and others around her in social situations.

As for her hobbies, I’m not sure how they coincide with her personality. She seems to be a good little girl and yet she’s out sparring and being a blacksmith. Incorporating these warrior like needs into her personality will help make things more convincing. As for her hobbies they’re a bit overdone. That’s not bad or anything, but I’d love to see something more unique in Jolene’s repertoire. <3

Her quirks are fine if a little overdone as well. I like the non-romantic side to her though. It’s amusing to know she’s so dense in that area.

Side note: Man I feel like there’s already a female blacksmith wandering around in Lunnaria. I so can’t remember though. I’ll have to look into it just so some isn’t clashing against you.

OH! And I like Jolene’s weapon! Once again I don’t remember if this has been done yet, but good job! x3
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