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I dunno what is up lately, but my tongue has gotten sharper lately and the acid dripping from my words has become even more caustic. I have been having more fun with friends, but my patience has worn short. I find myself speaking harsh truth at a whim, not even bothering to concider the impact, knowing only that it is truth. I have detached myself from certain friends until they can clean up their acts and focused on my schooling and now my work at the Apollo. I think my attitude lately has been triggered by certain visions, both past and present that bear down on me like a glacial slide. Things are so much like the old days, yet so very different. I don't know what parts to keep and which parts to purge. My friend Wes is getting married this friday, he actually wants me to be able to see the ceremony. It's gonna take just about all I have to not cry. Several reasons for that, and anyone who knows me can figure them out easily enough. I feel a little bad because I think Trev thinks me mad at him or something to that effect. He brought up a very tender subject and I reacted by bearing my teeth and snarling. It's not your fault brother, it's not hers either, I take sole responsibility for all things that have happened through the course of our histories. God's plan may be grand and ripe with rewards should we stick to them, but human free will can still alter the destiny of a few souls. I was reminded lately that I am something greater, a soul with purpose, and that only means I must focus more closely on my own goals before I can begin my soul's work. I better slow down befre I overload. It feels strange yet good to have a bar in my tongue and ear again, like something was missing. Maybe I will put on my old rings again, at least till someone provides me with something more recent and heartfelt. But I do not expect emotion from anyone anymore, that would be asking too much from the people that once called me brother, or onii-san, or sweety... or any such pathetic lie they could mutter... why should I expect people to be true and honest? I don't... now I expect things only from myself, and I expect absolutely nothing from anyone else. Hmm, seems I'm not in a good mood this morning, oh well, it's about time I write this last paper, do another final, and be ready to finish school for this semester with flying colors.