Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

I'm sorry but I feel the need to briefly break the rhythm of all these depressing entries. I final figured out what I want to major in when I go to college, in a year, year-in-a-half. I want to major in psychology, I know that my seem strange to those of you who knows me very well, but at the same time you know it makes sense, and yes there is a reason why I'm waiting so long to go. First, I don't like school, second it give me time to save up money, but mostly the first reason.

Other than the whole college thing, it's been more or less the same old same old, which isn't good. I finished the book I was reading yesterday, it's called Where I Want to Be. It's a good read, at least it was for me; anyway I got to the last page and I started breaking down, tears started welling up behind my eyes and it was hard to breathe, it felt like I was drowning, but I was in the middle of my bed. I doubt it was the book that made feel this way either.

I want to say the line between the real and not real a beginning to blur, but can't see what there is to blur. It's not that I'm trying to escape into a fantasy, or create a alternate reality where I'm ok and nothing ever happened. The truth is I feel as if I have nowhere to run and hide like that. How am I going be a psychologist if I can even fix myself, but how can I fix what I don't what's broken or even how deep the breaks goes.