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1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster
than an ambulance.

2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in
front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers,
large fries, and a DIET coke.

4. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and
then chain the pens to the counters.

5. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten
and buns in packages of eight.

6. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to
describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

7. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines
with Braille lettering.


Ever Wonder??
-Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
-Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
-Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
-Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and
dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
-Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
-When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
-Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
-You know that indestructible black box that is used on
airplanes, Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
-Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck
together?
-If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

~~~~

~On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion.)

~On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time?)

~On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or
operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

~On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what?)

~On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
(news flash!)

~On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your
hands or genitals."
(o.O.....was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)