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Hi. First journal entry, and I figured, given the title of this journal, that first I should introduce myself, then we talk insanity.
My name's Jeremy. Nice to meet you, have a seat, snacks will be served shortly. Oh, you filled up on bread at home. S'okay, Im a lousy cook.

Anyway, let's get right into it. I read, recently, I dunno if it made national news or not, about a man who saved his son from a bear and got fined for it.
The story, as far as I can tell, involves camping, as I cannot imagine a man fighting off a bear on the 84th floor of a business building. The 82nd maybe, but by the 84th, someone would have noticed that there was, indeed, a bear in the building, possibly from the increase of fur dander in the air, or the smell of bear crap somewhere in the vicinity. Anyway, this man's son, who either has no fear whatsoever or is just the dumbest creature ever to make the effort to walk on two legs, finds himself a bear cub, and foolishly begins to taunt it. The cub, not appreciating the fact that he is being picked on by a creature he will eventually consider putting in a sandwich with a side of raw fish, calls for his mother, who happens to be doing whatever large mother bears are doing at that time of day, possibly even having her nails done while gossiping about the badger family down the way, and she comes running.
By now of course, the father, probably a decent type fellow who does know that if he doesn't keep an eye on his kid, the little twit will get himself waylaid by every forest animal known to man, and the squirrells have been uppity this season, goes off to find him, which is pretty easy, as he's right next to the biggest thing in the woods that does not have leaves on it. This is not a good position to be in, as he can't just go home and tell his wife that he caught four trout, it rained two days, and junior was eaten by Gentle Ben. The father picks up a log to defend his son, and somehow, as if the nature gods just didn't like this particular bear, manages to kill it. This is bad for the bear, as death in just such a way forfiets any chance to get into the good side of the afterlife, and ursine hell, with all the other ones who died stupidly, is completely, ahem, unbearable.
Ranger Ned shows up (good timing!) and looks over this man, who's probably shaking all over as a result of his excursion, I mean, although he won, I'm sure that was not the result he had ever anticipated, and decides, to ease the father's worried mind, to fine him for not properly securing his food.

This, I found simultaneously unbelievable and disturbingly hilarious. This has to be, considering the most likely scenario possible for the fights end, the one fine this man paid with a smile. I mean, considering the day could have ended with the park ranger telling the man, "Is this your son's shoe? We found his foot inside it.", I'd say that was the best ending he could have gotten.



Boy, that was a rant, huh?