To: Ryan Ross (blinkexists@aol.com)
From: Spencer Smith (bangmydrum@gmail.com)
Re: Peengate Revisited
Dude... Um, I don't know how to tell you this, but someone got ahold of some pictures of your d**k. And they're all over the internet.
- Your completely innocent bff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Spencer the lame
From: Ryan the not amused
Re: Re: Peengate Revisited
Very funny.
Nice try, but that's not possible. Who do you think I am? Wentz?
If I've learned one thing from that man, it's that unnecessarily long song titles that reference literature and pop culture and have nothing to do with the song itself are a great way to trick teenagers into thinking you're deep.
If I've learned a SECOND thing from him, it's not to take noodz of yourself. I only do topless shots thanksverymuch. They're much classier.
I wouldn't expect you to understand.
- R Ross
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: George Ryan Ross the Third
From: Spence
Re: No srsly
Sorry man. Hate to break it to you, but it's definitely your d**k. I've been looking at the damn thing since we were kids, I think I'd know it by now.
Uh... I mean that in the straightest way possible.
Anyway, about 7 1/4 inches long, 5 inch girth, slight curve to the left, and a rosy blush on the tip? Sound familiar?
- Spencer the all-knowing
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Spencer James Smith
From: Don't ******** call me George
Re: Re: No srsly
You perv.
- Ryan the disbelieving
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: George George George
From: Spencer the straightest guy you know
Re: Oh ye of little faith
"You perv."
...says the closet exhibitionist.
Fine. You ask for proof? I give you proof:
http://male-celebrities-nude.org/ryan-ross/3.jpg
And would anyone else in the entire world think satin sheets in a paisley print were a good idea? Really now.
*ducks under cover to avoid the Rysplosion*
- Spencer, your friend, who swears that he had absolutely nothing to do with this
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Spencer!
From: Totally freaking out over here
Re: LKSEFHASKEHFALSNKI!!!!!
What. the. hell?1/!!11!
OMG Spencer, what do we do? How the ******** does this happen?!
Fix it for me. Pleeeease?! Just make it go away, okay? You're good at that.
PS. If you're so straight, then what are you doing on a site called 'Male celebrities nude'?
- RR
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Ryan
From: Spence
Re: Re: LKSEFHASKEHFALSNKI!!!!!
I don't know how it happened, okay? Maybe someone hacked your sidekick.
Are you suuuuuure you weren't taking pics of yourself with it? Come on, Ry. I know you. Cam-whore ways die hard.
And the picture is on the internet. That means your d**k has probably been spread all over LJ by now. Hell, it'll probably end up in the top 10 Google searches for the day. I can't just make this one go away. It's not that easy. It's not Brent.
PS. Um... Jon sent me that link. When we were chatting over aim. About very hetero-guy-type things. You know... basketball, boobs, beer... other b-words...
Anyway... I've gotta go work out and stuff. You know how it is. Bench-pressing, bicep-curls, buns and thighs...
Later!
- Your bro Spence
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Jon Walker (bottleof_jack_meoff@yahoo.com)
From: Spencer Smith (bangmydrum@gmail.com)
Re: Wuh-Oh
I think Ryan might suspect the truth. Just wanted to give you a heads up.
Also, what are you wearing?
- xo
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Spence
From: JWalk
Re: Re: Wuh-Oh
Damn. So the jig is up? What should I say if he asks me about it? Just tell him the truth?
Just a pair of flip-flops and a smile, baby. wink
You?
- xxx
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Jon Walker (bottleof_jack_meoff@yahoo.com)
From: Ryan Ross (blinkexists@aol.com)
Re: Oh what a tangled web we weave...
Joooooon... Is there anything you'd like to tell me?
Spencer already spilled the beans. So you might as well just make this easier on yourself and fess up.
- Ryan 'don't ******** with me' Ross
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Ryan (Old buddy, old pal)
From: Your dear friend Jon
Re: Re: Oh what a tangled web we weave...
Okok. Gees. Well, if you really must know... Yes. It's true.
Spencer and I have been seeing each other intimately for a few months now.
What I don't really get is why you are making such a big deal out of it. I thought you of all people would understand. You DO realize you aren't exactly the straightest arrow in the quiver, right? I mean, if we were the Teletubbies, you'd be that purple one that carries a purse.
Actually... maybe Brendon would be that one.
Um...
Okay. I got it. It's like he's your superhero sidekick, you know? The Robin to your Batman. So basically, you may not be the gayest guy around, but you're still a man in tights. You follow me?
And we would have told everyone, but we wanted some time for ourselves, just to let it build without the pressure of everybody knowing. Plus, at first we weren't sure if it would work out. And on the chance that it didn't, we didn't want it to be all weird for everyone.
But at this point I think it's safe to say that things are going really well, and I likehimawholelot. So... yeah. There you have it.
But do me a favor and don't tell Brendon. Cause you know he can never keep a secret.
Actually, don't tell Pete either. He'd want to watch.
- Jon
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: My Jon
From: Your Spencer
Re: No worries
Nah, it's cool. I think I managed to throw him off our trail with the cunning use of words starting with 'b'. So just don't tell him anything.
In answer to your other question: a snorkel. :]
- Mostly naked Spencer
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: My mostly naked Spencer
From: Your mostly naked Jon
Re: Re: No worries
Oh s**t. Too late. The cat's already out of the bag.
Or in this case, out of the closet.
Sorry sad
In other news: I think that one of us should probably put on some clothes long enough to come see the other one. That way, we can be mostly naked together.
Just an idea... if you aren't too mad.
- Your sweet, loving, horny, and veryverysorry boyfriend
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: J
From: S
Re: (no subject)
******** it.
I'm on my way.
- <3
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Jon
From: Ryan
Re: Wut.
You're gay?
- ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Ry
From: Jwalk
Re: Re: Wut.
Um, yeah, that's what I'm saying. Is that a big deal?
Wait. What were YOU talking about?
- ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Jon 'way to screw up my world view' Walker
From: Ryan
Re: You being a fairy
I was talking about my c**k, obviously.
Someone took a pic of it and leaked it on the internet. From what Spencer said, I thought it was your doing.
No, it's not a big deal. I'm just... surprised. You were kind of our single claim to heterosexuality. And up till now I've been cultivating your style to appeal to straight females. Oh well, I guess you could have a certain 'niche' appeal in the gay crowd as well.
Hmm...
Do you own anything leather?
- Ryan 'Posh Spice' Ross
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Ry
From: Jwalk
Re: You being the fairy QUEEN
Obviously. :-
Oh. Nope. Wasn't me, man.
Er... I think I have a leather motorcycle hat somewhere, maybe. And a bandanna...
So you're not at all surprised that I just told you your best friend was gay too?
- Jon 'still straighter than you' Walker
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Jon
From: Ryan
Re: Don't hate just cause I'm prettier than you
So you SAY. But the truth is out there. I'll find it.
Oh good. The hat and the bandanna will work fabulously. We can pick up a vest and some chaps for you later. I'm thinking your hair should be shorter too. Right now it's a little too emo-pretty-boy. Definitely keep the beard though.
Stick with me kid, and I'll turn you into the leather-daddy de jour. All the twinks will want you to be their papa-bear. wink
Surprised about SPENCER being gay? Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft... Have you looked at him? He's the best evidence for biological causation in homosexuality that I've ever seen.
Plus he knows the exact dimensions of my d**k, man. That's just queer.
- R Ross
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Jon Jacob Walker
From: Jesus Christ
Re: A request from on high
Stop copying me.
- JC
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: the big J-man in the sky
From: Jwalk
Re: Re: A request from on high
Hey, I make this look GOOD.
Don't be jealous. It's a sin.
- your favorite Jon
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Spencer
From: Ryan
Re: Your a** and my d**k... but not together
How could you not tell me you and Jon are ********?? Or rather that he's ******** you. (we both know you're a big nelly bottom) I thought we were bff. sad
More importantly, I'm no closer to figuring out who the hell leaked the pic of my p***s. Say what you will, but the picture didn't come from MY sidekick, and I certainly never took it.
Ugggggghhh. God dammit!
Oh well, at least it's just my c**k in the picture. I mean, there's really no way they can prove that's me.
We'll just deny it like we did with that pic of me and Brendon making out last year.
- R Ross
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Ryan
From: Spencer and Jon
Re: Re: Your a** and my d**k... but not together
Of course we're still bff! We just didn't want to tell ANYONE yet. Think of it this way: you're still the first person to know. Uh, besides all those kids on livejournal.
Um... yeah... about that other thing...
That pic I sent you? Well... it's only one from a set of 20. You can definitely see your face in a lot of them. And it's undeniably you.
Hm, it seems like you were sleeping at the time. Aww, you look so peaceful. Only, I wonder what you were dreaming about to get THAT sort of reaction, huh? wink
Well, we gotta go. You know how it is... busy, busy!
- Joncer
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: What the ******** is a Joncer?
From: Ryan
Re: SEFSAEAFISUEFHLASEUHFAEFAGEWFIGLEFUSALEGFBVASKEH!!!!11/1!!!!ELEVEN11!!!!!!!
OMFG!!!!
Mark my words. Someone will DIE when I find out who did this!
Wait. You guys are together right now? I swear to God, you two had better not be ********! If you hadn't noticed, we're kind of having a BAND EMERGENCY here! afwhflawehgf!!
omg... You ARE ********, aren't you?
OH GOD! You're ******** while you're looking at noodz of me?!?!?!
You perverts.
- I feel so violated.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Ryan
From: Jon + Spencer = Joncer
Re: Re: SEFSAEAFISUEFHLASEUHFAEFAGEWFIGLEFUSALEGFBVASKEH!!!!11/1!!!!ELEVEN11!!!!!!!
Chill out dude. Look, it had to have been someone pretty close to you, right? I mean, they were able to get pictures of you sleeping naked. So there aren't THAT many possible suspects.
If it makes you feel better, Jon says that the photos have really nice lighting and composition, all things considered.
And no, we aren't ********. It'd be a little hard to type while having sex, don't you think?
Jon's giving me head.
- Spencer, who also feels violated, and <3's it
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Bandmates: Brendon Urie (hot_male@hotmail.com), Jon Walker (bottleof_jack_meoff@yahoo.com), Spencer Smith (bangmydrum@gmail.com)
From: Ryan Ross (blinkexists@aol.com)
Re: My great shame
Okay, you Juda's. Listen up.
I know that one of you did it. Confess now and I'll be lenient.
- Your lord and master
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Ryan
From: Brendon
CC: Bandmates (Jon, Spencer)
Re: Re: My great shame
Wait. Whats hapenning?
Is this about ur electrick razer? Im sory, that was me. I barrowed it to shave that hart into my pubes.
But Ryan... I thawt u said it was cute! sad
- Bden
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Ryan
From: Spencer and Jon
CC: Brendon
Re: Idiots
Brendon... It's good that you're pretty.
Ryan... Look, I know I said that it had to be someone close to you, but that doesn't necessarily mean it was one of US. I mean, look at the guys from FOB. They've have stayed over at your condo and gone on tour with us. There are other people who have had the opportunity.
Jon just said he agrees. At least I think that's what he said... It's kinda hard to tell when he's got his mouth full.
- Swalk
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Bandmates (Brendon, Jon, Spencer)
From: Ryan Ross
CC: FOB: Andy Hurley (muscularsurfer@msn.com), Joe Trohman (sith_lord_joe@mac.com), Patrick Stump (pat_in_the_hat@gmail.com), Peter Wentz (defnotasellout@mtv.com)
Re: So there's been an incident...
Attach: myhotbod.zip (5.6 mb)
Alright. The attached file contains pics of me that one of YOU took, and which are now circulating the net.
I DEMAND to know who did this. One way or another, I will find out who's responsible, so it's in your best interest to just tell me now.
Doing otherwise will only further provoke my wrath and prolong your inevitable misery.
TELL ME!
- esiughaweghalw!!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Ryan Ross (blinkexists@aol.com)
From: Peter Wentz (defnotasellout@mtv.com)
Re: Secksy
hai bb! thnks fr th pics! ur b0d iz lookin sic.
i kno how u feel bb. ive totes been th3r3.
but tbh, u & i dun hav ne-thing 2 worry bout. were both totes hung lyk elefantz. u kno?
sew jus lawl @ it & m0ve on.
btw. u + me = buttseckz l8er? y/n?
- P3t3
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Pete
From: Ryan
Re: Re: Secksy
n.
- RR
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Andy Hurley (muscularsurfer@msn.com)
From: Joe Trohman (sith_lord_joe@mac.com)
Re: Holy ********!
Ryan's a guy?!
- Joe
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Joe Trohman (sith_lord_joe@mac.com)
From: Andy Hurley (muscularsurfer@msn.com)
Re: Re: Holy ********!
I know, right?? Who'da thought?
s**t man, there goes Shower Masturbation Fantasy #11.
- a very (sexually) confused Andy
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Andy
From: Joe
Re: Re: Re: Holy ********!
Seriously.
And dude, whoever took those pictures is gonna be in BIG trouble.
I mean, Ryan's only like 14, right? That s**t's illegal. We're gonna have the FBI up in here soon.
Do you think one of the agents will let me hold their badge?
- Special Agent Joe
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Ryan
From: Jon and Spencer
CC: Bandmates (Brendon), FOB (Andy, Joe, Patrick, Pete)
Re: Re: So there's been an incident...
Hey. This is Jon now. Spencer's... busy.
Anyway, I think you may have missed his point. The guys from Fall Out Boy were just an example. And sure, it could be one of them, or one of us, but there are still other possible suspects to consider.
Think about it. Really, anyone you've had sex with would have had ample opportunity to get those shots. So you may want to see about widening your search rather than just accusing your closest and most trustworthy friends.
Oh. And Spencer says, "Hmuerffle."
- Spenon
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Bandmates (Brendon, Jon, Spencer), FOB (Andy, Joe, Patrick, Pete)
From: Ryan
CC: William Beckett, Michael Carden, Adam T. Siska, Andy Mrotek, Tom Conrad, Zack, Gabe Saporta, Travis McCoy, Disashi Lumumba-Kasongo, Dirty, Bob Morris, Shaant Hacikyan, Conor Oberst, Tom Higgenson, Tom DeLonge, Mark Hoppus, Travis Barker, Sonny Moore, Matt Good, Stephan Jenkins, Jack Marin, Adam Duritz, Gerard Way, Mikey Way, Ray Toro, Frank Iero, Bob Bryar, Tom Waits, Davey Havok, Jade Puget, Brian Viglione, Adam Lazzara, Matt Rubano, Paul Wall, Tyson Ritter, Nick Wheeler, Jared Leto, Bert McCracken, Quinn Allman, Brandon Flowers, Morrissey, Dave Navarro, Jay Z, Tommy Lee, Chuck Palahniuk, David Bowie, that guy who works at Dolce and Gabbana
Re: Bitches ain't s**t.
Attach: myhotbod.zip (5.6 mb)
Alright you ball-lickers! One of you bastards took noodz of me and posted them up on the web.
And to whichever one of you is the mother ******** who's responsible, this is for you:
________ __ __ _______ __ __
| | | | | | / | | | / /
| ------' | | | | | ____| | | / /
| |___ | | | | | | | |/ /
| ___| | | | | | | | /
| | | | | | | |____ |
| | | -- | | | | |
|__| ________/ ______| |__| __
_____
|| ||
|___/|
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
_____|<--->|_____
/ | |
/ | | | |
| | | | | |
| | | | | |
| | |
| | |
| /
| /
/
/
| |
| |
____ ____ _________ ___ ___
/ / / | | | |
/ / | _____ | | | | |
/ | | | | | | | |
/ | | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | | | |
| | | |_____| | | |___| |
| | | | | |
|___| _________/ ___________/
AND I never found out which one of you bitches gave me that nasty case of genital warts last year, so YOU go ahead and heed that message as well.
Rest assured that until I find out who did this, I will console myself by making ALL of your lives a living hell. Consider this your warning.
CONFESS DAMMIT!!!! DO IT NOW!!11!!!
ZSLEGHOEA[ EWOIJAERWI[OGJ A'WOIERJG 'AWORIEGJA'EJ~!/!!!!!1!!!!111!!!
- the best ******** you'll ever have
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Ryan Ross (blinkexists@aol.com)
From: Conor Oberst (sad_boy_inthe_snow@mac.com)
Re: Re: Bitches ain't s**t
Greetings and Salutations Ryan,
I'm obviously not the party who orchestrated the release of those risque photographs, but I thought I'd raise a point that you seem to be overlooking. Just something for you to think about.
All that's being exposed in those pictures is your physical form, your outer shell. But as artists, we bare our souls to the public eye every day. Isn't that a much more invasive form of exposure?
What are a few pixelated inches of skin compared to the inner workings of the human heart?
Namaste.
- Conor
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Conor Oberst (sad_boy_inthe_snow@mac.com)
From: Ryan Ross (blinkexists@aol.com)
Re: Re: Re: Bitches ain't s**t
stfu Oberst.
You were a lousy lay.
- Ryan
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Ryan
From: Pete (your boss)
Re: Re: Bitches ain't s**t
Attach: peenwars.gif (147kb), danceofthepeen.gif (207 kb), camwhoreluv.gif (164 kb)
hai th3r3 u!
i thot i tld u not 2 wry bout teh pics. u = hawt bb.
bsides. chek out teh gifs i f0und on lj. teh bbs made ~manips of ur peen & mine 2gether.
rnt they totes awsumez???!!!
Oh yes. I also had a potential business venture that I wanted to discuss with you. You can't exactly put the toothpaste back in the tube, so we may as well milk it for all it's worth. Am I right? As you are probably aware, Cobra Starship has an album coming out soon. I was hoping I could convince you to do a reenactment of the original photos, only with a copy of their new album covering all of your bits and tackle. You know they say the #1 rule in advertising is 'location, location, location'. I assure you I would make it worth your while. Also, I just got an offer today from Playgirl. It seems that they'd like to shoot the two of us together for the cover of their next issue. Now, I know you weren't really into the whole 'becoming a model' idea, but I want you to consider this carefully. It could be a very profitable venture for both of us, as well as earning your band some more of that 'mature' 'adult' cred that you've been longing for.
alrite, l8er bb! ily! u + me = OTP 4 sho!
- P3t3
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Pete
From: Ryan
Re: Re: Re: Bitches ain't s**t
i h8 u.
- rr
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Ryan Ross (blinkexists@aol.com)
From: Tom Waits (shabbily_dressed_gentleman@gmail.com)
Re: Re: Bitches ain't s**t
Who are you and how did you get my email?
- Thomas Alan Waits
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Bandmates (Brendon, Jon, Spencer), FOB (Andy, Joe, Patrick, Pete)
From: Ryan
CC: William Beckett, Michael Carden, Adam T. Siska, Andy Mrotek, Tom Conrad, Zack, Gabe Saporta, Travis McCoy, Disashi Lumumba-Kasongo, Dirty, Bob Morris, Shaant Hacikyan, Conor Oberst, Tom Higgenson, Tom DeLonge, Mark Hoppus, Travis Barker, Sonny Moore, Matt Good, Stephan Jenkins, Jack Marin, Adam Duritz, Gerard Way, Mikey Way, Ray Toro, Frank Iero, Bob Bryar, Tom Waits, Davey Havok, Jade Puget, Brian Viglione, Adam Lazzara, Matt Rubano, Paul Wall, Tyson Ritter, Nick Wheeler, Jared Leto, Bert McCracken, Quinn Allman, Brandon Flowers, Morrissey, Dave Navarro, Jay Z, Tommy Lee, Chuck Palahniuk, David Bowie, that guy who works at Dolce and Gabbana
Re: You asked for this...
I HATE YOU ALL!!1!!1!!1! (especially Pete)
afelja pewiopoihgfawags!!!21q!!!/!11
Alright. I really didn't want for it to have to come to this, but you bitches have pushed me too far! I have been forced into action by your lack of cooperation.
If you do a quick search of you apartments and homes, you may notice that several things are missing.
That's right slutbags! I have taken all of your make-up, your straighteners, your hair products, your jewelry, your hand creams, your grillz, your girl jeans, your limited edition sneakers, your hoodies, your man-bags, your faux-retro band tees, your studded belts. Basically, everything that you all hold dear.
And until the culprit comes forward, I will systematically burn it all. One piece at a time.
So don't take too long, gentlemen. The fate of your belongings rests in my creepy, long-fingered hands.
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
- RR
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Ryan Ross (blinkexists@aol.com)
From: William Beckett (thesehipsdontlie@yahoo.com)
CC: Panic!, FOB, All Of Ryan's ********
Re: Re: You asked for this...
Hey there Ryry,
Looking at these pics made me a little nostalgic. You and I need to get it together again, dollface. It's been far too long.
What are your thoughts on all this 'emorexic' b.s. everyone's spouting lately? Personally, I think they're all just jealous. We're two incredibly gorgeous male specimens, and they can't take it. So what if we're both a little on the thin side? You know what happens when you rub two sticks together?
Fire, baby. wink
Call me.
Oh, yeah. I'm not the one who took those pictures, so can I have my hair supplies back? Pleeeeeease?
When I don't fix my hair Sisky says I look like a baby lion. :[
- Billy Beckett
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Ryan Ross (blinkexists@aol.com)
From: Davey Havok (allthat_glitters_isgay@aol.com)
CC: Panic!, FOB, All Of Ryan's ********
Re: Re: You asked for this...
You took my make-up, you vicious little queen! How COULD you?
Listen up you skanks. If I have to leave my house today without putting my 'face' on, the only place I'm going is the top of a clock tower with a high-powered rifle.
So unless you want blood on your hands, whichever of you bitches did this had better just speak up now.
- Davey
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Ryan Ross (blinkexists@aol.com)
From: Gerard Way (corners_ofmy_blackened_soul@msn.com)
CC: Panic!, FOB, All Of Ryan's ********
Re: Re: You asked for this...
You has taken my ~precious~.
I needs it back!
If I does not get it back soon, I will has to resort to more... diabolical means.
I will hunt down the foul fiend who has orchestrated this villainous act. And I will KILL them. KILL, I say!!!
I will grind your bones into a paste and mix it with your blood. Then I shall use the mixture to paint great works of ~art~ depicting the way I has killed thee.
I will host a dinner party for all of my closest friends, and serve them an extravagant feast composed of your flesh.
I will use your skin and teeth to create a fabulous centerpiece for the table.
REPENT SINNERS!!!!!
THE END IS INCREDIBLY ******** NIGH!!!!!
Yours always
- Gee
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Ryan Ross (blinkexists@aol.com)
From: Patrick Stump (pat_in_the_hat@gmail.com)
CC: Panic!, FOB, All Of Ryan's ********
Re: Re: You asked for this...
Well, it doesn't sound as though you've misappropriated any items that I particularly cherish. But since you appear so engrossed in finding the culprit, I thought I'd let you know that I myself am not the culpable party. And I wish you the best of luck in apprehending this felonious deviant.
Sincerely
- Patrick Stump
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Patrick
From: Ryan
CC: Panic!, FOB, All Of Ryan's ********
Re: Re: Re: You asked for this...
Oh yeah. I took your hats too.
Forgot to mention that. Sry.
- Ryan
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Ryan
From: Patrick
CC: Panic!, FOB, All Of Ryan's ********
Re: Re: Re: Re: You asked for this...
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Please. I beg you! Whoever did it, just turn yourself in! Pleeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaasssssssse!!!!
I'm down on my knees here guys. Come on! There's nothing more pitiful than the sight of a fat man crying.
- Trick
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Ryan
From: Brendon
CC: Panic!, FOB, All Of Ryan's ********
Re: Re: You asked for this...
Alrite. Alrite. I took the picters, ok? It was me. I connfess.
But I sware I didnt leek them! I dont no how they got on the enternet, Ryan. I promiss!
Pleese dont be mad at me. :[
- yor Bden
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The door of the apartment slammed open as Ryan strode through with single-minded purpose. His eyes scanned over the piles of video game equipment and modest furnishings, looking for the sole occupant. Satisfied that even he wasn’t small enough to hide in the cabinets of the entertainment center, he continued on into the bedroom.
“Brendoooon,” Ryan called. “Come out, come out, wherever you are!”
There was no immediate sign of the boy in question, but then a quiet sniffle came from inside the closet, giving away his location. Ryan was there in two strides of his long legs, trying to open the closet door, and failing miserably. It appeared that Brendon was holding the doorknob from the other side.
“Brendon,” Ryan grated out, slapping his palm against the door in frustration. “You will not push me into some ridiculously transparent tableau that forces me to beg you to come out of the closet! Get your bubbly a** out here now!.”
“Nuh uh,” came the tearful sounding reply, after a moment.
“I’m gonna count to ten!” Ryan threatened. “One… Two…”
By seven the door swung open, and the sight of Brendon’s big, wet, brown eyes and pouty bottom lip were enough to give even Ryan pause.
Ryan sighed. “Why, Brendon? What on earth possessed you to take those pictures?”
Brendon gave another heartfelt sniffle and started fidgeting with his hands. “I- I just… You were laying there asleep, and you looked so beautiful. And I just… I just wanted them, you know? For me. Just so I could look at them and… stuff. For when you weren’t around. So I could still see you like that. But I swear,” he said earnestly, “I didn’t post them on the internet! I didn’t even show them to anyone else. I don’t know how they- Mpff!”
Any further rambling was cut off by the insistent press of Ryan’s mouth against Brendon’s full lips. Brendon’s hands fluttered uncertainly down Ryan’s sides. Then they tightened around his hips as Ryan deepened the kiss, urging Brendon’s head to the side with fingers threaded through dark hair, urging his mouth open with lips and teeth and tongue. The kiss was hard and hungry at first, and then slower, longer, more, as Brendon whimpered low in his throat.
When Ryan pulled back, Brendon blinked at him through glazed eyes, his chest heaving, laboring to pull in air as Ryan worked the boy’s shirt up over his head. Ryan leaned forward and went to work trailing kisses from the pale column of Brendon’s throat, down to the exposed collarbone. Brendon gasped and let his head fall back. Meanwhile, Brendon’s clever fingers slipped under the hem of Ryan’s shirt and over the soft skin of his stomach.
Ryan paused in his ministrations so that Brendon could remove his shirt as well, and then immediately stepped closer into the warmth of the other boy’s body.
Brendon looked into his eyes with some mixture of relief and awe. “I-I thought that you’d be mad…”
Ryan quieted him with more kisses and then palmed Brendon’s growing erection through his jeans, causing the younger man’s breath to hitch against his lips. Ryan broke the kiss with a knowing smirk, pressing one more quick peck against Brendon’s swollen mouth before he dropped to his knees.
Ryan’s hands deftly opened Brendon’s fly while his mouth was busy kissing and licking over the line of muscle at Brendon’s hip. Ryan tugged Brendon’s jeans down over the swell of his hips, and mouthed at his c**k through the baby blue cotton of Brendon’s boxer briefs. Brendon tensed and groaned above him.
Ryan’s smile grew as he divested Brendon of all his clothing, pulling the jeans and underwear down over his bare feet. He took in the familiar scent of Brendon’s arousal as he leaned in and licked a stripe up the underside of Brendon’s c**k, finishing off with a playful kiss on the tip. Beneath the hands Ryan had on Brendon’s hips, he could feel the boy’s whole body shudder.
As Ryan stood back up, Brendon was immediately there to meet him, capturing his mouth in a kiss that was salty with a mix of Brendon’s earlier tears and his precum on Ryan’s lips. The kiss continued with growing intensity as Ryan ran his hands down Brendon’s back, to the generous curve of Brendon’s a**. Without looking, Ryan turned them and carefully propelled Brendon backwards until the edge of the bed caught the backs of Brendon’s knees and he fell onto the downy comforter, effectively breaking their kiss.
Brendon licked his bruised lips in anticipation, watching Ryan with a lust in his eyes that faltered as he saw Ryan’s hand reach down into his jeans pocket and pull out his sidekick.
“I- I love you,” Brendon quickly stuttered out.
“Awww…” Ryan paused and gave Brendon a look filled with genuine warmth. “I love you too, baby.”
A light blush spread over Brendon’s cheeks and his face split into a wide, happy grin.
“But that won’t save you.”
Brendon’s smile disappeared.
“Sorry kiddo,” Ryan nonchalantly continued, selecting the camera function, “but love’s got nothing to do with it. This is revenge, pure and simple.”
Brendon’s eyes widened in abject horror as Ryan raised his sidekick to frame the shot.
“Wait, wait, wait!” Brendon called out desperately, waving his hands in front of the lens.
Ryan peered down at him over the top of his sidekick.
Brendon heaved a breath and barreled on. “Just stop for a minute and think about this, okay? Think about the band! I don’t think posting pictures of my d**k is really the best way to enhance our image.”
Ryan gave a thoughtful look to the d**k in question. “Hmm… Yeah, I see what you mean.”
Brendon wasn’t sure whether to be offended or relieved.
Ryan stood pondering the dilemma for a long minute. Brendon watched in trepidation as a slow smile began to work its way over the other boy’s features.
Ryan raised the sidekick back up in front of his eyes.
“Roll over!”
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This my journal, BITCHES!!!!!!
Um, I probably won't use this very much so why the hell does it matter how I describe this thing? ITS A JOURNAL. I CAN WRITE WHAT EVER I DAMN WELL PLEASE! >:P
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Neko-jin_789
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User Comments: [1] [add]
User Comments: [1] [add]
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Slash is yummy. :3