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"Shikamaru!" Naruto yelled. Shikamaru groaned.
"What, Naruto?" Shikamaru asked.
"I have some questions, Mr. Smartest Man in Konoha." Naruto said.
"What are they?" Shikamaru asked. Naruto pulled out a scroll, which unraveled itself fully... 20 feet away. Shikamaru sweat dropped. This was going to take awhile...
"Hm... number one, can you cry underwater?" Naruto asked. Shikamaru looked at him like he was an idiot.
"No, Naruto, you cannot cry underwater." Shikamaru said. Naruto scribbled something down.
"Number two, if a man alone in the woods said something, would a woman still say he was wrong?" Naruto asked.
"No, Naruto, nobody would be with him in the woods because he was alone." Shikamaru said.
"Oh. Ok, then. Number three, if someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the center of the earth?" Naruto asked.
"No, Naruto." Shikamaru said.
"If you have a cold Hot Pocket, is it just a pocket?" Naruto asked. Shikamaru opened his mouth, only to find he did not know.
"I don't know that, Naruto." Shikamaru said.
"Uh-huh, uh-huh..." Naruto said, scribbling more stuff down.
"Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?" Naruto asked.
"Because it's plastic, and nothing sticks to plastic." Shikamaru said.
"Oh, like, 'I am plastic, you are glue. Whatever you say won't stick to me?' or whatever it is?" Naruto asked.
"Yeah, sure." Shikamaru said.
"Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore if you can just pick them up anyway?" Naruto asked.
"It's just a tongue twister, Naruto. It doesn't have to make sense." Shikamaru said.
"If they have angel food cake on earth, do they have people food cake in heaven?" Naruto asked.
"No, Naruto." Shikamaru said.
"If you fart and burp at the same time, would it make a vacuum in your tummy?"
"No."
"Why is it that if someone yells "Duck" they are helping you, but if they yell "Chicken" they are insulting you?"
"I don't know, Naruto."
"Why do you put two cents in when it's only a penny for your thoughts?"
"They're both figures of speech, Naruto."
"Oh... Are you sure?"
"Yes, Naruto. I'm sure." Shikamaru said.
"Hm... Why doesn't flavored gum turn your mouth that color?"
"Because it doesn't."
"Why?"
"Because it was made like that, Naruto."
"Fine... why do people sing "Rock a bye baby" to their kids when it's about putting your baby in a tree and watching it fall down to the ground?"
"Because people don't care to listen to the lyrics."
"Why do we say we're head over heels when we're happy? Isn't that the way we normally are?"
"It's a figure of speech, Naruto."
"Do nudists have pin-ups of people with clothes on?"
"Why would you ask that question?"
"HEY!" Naruto yelled. "I'M the one asking the questions here, Smarty Pants!"
"No they wouldn't, Naruto."
"Why do people constantly return to the fridge hoping that new food somehow appeared in the twenty seconds they were gone?" Naruto asked.
"Because they're stupid."
"Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?"
"Because people can be stupider than you."
"If a king is gay and marries another guy, what is that guy to the royal family?"
"Troublesome..."
"Hn... Why is it when you're sleeping it's called drool, but when you're awake it's called spit?"
"They're the same thing."
"Would you die if you didn't pee?"
"No, Naruto. You wouldn't die if you didn't pee."
"Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs."
"Because of a secret conspiracy." Naruto froze.
"A secret conspiracy?"
"What?! No! I said the religious are secretive!" Shikamaru lied.
"Oh... If ketchup is good on french fries, how come it isn't good on mashed potatoes?"
"Because the french fries are fried in fat and grease, giving it more flavor."
"Can you slam a revolving door?"
"No."
"What would happen if you found a four leaf clover under a ladder?"
"I don't believe in superstitions."
"Is eating a mermaid considered cannibalism?"
"Naruto... mermaids don't exist."
"Whatever. Ok, number... uh... next, what shape is the sky?"
"It has no shape."
"Everything has a shape, Shikamaru."
"Not the sky."
"Does too."
"Does not."
"Too."
"Not."
"Too."
"Not."
"Too."
"Not."
"Alright! If you only have one eye, are you blinking or winking?" Naruto asked.
"Blinking."
"When an adult is kidnapped, why isn't called adultnapped?"
"It was made that way, Naruto."
"Did Yankee Doodle name the feather, hat, town, or his pony Macaroni?"
"Uh... I don't know what you're talking about."
"Why is it that people duck in the rain? Do they really think the rain won't hit them?"
"I can't answer that, Naruto. Human stupidity amazes me." Shikamaru laid his head down to sleep, but Naruto didn't seem to notice.
"Why isn't the caps lock capitalized?"
"..."
"If someone with a nose ring takes it out, then blows their nose do they have to cover that hole and their nose so the snot doesn't get everywhere?"
"..."
"Isn't it weird that if you rearrange the word 'Teacher', you get 'Cheater'?"
"If a priest goes to the bathroom, is it considered holy crap?"
"..."
"Why do water bottles have a 'best if used by' date?"
"..."
"Why is there no pine or apple in pineapple?"
"..."
"Why do they put holes in crackers?"
"..."
"Does a baby feel the umbilical cord being cut off?"
"..."
"Is it legal to name your kid 'Anonymous'?"
"..."
"If you have a pet with 2 heads, do you have to name both heads?"
"..."
"How can the saying 'It's all going downhill from here' mean both that it will be easy, and that is going to get worse?"
"..."
"If a singer sings their own song during a karaoke party, is it considered karaoke?"
"..."
"If a person suffered from amnesia then was cured, would they remember that they forgot?"
"..."
"Who was in the kitchen with Dina?"
"..."
"What is a hacky, and why is it a sack?"
"..."
"Hello?"
"..."
"Hello!?"
"..."
"HELLO!"
"..."
"I love you!"
"I love you, too."

--Crack!! =3