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Four square

Hmm... I guess it's interesting the ways in which we change.
I used to be a very VERY open person. Once upon a time, way back when everyone was friends and there wasn't such a thing as racism.
Well, that changed awfully quickly, and I was swiftly bullied by those who once I could call my friends. I then grew very withdrawn, and found that I 'bottled' my emotion. This caused me to have to find ways to control the emotion, and I found this easier and easier to do over time.
Well, those who've known me for a while will remember my great outbursts of emotion back in... was it 2005? I believe the cause of it at that time was an intense crush on a certain person. After that incident, I struggled to control not only my base emotions, but my more subtle ones, also. I realized that even the smallest emotion can build and trigger a much larger one.
So, I had been controlling all of my emotions to a satisfactory degree, and avoided contact with people as much as possible (especially those who I found attractive). And then something interesting happened. I noticed a familiar feeling cropping up again... this time however, it was somehow different. I was unable to control it, no matter how I tried, and as I devoted more and more of my efforts towards it I lost control of more and more of my emotions. The feeling was, of course, my liking of a certain female by the name of Aimee.
Well, now that I'm going out with her, people have said that I am more open. That I talk more often. They'll have you believe this is a good thing. I'm not so sure....
You see, I still dislike my emotions. I can't control them anymore, and what's worse I have no outlets for them. So, once again, I'm bottling them. Of course, occasionally a bottle will break or have a leak. And, eventually, I'll run out of bottles and/or the shelf will fall over from the weight of them.

I don't really want to fix the problem, however. I can see only two viable options for fixing it, and neither are particularly welcoming... for different reasons.

Anywho, I kinda strayed off the point in this one.... as I did the others, I guess. Meh. Atleast it's something to write.