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i just read my journel and it's depressing but i have something important to get off my cheast...........my friend commited suicide at 2:30 pm yesterday she cut her neck and her wrists and the back of her knees sat in the tub and blead to death besides her parent i was the only other one to get a letter from her she said she didn't feel loved that people used her she felt like she wasn't worth anything to anybody i found out she used to pop speed to feel better and act happy and perky as she always was but really she was sad and lonely i knew something was going on for a couple of years but i never asked never tryed to help i feel like it was partly my fault everyone else said there was never anything wrong with her and this is very unexpected i knew better what's wrong with the world today where people have to hide there feelings for fear of rejection and emberissment....right now if i had the chance i would slap god in the face and walk away i would rather go to hell and make a point now then holding back..........she used to hold me when my dad hit me and i ran away to her house she always stopped the bleeding and when she did that it healed my heart more and more and now it's torn apart agian if only she knew how much she ment to me and everyone else maybe this wouldn't have happen