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Nail60 (11:20:47 PM): You called for me? LilpupLRH (11:21:48 PM): Si senor LilpupLRH (11:21:52 PM): I was curious LilpupLRH (11:22:00 PM): Like, why exactly do you despise Alison so? Nail60 (11:21:48 PM): I don't actually. XD LilpupLRH (11:22:38 PM): Orly? Nail60 (11:22:11 PM): I don't exactly like her, but I don't dislike her. XD Nail60 (11:22:19 PM): It's just fun to play along. XP Nail60 (11:22:43 PM): So, you know best, what song to get from I tunes with the 50$ I have for it? LilpupLRH (11:23:45 PM): Hmmmm. LilpupLRH (11:23:50 PM): What're you in the mood for? Nail60 (11:24:00 PM): Um... I think you sort of know my tast. Mood doesn't matter. The songs are permenent my moods aren't. LilpupLRH (11:25:11 PM): Ahahaha I love it when you say stuff like that LilpupLRH (11:25:12 PM): okay hold on Nail60 (11:24:51 PM): XD LilpupLRH (11:26:22 PM): Well, I need moods to categorize for myself Nail60 (11:25:44 PM): lol Nail60 (11:25:46 PM): sorry... Nail60 (11:25:48 PM): DX Nail60 (11:25:51 PM): Um... LilpupLRH (11:26:41 PM): So, for the slower s**t, I suggest World Waits For You by Son Volt LilpupLRH (11:26:44 PM): not the reprise version LilpupLRH (11:27:17 PM): Okay ******** moods LilpupLRH (11:27:30 PM): Fight Academy Songs by Mission of Burma Nail60 (11:26:57 PM): Ok. baught wwfy LilpupLRH (11:28:01 PM): The Unforgiven by Metallica LilpupLRH (11:28:21 PM): Thru the Eyes of Ruby by The Smashing Pumpkins LilpupLRH (11:28:45 PM): London Calling by The Clash LilpupLRH (11:30:02 PM): Optimistic by Radiohead LilpupLRH (11:30:46 PM): Moon Over Marin by the Dead Kennedys Nail60 (11:30:04 PM): Thru the Eyes of Ruby is only availabe if you buy the album. is the album goo? Nail60 (11:30:08 PM): d LilpupLRH (11:31:05 PM): Uhh, yeah I like it, but I don't know if you will. LilpupLRH (11:31:11 PM): However, if you want, go for it Nail60 (11:30:43 PM): meh. Flip a coin for me. XP Nail60 (11:31:03 PM): I have 35$ left LilpupLRH (11:31:54 PM): What the hell? Nail60 (11:31:23 PM): lol I already spent some of it LilpupLRH (11:32:09 PM): Ohh. LilpupLRH (11:32:11 PM): Hahahah. LilpupLRH (11:32:24 PM): Okay uhhh...The album isn't uppity Nail60 (11:31:44 PM): David bowies best and some other songs LilpupLRH (11:32:30 PM): It's kind of angry but some of it's sad Nail60 (11:31:56 PM): oh... LilpupLRH (11:32:44 PM): Yeah hah. Nail60 (11:32:05 PM): I'll pass I guess just because LilpupLRH (11:32:56 PM): Yeah I don't blame yu LilpupLRH (11:32:58 PM): lets seeeee LilpupLRH (11:33:09 PM): Winnebago Warrior by Dead Kennedys too LilpupLRH (11:33:35 PM): it'll be fun to see if you like the thrash of it hahah Nail60 (11:33:30 PM): Winnebago Warrior by Dead Kennedys too not bye Mojo Nixon? Nail60 (11:33:47 PM): by* LilpupLRH (11:34:37 PM): Right LilpupLRH (11:34:41 PM): Dead KEnnecys LilpupLRH (11:34:44 PM): *Dead Kennedys Nail60 (11:34:09 PM): I tunes doesn't have it than Nail60 (11:34:14 PM): then* LilpupLRH (11:35:24 PM): ******** iTunes LilpupLRH (11:35:40 PM): Uhhh..Okay try All The Negatives Have Been Destroyed by Spoon LilpupLRH (11:35:50 PM): see if you like that and then tell me because that whole album is like that Nail60 (11:35:12 PM): Looks like they don't do the dead kennedys LilpupLRH (11:36:06 PM): They probably didn't sell out yet Nail60 (11:35:29 PM): yep... LilpupLRH (11:36:36 PM): Uhhh.. They probably don't have One Reason but you can try The End Never Mattered by One Reason anyway LilpupLRH (11:37:11 PM): Have you gotten any of it yet? Nail60 (11:36:38 PM): yeah. LilpupLRH (11:37:29 PM): Listened to any of it? LilpupLRH (11:37:34 PM): The first stuff might be too slow Nail60 (11:36:55 PM): No lol Nail60 (11:37:05 PM): I'm gonna listen to it all tomorrow XD Nail60 (11:37:16 PM): I'm excited. My listen to it when i go to bed. LilpupLRH (11:38:03 PM): Ahhh you must listen to it! LilpupLRH (11:38:11 PM): I have to know if I'm giving you good suggestions LilpupLRH (11:38:23 PM): I don't want you to blow like 456356 dollars on music you dont even like Nail60 (11:37:54 PM): They didn't have the last one you said. LilpupLRH (11:38:47 PM): I'm not surprised Nail60 (11:38:08 PM): yeah... LilpupLRH (11:38:51 PM): They're pretty underground Nail60 (11:39:08 PM): Ok. I remembered one I needed to get. Nail60 (11:39:25 PM): The lead singing in sum 41 looks retarded. XD Nail60 (11:39:31 PM): *singer LilpupLRH (11:41:08 PM): Yes he does. Nail60 (11:40:43 PM): XP Do you have an I pod yet? Nail60 (11:40:46 PM): XP LilpupLRH (11:41:40 PM): Yesssss. LilpupLRH (11:41:42 PM): I'm so glad Nail60 (11:41:12 PM): ZEveryone getz one eventualy. LilpupLRH (11:42:08 PM): They're too efficient. LilpupLRH (11:42:11 PM): I feel kind of guitly LilpupLRH (11:42:15 PM): *guilty LilpupLRH (11:43:25 PM): Who Do You Think? by Interpol is such a fun song Nail60 (11:42:43 PM): That sucks. I think its all right in the end. LilpupLRH (11:43:35 PM): I hope you're right LilpupLRH (11:43:50 PM): I need to be re-talked out of being unafraid of death LilpupLRH (11:43:59 PM): that didn't make anyt sense LilpupLRH (11:44:09 PM): basically I'm afraid of death again and I hate it Nail60 (11:43:29 PM): lol Nail60 (11:43:30 PM): it did Nail60 (11:43:35 PM): ^_^ Nail60 (11:43:51 PM): You don't need to worry about it yet. LilpupLRH (11:44:49 PM): Don't say that. Nail60 (11:44:42 PM): Why not? Nail60 (11:45:02 PM): Because it can happen any time and that is also scary? LilpupLRH (11:45:49 PM): Yes. Nail60 (11:45:46 PM): No one should fear their own death. Only that of others. Nail60 (11:45:58 PM): And even then they should let go of anyone thwey fear to lose. XD jk Nail60 (11:46:09 PM): *nerds off* LilpupLRH (11:47:03 PM): No no no continue haha LilpupLRH (11:47:08 PM): I want to hear more Nail60 (11:46:30 PM): I like the one by interpol Nail60 (11:46:52 PM): I was quoting starwars for a second ther. Nail60 (11:46:56 PM): ther Nail60 (11:46:57 PM): XP LilpupLRH (11:47:47 PM): Wait, which one by Interpol Nail60 (11:47:20 PM): oh um... who do you thinkl LilpupLRH (11:48:17 PM): Yes, it's a good one LilpupLRH (11:48:19 PM): catchy Nail60 (11:47:55 PM): I like almost everything you like just so you know. ^_^ Nail60 (11:48:26 PM): I have a wide palet. LilpupLRH (11:49:27 PM): Hahah, I'm glad. Nail60 (11:53:24 PM): Anyway LilpupLRH (11:54:28 PM): When I die, I'm doing it myself. Nail60 (11:53:53 PM): Half the songs you listed weren't there. Hold on, there are a few others I need. Nail60 (11:54:00 PM): Oh god... LilpupLRH (11:54:44 PM): Mkay. Nail60 (11:54:04 PM): not this again Nail60 (11:54:07 PM): DX LilpupLRH (11:55:10 PM): Well I'm not serious this time LilpupLRH (11:55:19 PM): I'm just freaked the ******** out about dying Nail60 (11:54:42 PM): lol Nail60 (11:54:44 PM): Ok' Nail60 (11:54:54 PM): Theres not much wrong with that I guess. Nail60 (11:55:27 PM): Just got go killing every suspicious looking person you see. LilpupLRH (11:56:20 PM): I could die by accident. LilpupLRH (11:56:26 PM): At least murder is interesting Nail60 (11:55:47 PM): And if you do end up feeling that need... go to the doctewr imediately Nail60 (11:56:06 PM): doctewr!!!! Nail60 (11:56:24 PM): Murder would be exciting i guess... Nail60 (11:56:36 PM): It could be crappy. Nail60 (11:56:49 PM): Like a sniper err something would be pretty boring. LilpupLRH (12:00:29 AM): Woahwoahwoah LilpupLRH (12:00:36 AM): why did Anne Crick make you cry? Nail60 (12:00:47 AM): When? LilpupLRH (12:01:41 AM): There's been more than one time? Nail60 (12:01:08 AM): Well a little... Nail60 (12:01:26 AM): Begining of the year and her party last year. I felt a loving for her. DX LilpupLRH (12:02:17 AM): Damn. LilpupLRH (12:02:46 AM): That's pretty ad Nail60 (12:02:21 AM): ad LilpupLRH (12:04:11 AM): *bad LilpupLRH (12:04:16 AM): What with the whole lesbian thing Nail60 (12:08:16 AM): lol Nail60 (12:08:19 AM): Yeah Nail60 (12:13:28 AM): Besides that. Who have you liked of late? LilpupLRH (12:14:20 AM): what? Nail60 (12:13:48 AM): Who havew you liked lately Nail60 (12:14:08 AM): The letter "W" has been getting in my way today. LilpupLRH (12:15:03 AM): I see. LilpupLRH (12:15:08 AM): Uhhh...I don't know Nail60 (12:14:35 AM): of late is old style lately LilpupLRH (12:15:35 AM): Yeah, I figured but didn't really feel like being wrong Nail60 (12:15:33 AM): haha oh leah. Always afraid of failier LilpupLRH (12:16:30 AM): hahahah yeah pretty much LilpupLRH (12:16:36 AM): oh Sebrand, just as bad as me LilpupLRH (12:16:44 AM): but in different ways Nail60 (12:17:22 AM): What do you speek of now? XD LilpupLRH (12:18:36 AM): Nevermiiiiind LilpupLRH (12:18:40 AM): /dodging question Nail60 (12:18:15 AM): Hey. I can take it!!! Nail60 (12:18:32 AM): It's good to know your fualts. Nail60 (12:20:35 AM): hello? Come on... LilpupLRH (12:21:27 AM): What, YOUR faults? Nail60 (12:20:53 AM): Yes those. LilpupLRH (12:21:53 AM): you seem like you're a lot like me in that you really don't want to fail. Nail60 (12:21:13 AM): I use second person to describe people in jeneral Nail60 (12:21:16 AM): g* Nail60 (12:21:38 AM): I want to be succesful in the long run. Nail60 (12:21:49 AM): but I don't mind failing at the small things Nail60 (12:21:57 AM): But your right LilpupLRH (12:22:49 AM): You seem like a perfectionist, to some extent, and you're mildly self-destructive because sometimes, you think what you do or say is stupid Nail60 (12:22:19 AM): yes LilpupLRH (12:23:03 AM): and, you're easily frustrated by people that don't understand you Nail60 (12:22:31 AM): well... yeah. Nail60 (12:22:39 AM): not always? LilpupLRH (12:23:43 AM): or by the fact that sometimes, you can't explain your feelings to the extent that someone else needs you to, which results in frustration on behalf of yourself and directed towards the other person LilpupLRH (12:23:54 AM): understandably so Nail60 (12:23:12 AM): no Nail60 (12:24:06 AM): That part I don't mind. I don't dislike people that won't understand my feeling just like that but I do enjoy it when people do. Nail60 (12:24:17 AM): most people are like that though. LilpupLRH (12:25:14 AM): Yeh, I'm like that Nail60 (12:25:10 AM): I like it when poeple at least try to understand of truely think they do. Nail60 (12:25:27 AM): When they don't even get a hint though it's sort of sad. LilpupLRH (12:26:46 AM): Yeah I agree. LilpupLRH (12:27:02 AM): But, other than that, I don't see major flaws in you LilpupLRH (12:27:35 AM): Sometimes you come off as shallow to people who don't understand your humor, but it's not difficult to see that you're not shallow at all once you talk to you LilpupLRH (12:27:44 AM): it takes like, two seconds to see that you're not a shallow person Nail60 (12:27:28 AM): Thanks! Nail60 (12:28:08 AM): Sometimes I don't care about acting shallow though. Sometimes it's just a nice way to enjoy life. Nail60 (12:28:12 AM): You know? LilpupLRH (12:29:05 AM): Yeah, I do know LilpupLRH (12:29:22 AM): I like coming off as shallow sometimes, I like not having to think Nail60 (12:28:43 AM): It's nice to just not over annalize a situaltion before making a move every now and then LilpupLRH (12:29:30 AM): not worrying LilpupLRH (12:29:31 AM): yes Nail60 (12:29:50 AM): But sometimes I can't not over annalize. And then when I finnaly do move, I think through the plan fastter than i can move through it. LilpupLRH (12:30:43 AM): Sebrand, not to get sentimental but I'm so glad we're friends Nail60 (12:30:03 AM): and I stumble Nail60 (12:30:10 AM): Yeah Nail60 (12:30:13 AM): Same her Nail60 (12:31:14 AM): any way, XP, that's why I enjoy talking via the enternet more at times. It's harder to stumble and normaly I can weight as long as i want to think. LilpupLRH (12:32:32 AM): Yeah, and you can give the person an excuse LilpupLRH (12:32:45 AM): Like, if you didn't know what to say to something you can sit there and think about it LilpupLRH (12:32:56 AM): and then say, like, oh I had to go feed my dog Nail60 (12:32:13 AM): yeah Nail60 (12:32:19 AM): XD Nail60 (12:32:25 AM): but I never do that. XP Nail60 (12:33:08 AM): normaly they have soemthing else to do while they wate and normaly assume I had something else to do aswell so there no need to make something up. ^_^ Nail60 (12:38:35 AM): I love solf bathrobes. LilpupLRH (12:54:45 AM): Me too. LilpupLRH (12:54:50 AM): Although I never use them LilpupLRH (12:54:54 AM): now, what are my flaws LilpupLRH (12:54:58 AM): /Do I want to know Nail60 (12:54:53 AM): Um... We sorta when over some of those as we whent over mine. Nail60 (12:56:13 AM): I suppose... You feel you need to be around people when ever possible. You feel like your ... tell me, when you arn't submerged in a social life. Nail60 (12:57:23 AM): But I don't think you relize you don't need that. But now you feel like your to deep you surface and you fear having to start over. Nail60 (12:57:30 AM): again. Nail60 (12:59:32 AM): But you know the feeling of not having a social life. That nagging in the back of you mind asking what are you doing? Sitting here? what? weisting your time? You need to do something productuive I guess. I'm not sure if I said that all right. LilpupLRH (1:00:50 AM): Yeah. Yeah, you're definitley right about not wasting my time LilpupLRH (1:01:06 AM): I try to always be doing something LilpupLRH (1:01:27 AM): As for the fearing being alone thing, yes, I do osmetimes hate being alone LilpupLRH (1:01:39 AM): It does freak me out sometimes, it used to freak me out all the time LilpupLRH (1:01:47 AM): but lately, I think I'm okay with being alone LilpupLRH (1:01:54 AM): when I need to be, that is Nail60 (1:01:15 AM): It's not entirely a fault though. Just that is freaks you out as you pu it. LilpupLRH (1:02:14 AM): Yes. LilpupLRH (1:02:46 AM): I think a fault of mine is that I freak out about people leaving me. Nail60 (1:02:08 AM): (The nose peice of my glasses in missing the screw so it keeps falling out...) Nail60 (1:02:14 AM): yeah LilpupLRH (1:03:25 AM): It sounds cliche but I'm seeing a pattern of being scared of people loving me and then ditching me and sometimes I think I push people away in fear of that. Nail60 (1:02:48 AM): It's a fear many people have and normaly try to move on enstead. But... LilpupLRH (1:03:41 AM): Legitimately, not in that "oh this is the emo thing to say so I'll say it" Nail60 (1:03:10 AM): lol Nail60 (1:03:13 AM): yeah LilpupLRH (1:04:08 AM): Like, I really don't want to lose my friends and whenever it happens, it really feels like my fault LilpupLRH (1:04:09 AM): ahaha LilpupLRH (1:04:31 AM): like with Adrian and Ben, I mean, I definitley feel like that was all my fault Nail60 (1:03:49 AM): I understand. I noramaly don't get attatched like that offten but other time I want to. LilpupLRH (1:04:38 AM): whether I'll admit it to anyone else LilpupLRH (1:04:41 AM): or not Nail60 (1:04:02 AM): like I want to have those feeling but deep down i don't. LilpupLRH (1:05:01 AM): Feelings of attatchment? Nail60 (1:04:27 AM): Sorta i guess. Nail60 (1:04:55 AM): But things like that happen to people that get to caught up in moving of and forgetting things. Nail60 (1:05:36 AM): So fear of attechment and things like that are improtant to a certain extent. Nail60 (1:06:13 AM): Circles are dangerous as well... LilpupLRH (1:07:05 AM): What do you mean Nail60 (1:07:35 AM): hehe, I'll talk to you about it another day. you'll probably get it eventualy. LilpupLRH (1:08:32 AM): ..Okay. Nail60 (1:08:16 AM): Sorry. `= LilpupLRH (1:10:25 AM): Hahah it's okay LilpupLRH (1:10:33 AM): Let me ask you this LilpupLRH (1:10:39 AM): It's kind of weird Nail60 (1:10:14 AM): yes? LilpupLRH (1:11:07 AM): am I a good friend? LilpupLRH (1:11:16 AM): hahah it's a stupid question, I know Nail60 (1:10:46 AM): Probably the best at being a friend I know. LilpupLRH (1:11:59 AM): Do you mean that? Nail60 (1:11:41 AM): yeah. Even if it sounds stupid. Nail60 (1:12:21 AM): You just know what to say whether it matters or not. Nail60 (1:12:49 AM): Even if ther right think to say is I don't know. LilpupLRH (1:15:36 AM): Damn. LilpupLRH (1:15:46 AM): That's the nicest thing I can remember Nail60 (1:15:36 AM): lol Nail60 (1:16:07 AM): I've said other nice things to you. I guess you don't remember. o4r this was nicer. XD LilpupLRH (1:17:05 AM): Yeah this was nicer, hahah. LilpupLRH (1:17:25 AM): Mostly just because being a bad friend is a big insecurity LilpupLRH (1:17:36 AM): I've been accused of it many times Nail60 (1:17:10 AM): Well that was only cuz they suck so bad at it. LilpupLRH (1:18:06 AM): Hahahah, you think? Nail60 (1:17:30 AM): yeah. LilpupLRH (1:18:17 AM): Some of these people are your friends now Nail60 (1:17:41 AM): Well, they were sucking at it at the time Nail60 (1:17:51 AM): and what do you mean? Nail60 (1:18:01 AM): do i talk to them offten? LilpupLRH (1:18:50 AM): I don't know. LilpupLRH (1:19:12 AM): I just can't see why they hate me so damn much Nail60 (1:18:32 AM): Even so, that don't mean there god at being my friends. Nail60 (1:19:02 AM): I think it's stupid. That's all I can say. LilpupLRH (1:20:03 AM): Have they given you any reasons? Nail60 (1:24:53 AM): I don't talk to them. They just say it's wrong for someones best friend to do that a little less than a week from the break up. Which I think is stupid. Adrian was just pissed cuz ben never made a move on her (Which was one of the main reasons she broke up with him the first time. Wow that gives me ideas) So when he ended up making out with you like that a week after she had given up on hoping for something like that with hip it messed with her and yet gave her hope and also her excuse to yell at you for having been her best friend and then "Betraying" her like that. So then she ends up with hima few weekas later cuz she thinks he might have more guts now. But she didn't realize thart he still didn't and that you just have more guts than either of them. And I guess she has issues with you being better than her in so many ways. And it's hard to be best friends with someone that is on a different level than you. *breath* Nail60 (1:25:02 AM): There you go Nail60 (1:25:23 AM): I found something to say. thanks for the food for thought. XD LilpupLRH (1:26:49 AM): Damn. LilpupLRH (1:26:59 AM): He never made a move on her? Nail60 (1:26:29 AM): He kissed her like... three times er so? Nail60 (1:26:44 AM): But they never made out like she probably hoped. Nail60 (1:26:49 AM): I don't think. LilpupLRH (1:27:44 AM): no way. LilpupLRH (1:27:49 AM): So that's why she was so ******** pissed LilpupLRH (1:28:03 AM): She was resenting me because he could make a move on me but not on her LilpupLRH (1:28:07 AM): It wasn;t even about me Nail60 (1:27:34 AM): hey, they never said this to me. XD this is what i just now concluded. Nail60 (1:28:41 AM): That also explains why she wasn't pissed at ben at all. Even though he did just as much as you did in that he was making out with her best friend a week after getting dumped. LilpupLRH (1:29:35 AM): Two weeeks. Nail60 (1:29:03 AM): Wow... it was two weeks... Nail60 (1:29:06 AM): that's so sad. Nail60 (1:29:12 AM): pathetic LilpupLRH (1:30:29 AM): What, that we made out after only two weeks or that she freaked the ******** out after two whole weeks Nail60 (1:30:12 AM): yeah. that she freaked out after two whole weeks LilpupLRH (1:31:08 AM): And SHE dumped HIM Nail60 (1:30:41 AM): Yeah. Because she wanted more than he was giving. Nail60 (1:31:04 AM): Which is extremely shallow but enyone would do that. so I won't accuse her. LilpupLRH (1:32:37 AM): Nah, I mean, in her situation i'd have done the same LilpupLRH (1:32:43 AM): that so explains why she still hates me LilpupLRH (1:32:53 AM): Because she STILL resents me for it LilpupLRH (1:32:58 AM): hot damn this makes so much sense Nail60 (1:32:25 AM): and for other things probably. Nail60 (1:32:31 AM): Yeah it does. Nail60 (1:32:33 AM): Wow LilpupLRH (1:33:21 AM): Other things like what? Nail60 (1:32:39 AM): I'm smart. XD Nail60 (1:34:12 AM): I dunno, things that may of may not be arguable. Maybe you talents she make think you have stronger ones. Maybe she thinks you've been more succesfull at things and casting you out from her group is like a win for her. Many things. I think she shares many of your fears. LilpupLRH (1:35:26 AM): I feel kind of bad LilpupLRH (1:35:40 AM): Like, for her. I never meant for her to feel inadequate Nail60 (1:35:03 AM): Lol Nail60 (1:35:30 AM): Don't feel bad over that. People get over these things. SHe smart she be fine. LilpupLRH (1:36:30 AM): Did you hear that she's transferring to Atherton next year? Nail60 (1:36:06 AM): No. That seems sorta lame. Nail60 (1:36:19 AM): Have you thought about it though? LilpupLRH (1:37:09 AM): No. LilpupLRH (1:37:11 AM): Not anymore Nail60 (1:36:29 AM): Cool Nail60 (1:36:59 AM): You could still transfer magnets if she fel that VA really was a waist of time for you. Nail60 (1:37:09 AM): *you felt like it LilpupLRH (1:38:07 AM): I don't know. I kind of feel like it's my ticket into college. LilpupLRH (1:38:26 AM): Like, I don't want to be an artist, but it's one thing I'm pretty good at Nail60 (1:38:04 AM): Your smart though. And you do a lot. You'll get into so many colleges. Nail60 (1:38:59 AM): Being socialy active and having a lot of big things to put on your ressume or essays is very important. LilpupLRH (1:40:33 AM): I think we're doing a good job Nail60 (1:40:06 AM): Hm? Me? At what? Doing things? Nail60 (1:40:54 AM): I need to do more than I am if I want to get into an IV legue like cornell er something. LilpupLRH (1:42:00 AM): I can so get you into volunteer work s**t if you need it LilpupLRH (1:42:06 AM): I do too much LilpupLRH (1:42:08 AM): OH guess what Nail60 (1:41:37 AM): What? Nail60 (1:43:08 AM): ... LilpupLRH (1:44:06 AM): I'm shadowing a psychologist at the state penetentiary Nail60 (1:43:41 AM): That's so awesome!!! Nail60 (1:43:46 AM): When? LilpupLRH (1:45:33 AM): Some time soon, probably January LilpupLRH (1:45:46 AM): I'm so excited Nail60 (1:45:47 AM): Coolio. XP LilpupLRH (1:48:25 AM): yesyesyes. LilpupLRH (1:48:28 AM): So yeah. LilpupLRH (1:48:35 AM): I decided I want to go to Standford. Nail60 (1:48:37 AM): Which one is that again? LilpupLRH (1:49:30 AM): California Nail60 (1:48:54 AM): lol LilpupLRH (1:49:40 AM): not old enough to be ivy league but tuition is aout the same Nail60 (1:49:03 AM): happy you. XD Nail60 (1:49:27 AM): get a full scholorship. ^_^ LilpupLRH (1:50:52 AM): Haaaa. LilpupLRH (1:50:57 AM): Fat chance but I can try LilpupLRH (1:51:03 AM): Too bad I lost my 4.0 already Nail60 (1:50:28 AM): I think you could get a pretty big one. Nail60 (1:50:46 AM): 4.0 is stupid you know? Nail60 (1:51:22 AM): I onlu got one all through middle school. Now I'm having trouble keeping above a 3.5 Nail60 (1:51:24 AM): Oh... Nail60 (1:51:31 AM): and how did you fail geometry? LilpupLRH (1:52:24 AM): I didn't fail, I got a B+ Nail60 (1:51:44 AM): lol LilpupLRH (1:52:28 AM): but I was afraid of failing LilpupLRH (1:52:30 AM): as usual Nail60 (1:52:11 AM): shut up then. XD 3.9 is still amazing. LilpupLRH (1:53:08 AM): nononoono hahhaha LilpupLRH (1:53:10 AM): I think I got a B in science too LilpupLRH (1:53:21 AM): because I was seriously like .03 away from an A LilpupLRH (1:53:28 AM): such bullshit LilpupLRH (1:53:44 AM): art classes aced, I don't know what I did in espanol LilpupLRH (1:53:53 AM): english A LilpupLRH (1:54:04 AM): I should have an A in spanish but I never know Nail60 (1:53:25 AM): I got like... 2 B's 4 a's and a c I think... Nail60 (1:53:41 AM): sPANISH MESSES WITH ME AS WELL... Nail60 (1:53:54 AM): I don't know how her grading works. Nail60 (1:54:54 AM): .3 away from an A id rounded up just so you know. Nail60 (1:54:59 AM): normally... Nail60 (1:55:02 AM): XD LilpupLRH (1:55:49 AM): Yeah, I know. LilpupLRH (1:55:56 AM): But i'm not sure what she does. LilpupLRH (1:56:05 AM): she knows I busted my a** all semester Nail60 (1:55:22 AM): SHe's not that crqazy Nail60 (1:55:30 AM): though LilpupLRH (1:57:49 AM): god I hope not LilpupLRH (1:59:49 AM): Waitwaitwait LilpupLRH (1:59:55 AM): okay not to backtrack here LilpupLRH (2:00:04 AM): but if thats why Adrian and all of them hate me LilpupLRH (2:00:07 AM): what's Ben's excuse? Nail60 (2:00:19 AM): lol he's a fallower sometimes. LilpupLRH (2:01:17 AM): Maybe so but that doesn't explain LilpupLRH (2:01:27 AM): 1. Why he could make a move on me and not Adrian LilpupLRH (2:01:35 AM): or 2. Why he still hates me to this very day Nail60 (2:02:34 AM): Becuase you cheered him on and she never tried. She made it all up tio him as if she wasn't allowed to do anything. She actualy were like letas do this. And he doesn't hate you I don't think. The only excuse i her from him is, "Dude, look who she astarted hanging out with..." LilpupLRH (2:04:07 AM): Funny thing is, those drug addicts are better friends than anyone I used to hang out with, with the singular exception of you. Nail60 (2:03:59 AM): lol LilpupLRH (2:04:46 AM): I actually find them to be less ******** up. Nail60 (2:04:04 AM): That's and yeah. LilpupLRH (2:04:54 AM): But that doesn't leave this conversation Nail60 (2:04:13 AM): *thanks LilpupLRH (2:05:13 AM): Thanks for backing me up. LilpupLRH (2:05:32 AM): I'll just never understand Ben's part in this whole thing Nail60 (2:05:06 AM): I don't get it yet Ither. Nail60 (2:05:09 AM): e LilpupLRH (2:07:02 AM): Not to vent on you LilpupLRH (2:07:09 AM): but I feel like...used Nail60 (2:06:33 AM): By me? Nail60 (2:06:39 AM): err... LilpupLRH (2:07:25 AM): nonononono. LilpupLRH (2:07:27 AM): by him Nail60 (2:06:45 AM): lol Nail60 (2:06:47 AM): sorry Nail60 (2:07:03 AM): I don't think he had any intention of using youy. Nail60 (2:07:37 AM): He definatly didn't plan on throwing you out after one night like that. Nail60 (2:07:55 AM): He blinds himself to make himself feel better about his life. LilpupLRH (2:08:56 AM): It sure as hell felt like some hormonal fix LilpupLRH (2:09:04 AM): like he never had any feelings for me at all LilpupLRH (2:09:19 AM): like I was just...disposable Nail60 (2:09:00 AM): Maybe, but he said he loved you, but it apperently was just a fase. We all have them. LilpupLRH (2:10:05 AM): I don't want to be a phase. LilpupLRH (2:10:20 AM): I didn't see myself as a phase. Nail60 (2:09:40 AM): love was the pfase Nail60 (2:09:47 AM): *phase Nail60 (2:09:49 AM): not you LilpupLRH (2:10:52 AM): I hope not. LilpupLRH (2:11:08 AM): Love isn't a phase. Nail60 (2:10:39 AM): You of all people should under stand hoe the human mind works at times like these. ^_^ LilpupLRH (2:11:33 AM): I do. LilpupLRH (2:11:39 AM): its just hardto putout of the way LilpupLRH (2:11:46 AM): the way I feel about things Nail60 (2:11:11 AM): Love can be an illusion crated by hormones. So you were right. Nail60 (2:11:31 AM): It's scientific really. Nail60 (2:11:57 AM): Love is in fact a chemical we release. All emotions are. this is basic. LilpupLRH (2:13:03 AM): So it's reasonable to miss that. Nail60 (2:12:21 AM): You sometime can and sometimes can controll those chemicals. Nail60 (2:12:37 AM): *can't LilpupLRH (2:13:34 AM): I mean, love's a chemical. And it makes sense to miss the chemical LilpupLRH (2:13:39 AM): I miss how I felt Nail60 (2:13:12 AM): yeah. Just like happiness. Nail60 (2:13:43 AM): There are drugs that help people release these chemicals in large amounts. that what most of them are. Nail60 (2:14:08 AM): That's why we get addicted to them and love the even though you know they could kill you. LilpupLRH (2:15:07 AM): It felt like remission, hah. LilpupLRH (2:15:16 AM): After being hung out to dry like that Nail60 (2:14:39 AM): What does that mean... XD Nail60 (2:14:45 AM): remission Nail60 (2:14:50 AM): sorry LilpupLRH (2:15:36 AM): Like, I felt like an addict that didn't get their drugs anymore Nail60 (2:14:59 AM): lol Nail60 (2:16:08 AM): But after having quite for over a few mounths of less depending on how addicted you are you can normally get over it no mater what. But you can still rember it was good even though you can remember the exact feeling correct? LilpupLRH (2:17:11 AM): I mean, I still miss the feeling LilpupLRH (2:17:24 AM): I do remember exactly how it was Nail60 (2:16:55 AM): Would you want it with him again? LilpupLRH (2:17:41 AM): Like, I can never tell if I miss Ben or just how I felt during that time LilpupLRH (2:17:49 AM): I don't know Nail60 (2:17:11 AM): oh. LilpupLRH (2:18:04 AM): I want it again period LilpupLRH (2:18:10 AM): He's just the familliar option Nail60 (2:18:09 AM): You remember to well. XD You should look for it with someone other than him. LilpupLRH (2:18:59 AM): But the Ben I see now is a different person than the Ben I used to know Nail60 (2:18:37 AM): even if he did suddenly want you again she should reject and take the longer road. Nail60 (2:18:48 AM): *-*you LilpupLRH (2:19:38 AM): Hah, I don't know what I'd do LilpupLRH (2:19:48 AM): I probably would want to sort s**t out first LilpupLRH (2:19:54 AM): Like, what the ******** happened last year Nail60 (2:19:16 AM): Yeah... Nail60 (2:20:00 AM): I remember when you looked at me last you when you were about to cry and I couldn't take it so i turned away. LilpupLRH (2:21:02 AM): When? LilpupLRH (2:21:06 AM): Like, specifically Nail60 (2:20:49 AM): Just after Alew M. has been cheered pod to call you a whore. Nail60 (2:21:37 AM): you had your hands on my shoulder and asked me why this was happening. LilpupLRH (2:22:45 AM): I didn't understand Nail60 (2:22:17 AM): i didn't either so I didn't know what to do. LilpupLRH (2:23:14 AM): You did exactly what you should have done Nail60 (2:22:53 AM): I feel like i should have huged you or something. LilpupLRH (2:23:53 AM): Hey, it doesnt matter now Nail60 (2:23:14 AM): Lol Nail60 (2:23:16 AM): Yeah LilpupLRH (2:24:12 AM): You sticking with me meant more to me than anything you could have done Nail60 (2:23:52 AM): Thanks and your welcome LilpupLRH (2:24:52 AM): God, it was so ******** up LilpupLRH (2:25:03 AM): The strongest most intense pain I've ever felt LilpupLRH (2:25:14 AM): It sounds petty and I hate myself for it Nail60 (2:24:34 AM): Is it that hard to forget? LilpupLRH (2:25:37 AM): Just the supreme sense of abandonment Nail60 (2:25:12 AM): naked crying in the rain LilpupLRH (2:26:04 AM): Not to sound pathetic, I know it shouldn't affect me LilpupLRH (2:26:19 AM): but what that group has done to my self esteem over the last four years is profound Nail60 (2:26:55 AM): I think don't you you self esteem has shown as much change as I expected is would have. I remember you in 6th grade. You've only improved sense then. LilpupLRH (2:28:02 AM): Yes, my social skills have greatly improved LilpupLRH (2:28:07 AM): But my ego suffered Nail60 (2:27:35 AM): I think your fine LilpupLRH (2:28:27 AM): Hahahah, I hope so. Nail60 (2:28:15 AM): I don't see any scratche and this Xray shows no broken bones. ^_^ Go make a difference. Nail60 (2:28:17 AM): XP Nail60 (2:28:22 AM): sorry for the cheese LilpupLRH (2:29:10 AM): hahahahahaha, LilpupLRH (2:29:13 AM): god LilpupLRH (2:29:31 AM): Seriously though LilpupLRH (2:29:38 AM): What the hell is upwith Ben this year? Nail60 (2:29:39 AM): Hm? I don't have any way to talk to him or watch him except the bus. I don't see much change. Tell me. LilpupLRH (2:30:35 AM): maybe it's just to me LilpupLRH (2:30:43 AM): but it goes back and forth, constantly LilpupLRH (2:30:50 AM): like, occasionally very friendly LilpupLRH (2:31:06 AM): occasionally, referencing last year in the good period LilpupLRH (2:31:15 AM): but then he can be a cynical little b***h Nail60 (2:30:42 AM): That's ben XD Nail60 (2:30:48 AM): Don't worry about him. LilpupLRH (2:31:36 AM): Not even in an appealing way! LilpupLRH (2:31:47 AM): Just in an oh shut the ******** up for once kind of way Nail60 (2:31:05 AM): lol Nail60 (2:31:13 AM): yeah LilpupLRH (2:32:08 AM): Last year, at least his problems were interesting and he wasn't such a damn downer Nail60 (2:31:47 AM): I know exactly. I have sense i met hime third grade. He hasn't changedbn that much. LilpupLRH (2:32:43 AM): Now it's like if you say something, he'll just be like "Who are you talking to." and if you tell him, he'll just say something like "Okay." Like you're some kind of freak show Nail60 (2:32:14 AM): You just became smarter than he is. LilpupLRH (2:33:07 AM): Thank you, thank you. Nail60 (2:32:40 AM): I did you. Nail60 (2:32:52 AM): I can hardly talk to him on the same level. Nail60 (2:33:57 AM): He's not enteresting anymore. He thinks he's cool but I can't seem to see eye to eye with him. It's looking down now. Even though i used to look up. But he hasn't changed.' LilpupLRH (2:35:02 AM): I think that's why you're so much better than he is. LilpupLRH (2:35:29 AM): You recognize other needs other than your own. You are tuned into reality. You've grown up enough to see that seriously, the world does NOT revolve around you. LilpupLRH (2:35:50 AM): Ben, I think he's still in that stage that's like he doesn't understand how to deal with anyone else LilpupLRH (2:35:56 AM): Or their feelings Nail60 (2:35:19 AM): Yeah. I see LilpupLRH (2:36:07 AM): I dont think he's grown up enough to even care, really Nail60 (2:35:31 AM): So maybe he will catch back up someday. LilpupLRH (2:36:28 AM): Assuming his parents didnt permanently ******** him up Nail60 (2:35:59 AM): Maybe I'll be able to talk to him the way we use to when we were equal. Nail60 (2:36:07 AM): yeah Nail60 (2:36:10 AM): your right. Nail60 (2:37:02 AM): I can't wait for him to totally rebel. XD Nail60 (2:38:13 AM): Haha, new record on how late I've stayed up talking to you i think. LilpupLRH (2:39:09 AM): Hahah, yeah. LilpupLRH (2:39:18 AM): Yeah it's been like two hours now LilpupLRH (2:39:28 AM): This would be more efficient on the phone, I think LilpupLRH (2:39:36 AM): We should try that sometime in our lives Nail60 (2:39:13 AM): Really? I don't think that would give as much time ti think or as much room for review. Nail60 (2:39:24 AM): But we should still try Nail60 (2:39:52 AM): I mean I can still type at a decent speed. LilpupLRH (2:43:05 AM): I can type quickly too LilpupLRH (2:43:06 AM): ahah LilpupLRH (2:43:13 AM): as effective as it is Nail60 (2:42:34 AM): hihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihi LilpupLRH (2:43:19 AM): change is nice sometimes Nail60 (2:42:37 AM): XD Nail60 (2:42:42 AM): XP Nail60 (2:43:31 AM): I like trying to hit as many repeating kyes as possib;e so they do thing like thqan when you hold them all down. it's cool. XP Nail60 (2:43:37 AM): adgadgadgadgadgadgadgadgadgadgadgadgadgadgadgadgadgadgadgadgadgadgadgadgadgadgadgadgadgadgadgadgadgadgadgadgadgadgadgadg Nail60 (2:43:39 AM): three Nail60 (2:44:19 AM): ggggggggggggggggggfofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgooooooooooooooooooffffffffffffgrggggggggggggggggggffrrrrrrrrrrrrrgrfrfrfrfrfrfrfrfrfrfrfrfrfrfrfrfrfrfrfrfrfrfrfrfrfrfrfrfrfrfrfrfrfrfrfg Nail60 (2:44:20 AM): ... LilpupLRH (2:45:07 AM): sdflkjsdflkjsdflkjsdflkjsdflkjsdflkjsdflkjsdflkjsdflkjsdflkjsdflkjsdfkljsdflkjsdflkjsdflkj LilpupLRH (2:45:09 AM): hahahh! SIX Nail60 (2:44:28 AM): I'm trying to do frog. XP LilpupLRH (2:45:29 AM): gfrfrgfrgfrggfgfrggfrof LilpupLRH (2:45:31 AM): I fail LilpupLRH (2:45:36 AM): hahah Nail60 (2:45:10 AM): This kye board won't do four Nail60 (2:45:30 AM): fgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgo... fog? Nail60 (2:46:07 AM): fgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgofgo gaaaaah! Nail60 (2:46:09 AM): Anyway Nail60 (2:46:10 AM): XP Nail60 (2:47:32 AM): Well Olivia wants to out stay up late me so i'll go ag=head and let her win that and say good night. LilpupLRH (2:48:29 AM): whaaaat Nail60 (2:47:51 AM): Eh? Nail60 (2:48:00 AM): *ahead Nail60 (2:48:02 AM): ? LilpupLRH (2:49:09 AM): I'm confused Nail60 (2:48:37 AM): about? LilpupLRH (2:49:21 AM): clarify what is happening Nail60 (2:48:48 AM): I'm going to bed? Nail60 (2:48:50 AM): lol Nail60 (2:48:54 AM): tired there?' LilpupLRH (2:49:37 AM): fuuuuck LilpupLRH (2:49:40 AM): yeah LilpupLRH (2:49:44 AM): I guess I should too LilpupLRH (2:49:45 AM): hah Nail60 (2:49:08 AM): good night then. XD LilpupLRH (2:49:56 AM): but seriously we ought to try the phone thing sometime Nail60 (2:49:17 AM): ok. LilpupLRH (2:50:01 AM): later, Sebrand Nail60 (2:49:24 AM): Later Leah Nail60 (2:50:12 AM): ha I just copied this conversation and it took a few seconds to load. XP LilpupLRH (2:51:13 AM): Hah, where are you putting it? Nail60 (2:50:54 AM): gaia. No one that cares will read it there. ^_^ Nail60 (2:51:05 AM): And I don't exactly publisize my journal. LilpupLRH (2:51:59 AM): It's cool. Nail60 (2:51:25 AM): ok then. Good night. LilpupLRH (2:52:15 AM): Niiiight. LilpupLRH (2:52:21 AM): And, thanks LilpupLRH (2:52:32 AM): You're good at clearing things up Nail60 (2:51:52 AM): thank you as well. Nail60 (2:52:04 AM): you are good at helping me crear things up Nail60 (2:52:36 AM): I wouldn't mind working for you some day. LilpupLRH (2:53:26 AM): Hahahah. LilpupLRH (2:53:39 AM): Hey, I'd work with you some day. Nail60 (2:53:21 AM): Yeah. XD For real now. good night. XP LilpupLRH (2:54:17 AM): Good niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
Na!l · Sat Dec 29, 2007 @ 05:41am · 2 Comments |
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