What’s on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement?
I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
Help me to be pure, but not yet.
I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.
I’m kidding about having only a few dollars. I might have a few dollars more.
Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
I like children – fried.
I was taught housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house.
For your information, I would like to ask a question.
I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m schizophrenic, and so am I.
I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.
God did not intend religion to be an exercise club.
I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
I like marriage. The idea.
Never raise your hand to your children – it leaves your midsection unprotected.
I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
Be able to go shopping for a bathing suit and not become depressed afterward.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
Help me to be pure, but not yet.
I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.
I’m kidding about having only a few dollars. I might have a few dollars more.
Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
I like children – fried.
I was taught housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house.
For your information, I would like to ask a question.
I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m schizophrenic, and so am I.
I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.
God did not intend religion to be an exercise club.
I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
I like marriage. The idea.
Never raise your hand to your children – it leaves your midsection unprotected.
I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
Be able to go shopping for a bathing suit and not become depressed afterward.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
There is a vast world of work out there in this country, where at least 111 million people are employed in this country alone - many or whom are bored out of their minds. All day long.
Being busy does not always mean real work. The object of all work is production or accomplishment and to either of these ends there must be forethought, system, planning, intelligence, and honest purpose, as well as perspiration. Seeming to do is not doing.
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
Be regular and orderly in your life, so that you may be violent and original in your work.
You have to work with what you have to work with.
Being busy does not always mean real work. The object of all work is production or accomplishment and to either of these ends there must be forethought, system, planning, intelligence, and honest purpose, as well as perspiration. Seeming to do is not doing.
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
Be regular and orderly in your life, so that you may be violent and original in your work.
You have to work with what you have to work with.
Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.
Common sense is not so common.
Common sense is not so common.
I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities.
When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory.
Community Member
lol
I intend on living forever as well. xd
This whole poem like thingy is nice.
heart