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MERZBOW - HERE

Counting the 20 unreleased albums from the 50-CD Merzbox, and most of his cassettes from the 80s, HERE is Merzbow's 175th full-length album.

No seriously, get off the computer, wash your face, check your eyesight, and read that s**t again.

HERE is Merzbow's ONE-HUNDRED-SEVENTY-FIFTH FULL-LENGTH ALBUM. Or 182nd. Or 210th. Or whatever, he's put out at least 100 more albums than just about every other band or artist, really. Seriously, I was expecting the album count to be in the 300 mark. And all of it being extremely limited and nothing but harsh, grating, ear-wrenching analogue and computerized ARTISTIC NOISE. Which is all to support his love of animals and asian women in bondage. Hell, he even put out a MERZCEDES, a custom Ford car that plays only Merzbow, limited ONE COPY.

But those are his other 174 albums, not HERE. HERE struck me as more than just the average "******** my EARS!" type of album. It seemed to grab my imagination. Take for one, the title track, which fades in with some oddly spacey noise and by the 4-minute mark it hits. A low, rumbling, downtuned STAMPEDE. Suddenly you feel like you're in the middle, as if you were dangling on a telephone pole or something, hearing every bit of noisy chaos above you and god knows what plowing below you, ready to trample anything in it's path. The "music" stops and it becomes an endurance test, a fight for survival. I swear somewhere in this I heard a vocal or two creeped in, but it seemed caught in the mess, kinda like when Mufasa died in the Lion King.

The second track, Torikabutu, isn't much different as it's 25 minutes of harsh, unpredictable noise. No rhythm, boogie, rhyme, upbeat feel, or even lyrics! Just what feels like a factory that processes parts, though each part is being done different, then eventually coming together to form something only to break it down and dismantle it moments later. Just a loop of endless mangling, but it feels like one little mangled bit creeps out in the end, breaking the cycle because, you know, songs can't go on for 37 days.

The last (and shortest) track, Pigeon Sea, has to be the perfect follow-up to that Boris & Merzbow cover of "I Am The Walrus". It's a total bass-explosion and insane breakdown, just like the end of that cover. 8 minutes of pure, visceral noise that refuses to let up until it's inevitable fade.

Listening to this god of noise for some is a challenge or a chore (I am by no means a fan, really.) but still, this album, with a bit of dark imagination, is surprisingly decent. But calling it tame (Or worse yet, saying the 175th time was the charm.) would be insane, and would no doubt provoke something far more unbearable.

Should you buy it if you can get it? Yeah, why not. It'll no doubt be that "dark horse" album in your catalogue.

8/10

Acid Mothers Temple & The Melting Pariaso UFO - Recurring Dream and Apocalypse of Darkness

Acid Mothers Temple & The Melting Pariaso UFO's new album "Recurring Dream and Apocalypse of Darkness" is the bands 28th album, and a dire sign of the blue balls. Losing yet another female vocalist, they are once again a sausage-fest (Acid Mothers Temple and the Beligerent Sausage-Fest. You know you'd buy an album with that name on it!) and bringing forth what has to be their darkest, most riff-driven release imaginable.

The first song, Eternal Incantation Or Perpetual Nightmare, is a 37-minute blast into many directions. Total hippie s**t with a dark twist. It drones on for 9 minutes before exploding into this retro jam with Kawabata's trademark shredder solos. Tsuyama Atsushi does sing on this track....actually it's more like chanting in fear and despair, with almost a cult feel. The 2LP version of this tune drags out the jam for what seems like 37 years and sounds right at home with AMT & the Cosmic Inferno but replace fatty with a hippie.

As for the second title track, this song has to be Godzilla experiencing blue balls and putting it to music. Could you imagine Godzilla thrashing through Tokyo not because he's fighting some other monster or that he woke up from a nuclear hangover but he had BLUE BALLS under that charcoal grey skin. ********!

Seriously. Except the noisy drone bit at the last five minutes (Or 5 million on the LP), it's just a riff that crushes on forever. Tsuyama sets the basic drive and the other three go all around it. Higashi dicks around the electronics, Shimura drums like a latino-asian madman, and Kawabata....well, he's Kawabata. It plods liek the monster it is, and maintains a disturbing consistency among all the madness surrounding it. Plus there's no vocals so it, in a way, sounds kinda like Sunn O))) on LSD. Calling it dark and drone-like almost sounds gimmicky, but it's a big change of pace for this band, and only fitting as they've had some shitty years behind them.

Overall, what's the verdict? Buy it on CD? Buy it on 2LP? Buy both then sell the 2LP on EBay because it dosen't really have any bonus tracks (Shhh.....that's OUR little secret readers!)? I'd say do buy the CD if you like AMT or any dark music that's drawn out millions of years. Buy the 2LP if you're a whore. It's the best they've put out in a while I do admit, but if you're feeling skeptical at first when you see the creepy industrial art, then chances are you should put it back on the shelf...

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And then pick it back up and buy the ******** immediatley! Seriously, this album IS worth it compared to the other s**t thry've put out in the past 2 or 3 years, and is far more engaging than ANYTHING they did with Kitagawa Hao! I recommend it.

8/10

Brant Bjork - Punk Rock Guilt

Another year, another Brant release. Last year, he put out two albums (Tres Dias, followed by Somera Sol, followed by Duna Records going under.) that were honestly decent, but seriously lacking whatever was needed to keep the desert groove going. I blame the gas prices. And Jesus.

Anyways, this is the fabled "New Jersey Sessions" first mentioned back in 2005. And god, this album couldn't have been put out a better time! It has to be THE best BB album since Jalamanta, which I'm sure is something most Brant BJork fans really want to say because, you know, Jalamanta is his Scumdogs. It can't be compared to....PRICELESS. Like this album, where he actually drums again for a change.

s**t, forget calling him Brant Bjork, call him Brant RAMONE. This is the West Coast Ramones I've been looking for! We've got a bunch of other ones...examples?

New York Ramones? RAMONES!

British Ramones? MOTORHEAD!

Japanese Ramones? GUITAR WOLF!

New Jersey Ramones cover band? MISFITS!

And now we got what sounds like the Ramones in the desert smoking dirty mexican weed, drinkin' tequila, and dragging out their songs more than 3 1/2 seconds. The chords, the sound, everything in this record gives off that feel. The album actually starts off on a familiar note, with the song LION ONE, which is a punkier take on "Right Time" from "Tres Dias". One thing I notice is his voice has gotten so much better now that he actually sings. Age has done you the best, my man. And the awesomely cheesy lyrics have never been more prominent.

Next up is Chinarosa....whoops I mean DOCTOR SPECIAL. I guess Brant loves this song a bunch because this is the THIRD time in a row it's appeared on an album. Only this time it's real groovy and a little rougher around the edges.

Punk Rock Guilt's a new one, and really fuels the fire for the album. Really catchy rhythm and rough lyricism, this song has. The next tune is a nice little wah-wah groove number called "Shocked By The Static"....actually, it's "This Place (Just Ain't Our Place)". Really, the only real flaw is the album's tracklist is all ******** up.

Anyways, this is Brant in a rare form. Keeping you smilin' and groovin' from start to finish, even with two TEN-MINUTE numbers (One is a bonus track, Lion Wings from Somera Sol without the sax). Hell, the sixth and seventh tracks would fit right at home on Jalamanta with the somber, yet funky sound. And you got lyrics like "Spaceman finds a cold beer, it's been such a weird trip".

I dunno, but as far as albums to kick back to in the hot sun, this is THE album to pick up. It glides along and keeps the pace from start to lengthy finish. It's also without a doubt the best Brant Bjork album to come out in a while, which makes me very, very happy.

9/10

Keiji Haino and Yoshida Tatsuya - UHRFASUDHASDD

This was a surprise. Apparently for 2007, Haino and Yoshida bumped heads once again not just once, but twice! Two years ago the album "New Rap" came out and it was insane. Yoshida being a human octopus for a drummer while Haino ******** wailed (both on guitar AND voz). It was truly something unique, a killer blend of avant-garde and insane improv. It sounded right at home with a Keiji Haino release.

This album, Uhrfasudhasdd, is ******** wacky. At times it feels home with Haino, mostly Ruins, even at time Boredoms. It even boasts the gimmick of studio time, which implies that all underground Jap artists make albums in their own houses (Case in point, every Merzbow album is recorded in BEDROOM) There's no real consistency to be found. Just 16 tracks of avant-garde gone disturbingly conventional. Actually, there is one constant on this album. WEIRD SONG TITLES! Take a look.

1 Ryufoispjekkossd (5:41)
2 Dhoidvophkjiff (2:46)
3 Ruhndfhiooak (3:22)
4 Gheuebhessip (2:52)
5 Fsjoppofgu (2:22)
6 Utygghjgpoidpswb (2:06)
7 Lokskooidgiif (3:42)
8 Cchjdisoiugpodf (3:49)
9 Ddjbifpgorkh (1:56)
10 Eeyddllvioss (2:10)
11 Oodiffipoawhull (2:43)
12 Zhuddiposddhk (4:19)
13 Ruhfjidfpokf (1:55)
14 Thuguigodssphiff (2:34)
15 Fiuijkdfgpokwom (3:24)
16 Mkdoiajadih (4:35)

Don't deny it, these are gonna be total hit songs of the year, along with the HAino track "Becoming Visible... This Joy Of Being Able To Touch The End Of Everything "

Okay, seriously. This album introduces with a dark harmonic track that altars between bittersweet acoustics and Haino's soft side to noise and Haino, well, being Haino. The funny thing is while Haino is prominent on this track, he only sings on this and three other cuts. It's all Yoshida otherwise, which is fun because he's got the goofiest singing voice and fits the music just a bit more. The next track, having no vocals, loops samples of intstrumentals non-stop. This looping is done often on the album, and can be a big ******** to the average listener.

So far, my favorite tracks have to be the third one with it's evil rhythm (Yes! It has rhythm! UNBELIEVABLE!), track seven that altars between energetic fiery drumming and Yoshida totally letting loose with vocal skills, track nine which sounds like avant-garde hillbilly music, and track 12, a murky tribal groove with eerie vocals.

That's the best thing about this album is it's versatility. It's two guys culminating various genres with their own avant-garde twist if not outright improvising. Being a fan of both Haino and Ruins, the album delivered just fine for me, but even better is there's anouther album with sixteen more crazy cuts recorded at the same time out! More the merrier, perhaps?

10/10