So, yeah, I haven't been on Gaia in a really long time, so when I got to my journals and rants and stuff...hahahahahahaha.
I miss the times where life was that easy. I just want to punch the scrotum of however made my life shitty. My dad doesn't give a ******** anymore, I can't seem to please everyone, people who judge me only accuse me of judging them, and my life is just so ******** up right now.
I really wish that I could just go back to when my parents were first getting divorced. Back then they were fighting for my attention. Now it seems like my mother is the only one who cares. My dad doesn't even pay that much attention. He sponsors like, five kids in Africa, but won't supply his own daughter with her needs, claiming that he pays for all of it in child support, therefore, my mom should pay it. A) He only pays 2/3 of child support, and still has to pay for the other 1/3 of the time. B) I wouldn't be so mad if it was just kids in Africa, but he sends $40 a month to a stinkin radio station. What the ********!
Then there's the whole me going nowhere. I work my a** off and it does me nothing. I get really pissed off especially when nobody even notices progress. It's been getting better, and people are actually noticing that I may have potential to do anything. But now it's still with my dad. I'm progressing in everything and everyone is noticing but him. He just says that I sit on my lazy a** all day when he isn't doing much better to make sure I get taken care of. Example: I had to be at my school at five. It's a thirty minute drive to my school. He only remembers that I need to eat at 4:27 that I haven't eaten yet. He also forgot that my drama show was starting and decided to plan a family event. And he always ******** supports the professions that I don't want to do and wordlessly dejects everything that I see myself doing for the rest of my life.
So yeah, I think I'd rather complain about politics, a divorce, religion, my friend's ex-boyfriend, and all that other s**t that I felt I just HAD to talk about. Now I spend all the time yelling at my dad and people who never even did anything. I have serious mental issues, and I actually prefer my mom's boyfriend to my real dad. I've given up many of the things I love just because memories involved my dad and I always second-guess my actions because I'm scared that they won't take me anywhere. I miss taking risks, but I can't bring myself to start taking them again...
Why the hell does life have to be a b***h?
No one's a virgin because life ******** us all.
Beautifullyforgetful Community Member 
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