I can't help it I tried to but it's just so hard. It's a dangerous habbit that I just can'y break. I take the razor and run it acrosss my wrist. I watch as the crimson flows and smile at. I sit down on that bed and listen to my music. I make those cuts and those scars and feel calm and stressed. I'm calm because just to see my blood has an effect. I'm so stressed because I know I'm insane. What makes everything worse is that I.Feel.No.Pain. I pray to God but that doesn't stop the craving. I don't want to do it anymore but I.Just.Can't.Stop. It's something that I love but I know I.Should.Not. What if I make a mistake and no one is around? I could end life right there and waht would make it worse is that it was a mistake. Truley I do not care if I live or die, But to die as a mistake just doesn't seem right. My death shall only be when I feel there is no way I can live on or ever feel happy. This addiction. It should be broken. Nothing good will come out of it. No accident should happen,especially not my suicide.
kawaiivampirecatgirl · Tue Jun 03, 2008 @ 03:11pm · 1 Comments |