Instead of doing the usual schtick of putting out five or six albums in a year, they twisted it around. Put out one album in like, five different versions...with singles! And put the music video on MTV! And, And...and even put out a best-of collection! It's almost like they're selling out! And the band themselves said it was a joke to sell out and piss off fans!
If this album was s**t, people would boycott this band.
But the album isn't s**t (They're saving that one for next year!) , it's SMILE! And here's a review compilation of all the junk they put out related to this album. Notably, besides the Rock Dream vinyl and Altar picture disc, it's all been SMILE all year round!
SMILE (Japanese Version/Jap 2LP Version)
This is the inital release, with the yellow heart for the album cover and the rumors of a 400G Yellow Vinyl that only herculean furries would dare touch.
If the first words coming out of your mouth aren't "What the ********!?", then it will be when you hear the actual music and compare it to other boris. This is an album. It has music. I know, unbelievable!
This album, produced by You Ishihara, shows a more jokey side to Boris than anything. Message, being the first track, sounds like the intro to SOUL TRAIN with that drum machine and those train-like "Woo-Hoo"'s! Well, if Soul Train was catered to third-rate Japanese rock bands and not hip-hop & R&B. Goofiness aside, I need to give the honest critique of this track.
This song is ******** DOPE. It grooves on with that beat until a wanky solo kicks in. And then the vocals only set it further. They are hands-down the fruitiest thign I have ever heard come out of this band. Plus the whole dance re-mix beat crunching apart only sets the madness further!
And from there on, it's a bit of regular followed by a total trip. Buzz-IN (About the MELVINS DVD) and You Put Up Your Umbrella are about as close to other Boris as this will manage. But besides that, it's all madness. Guitars that are noise-manipulate to sound like chainsaws, marshamllow drums retarded lyricism, samples of older songs, baby gibberish, acoustics, and Joe. And all this s**t's just in two songs! It borders on early Boredoms but a little more stuck up the a**.
It does feel consistent in all the jumpy madness, and it flows really well, and he sense of variety is a bit fresh coming from all this variety in one release rather than say, five-to-ten. Plus the guests make good use of themselves. Michio Kurihara (Now official tour guitarist) really adds a big psychadelic flair to this band, and plays more coherently than on Rainbow. Stephen O'Malley contributes a riff to Untitled, which well, isn't too noticable when you factor in the sample from VEIN and the warm, almost suspicious sound of the tune.
Honestly, as an album it's really good. There isn't a bad track to be found on it as there's a bit of rock, a bit of drone/ambient, stuff for everyone! Asa Boris album, it's probably the best in years, as it almost goes back to when they jumped genres literally every release to ******** with people who classify the genre of this band.
All-in-all the only real flaw with this release is that it's hellishly overpriced, and all the versions of it will be a ******** to collectors, nevermind the different audios for the versions? What, you mean us american folk get different s**t? Yes, but that's another review. Just enjoy your 30-dollar import and shut it. It's wank and it rules.
6/7
SMILE (American Version)
Okay, so February got the Japanese edition of Smile, quite possibly the most bizarre release Boris has done. Now, mixing it up for those Southern Lord kids, they take these eight songs and add a much-needed dose of ROCK. Well, as much as you can rock somber, poppy numbers like "My Neighbour Satan" and "Flower, Sun, Rain". But the rest? JAGGED-a** RAWK!
The prime examples being Laser Beam, Statement, Untitled, and No Ones Grieve. Laser Beam (In jap-land it's called SHOOT!) was originally a purely-digital mass of noise and bizarre drums. Now it's this thunderous drumming number with ******** GRIND in the guitars! The transition is nothing short of phenomenal. They even took out most of the acoustic part to throw right into Statement. Remember that funk groove song called Message. Now it ROCKS. ROCKS IN THE BUTT. And you can barely hear Wata at all! Just Atsuo and his howling like a goofball atop all this Orange-Amplified rock! And the fruit vocals are still there, making it seem so out-of-character. If they wanted to make a joke album, they hit the nail on the head with this track.
No Ones Grieve (Dead Destination on JP) was originally on their album "The thing Which Solomon Overlooked 2" as "No Ones Grieve Part 2", an explosive, messy number that is only flawed by abysmal sound quality. Thankfully, Boris produced this and make it sound even more palatable and definitive (And somehow fitting to an album it wasn't recorded in the same sessions with). Plus the vocals add on to it! It makes the songs from TTWSOL and Vein songs come off as demo instrumentals for later use.
You Were Holding An Umbrella may be the opus of both albums, however. A humble, harmonic piece with some typical Jap lyrics that builds into a monstrous, powerful form with loud bass and blooming guitars. Some people almost describe it as a condensed Flood. Untitled tacks right with it, almost extending it and now O'Malley's riff crushes just about everything else.
As fun as the Japanese version is, this album has it's merits, and it's a hell of a lot of fun to compare the two apart. Though some tracks sound relatively the same (My Neighbour Satan/Next Saturn, BUZZ-IN), they are clearly two different beasts. The american on it's own is a solid rock album and hands down the best rock album they've put out since Heavy Rocks. Essential for people who want a rock album with a tinge of inaccessibility for an indie feel.
6/7
SMILE (American Promo Version)
Basically, copy and paste the American review, but remove the paragraph about the Umbrella song, because they left it out on purpose, honestly believing they could bullshit people into believing no one has ever heard this song. EVER.
Basically, Southern Lord left out the best tune on the whole album, nprobably as a response to Altar getting leaked so far in advance, which no doubt caused Greg Anderson to have a ******** heart attack.
Ever heard of samplers? No? Go figure. Thanks for being stupid about your promotion, folks.
1/7
SMILE (American 2LP version)
But even a stupid promo and pitiful promoting, the 2LP is totally forgivable in all this, even if people get suckered into buying this solely for the "bonuses". Didn't you guys learn from PINK? Or do you like the idea of a bonus being two minutes of extra noise in a song?
First off, I want to say I got this on black vinyl (The best route for any people listening this way) and it sounds fantastic. Statement is fine. BUZZ-IN is fine. Laser Beam was born to be on vinyl! It sounds fantastic! And what's left of the acoustics is gone!
Then there's bonus track one, VEIN. Basically track seven from Vein is remixed with this sixty's funk bass, some sound effects, the actual song playing in the background, and ATSUO SCREAMING!
YEAH! c** ON! WOOOOOOO! AUUUUUUGHHHHH!!!!
In a nutshell, VEIN sounds like a bizarre cross of Track 7 and Ivixor B/Phase Inducer with Atsuo giving a stellar review of his own song.
Okay, Side B is My Neighbour Satan and No Ones Grieve. No Ones is even better, and Satan is remixed with more effects and trippier solo-ing! FUN!
SIDE C? An extended cut of Flower, SUn, Rain which kinda melds both versions of it together for a ten-minute adventure in 70s japanese psychadelia.
Umbrella? You already know, especially if you read the last review?
Then there's the bonus track, After Me. It's basically the acoustic bit from the Japanese Smile, so it'd only be worth it if you didn't hear that version (Which you have, so therefore it's laughable.)
Then Untitled is now missing the Vein sample and the riff crushes for twenty-something minutes. AWESOME.
Even if this review is shaky, I must say the 2LP is the definitive buy, especially if you're budgeting between what version to get. It gives the American version plus a little bit of the japanese for a sweet deal at twenty bucks. Plus if you went black, you won't go back.
For a refund, that is.
7/7
STATEMENT 7"
TWO WHOLE SONGS.
First is Statement, a total butt-rocker with loud, wangy solos and the most fruitiest vocalizations, save for Wata's distant whispering during the "Laughing, Laughing, la-le-lu-le-la-lo" part. It's an awesome transition to the initial japanese take. From Soul Train to Arena Rock Tour Bus, it's Boris!
Floor Shaker is a killer B-Side, real upbeat and catchy in all it's sound. Wata even sings on it (LIEK OMG).
5/7
MESSAGE 12"
TWO WHOLE DANCE RE-MIX SONGS.
Dance re-mixes of the super-duper-dope-a-licious MESSAGE and that b-side FLOOR SHAKER. While MEssage is simply re-arranged where the crunchiness comes first, Floor Shaker is the real deal for techno dancing goofiness. It's 3 minutes longer than the rock version and seems to drag a bit, but it's kooky and fun. Definitely for fanatics and re-mix whores!
4/7
CHOICE CUTS (The Drop-Card)
It's supposed to be a best-of of sorts (For the Southern Lord releases, anyway.), with the following tracklisting:
1. "Hama" 7:31
2. "Akuma No Uta" 4:01
3. "Ibitsu" 3:22
4. "Pink" 4:20
5. "Farewell" 7:33
6. "The Sinking Belle (Blue Sheep)" 7:38
7. "Rainbow (Live 10-16-2007 @ Echoplex, LA with Michio Kurihara)" 5:09
8. "You Were Holding An Umbrella (Live 10-16-2007 @ Echoplex, LA with Michio Kurihara)" 11:16
Realistically, it's not worth it except for the live tracks. Plus if they really did a best of, then where's the s**t from Heavy Rocks, Rainbow, Feedbacker, Flood, and all their other albums? Hmm?
2/7
THE MUSIC VIDEO BONUS DISC (2CD Edition of Smile)
Mainly features the videos for the following:
Statement (Which is hilariously cheesy and probably cost about ten dollars to make.)
My Neighbor Satan (Which is minimalist and retarded, and probably cost five dollars to make.)
PINK (Which is very pink and rare.)
Not exactly worth shelling out the extra cash for this, sadly. Boris + video seldom ever mix very well.
3/7
Overall, it's good. But I think the most hilarious part of all this is just for this album, they go balls-out trying their hardest into bullshitting people to buy this as much as they can. Have you seen Greg Anderson or Enju try so ******** hard to promote Boris? And why? Usually, Boris releases just pop up with zero hype whatsoever and they'd sell out. Case-in-point, LIVE ARCHIVES. Just pops up and in three hours, 600 copies are sold.
Seriously, they could promote the album like this and it'd sell copies.
NEW BORIS! WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
You know I'm on to something, ladies and gentlemen. I just loooove being on things. Like you Boris fans loooove being on those skate decks they sold on one of those tours.
I love this band. They're so ridiculous.
