Okay I"m sorry everyone but today is gonna be one of those days where I sit and b***h about people. Cause I get in moods sometimes where people really get on my nerves. Well u see I"m a unique person. I have depression and am a totall spazz on top of that so I see things differently than a lot of other people do.
But omg I'm so ticked right now. LIke there different types of people in my life that just get fed up with me and what I do and the way I handle stuff. LIke they thhink that I"m doing dumb stuff and that I'm trying to be a dumbass and stuff. But they let what I"m going through define me. I can seroiiusly imagine people going behind my back that's the guy with problems, oh gosh lets just move on without him. Now there are many people out there that try and do an amazing job with me and just everyone in general in terms of supporting them, thanks.
What I hate though is those people that really let depression and you're problems define who you are. "Ur not a fun person ur a depressed person. " that's dumb. no u have to see that person as a fun person goiing through depressing times.
But there have been people taht while I've been depressed as I've tried to get every last bit of support out of them have sort of shyed away. they've gotten frustrated. and i understand that, believe it or not i've been there to. But here's the thing when u see someone go through a problem u see the tip of the iceberg, and when u get frustrated with that just imagine what the person that has that problem is going through.
Lets say someone else is going through an alcohol addiction. And u get frustrated cause they seem to be drinking when they've already told you 20 times that they wouldn't. Ur frustrated but so are they, and they have probably told themselves not to drink 100 times. Don't think that they're not trying or doing what they can. Ur not fighting there battles, how can you know how hard it is.
OH back to the first thought. I've seen with a lot of people and again this is only natural. That when they lean on you extra hard for someone that really believes in them that you will naturally sorta slide off. Noone wants to really have to support someone else in their problems, a lot of times people just do it to say they're friends. So you essentially say I want space, I want space from that person that has problems. That person that I'm defining as depressed, he's no fun he's a depressed person.
But what happens when that person gets better. Than what. Will u still want space? Or will you want to be close to them like a real friend. But if u don't realy believe in them. Than.. why would they want to be friends with you? you didn't believe in them enough to stick with it, cause if you did you would have seen the light at the end of the tunnel and have told them to keep going and than given them a kick in the rear.
I recently was sitting somewhere with someone. And I told them, before u wanted some space, last month u didn't wanna hang out, now u do? what;s up with that. And they said that u weren't as much fun than. Well way to go, cause that's no good.
It gfoes along with one of my other motto's. "If ur not my friend when (insert person here) is around than why the hell would i wanna be your friend when they're not." And this is very similar. "If ur not my friend when I am (insert emotion here) why would I wanna be you're friend when I"m happy and doing well. Than what.
But this is not an attack on someone or anything. This is just me and my mad ranting. If you don't understand it all thats cause ur normal.
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Crazy b***h..
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