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Ok! Quick recap:
Since I posted last, I'm more than half way through the semester, I turned 21 (yay!) and I've pretty much been shuffling on through life. By the way, I quit my job at the office the week of my birthday. Not only did Niku san and Toni chan leave, but eventually, Wiberu sempai left too, and I was really, REALLY bored and lonely. And to top it all off, I just couldn't stand Anato san continuously telling me how much I sucked at my job when half of the time it felt like it wasn't my fault at all. But actually, he was right. I was never cut out for a job where I have to be pushy in order to make a profit and succeed. Everyone else was awesome at it, but ever since the summer started winding down and the office lost more and more energy, I just got so sick and tired of it. It was time for a change. Even my mom decided that it was a good decision for me to leave. I just couldn't work under those circumstances any longer. I hate selling things; it's not me.
So yeah, I turned 21, and I had a pretty awesome party. I got a tattoo! It's a paupau fruit. It's so adorable! That was a pretty fun experience.
Let's see... what else...
I've been passively looking for a job since then, but with no luck. I worry that if I do find a job, it might take away from time I have to study... which is kind of a load of crap since I haven't really been studying as much as I should. But it's really been taking a toll on me lately. I have all these unexpected expenses that arise... I flat out forgot to pay my rent this month and they charged me $40 in friggin' late fees! I went to a concert with my roommate for her birthday; another $40, I baked her a cake, $25, a few drinks at the club where the concert took place (and a trip to CityWalk the next day) about ANOTHER $40... and that's just in the past week! Not to mention my tattoo put me in the hole $80 (but that was, like, the day after I quit). Let's see, I registered late for an independent study course; that cost me about $100, which I still haven't paid; and now I have a hold on my school account so I can't even register for spring classes until I pay it! And what's worse, my dad even gave me money to pay off that fee, but what with the late rent fee and all this birthday crap, I kinda spent it all. I really don't wanna tell my parents about this, even though they're the only ones who can help me right now, simply because they specifically said "Don't forget to pay your rent! We can't afford late fees!" *slaps forehead* This is NOT good. I'm in a real pickle and I can't seem to find a way out of it. My only option right now is to get a job, but they are really hard to come by, especially during this time of year. I don't even have any gas in my car! Fortunately, the prices have been plummeting lately. I think in order to save myself from... foreclosure on my car... is just to stay home and not do anything until I cover the funds to pay off that class registration fee... and fight like hell to get a job. Even if it means going back to... Publix... ew.
And that's just in addition to what's been happening to me lately. The past few days I've been feeling kinda sad ever since Laura's birthday celebration. Not because of the financial difficulties, but just because of the fact that she and this guy we've been hanging out with hit it off so well that I instantly feel like a third wheel around them, even though I'd been invited. Come to find out, he asked her out the other day. Don't get me wrong, that's wonderful! They're great for each other! It's just that on top of the fact that I've been feeling distanced this whole weekend, now I feel like I'll be even more removed from the picture. I feel kinda jealous; you'd think I had a crush on her of something.
It's kind of ironic. Everyone's always telling me how awesome and beautiful and sexy I am (not that she isn't all of the above as well; she is!) and this whole situation only makes me see my beauty as a curse. There hasn't been one guy for miles around who's even been the least bit interested in me after hanging out a few times and getting to know me. It's usually "Hi! We just met. You're hot. Can I get your number?" I just wish that more guys would stick around to see my inner beauty as well as my attractiveness. It takes me forever to fall head-over-heels for someone. And nine times out of ten, they're not even that good-looking. It's because I had a good, long time to see who they were inside. And of course, the one guy who's absolutely GORGEOUS inside and out had to a) be in Gainesville and b) not have any interest in me whatsoever. (prob'ly 'cause I'm black... figures. crying )
I think I've depressed myself enough to make up for the whole two months that I haven't posted anything. I'm gonna go to sleep now. I have class tomorrow. See ya.
 Lexa2071 · Wed Nov 12, 2008 @ 05:11am · 0 Comments |
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