Im back to writing in my journal again. Today was a good day for me.
I got to speek with jessica for an hour and a half, and i learned a lot of stuff about her that i didnt know. It made me think even more highly of her. For instance i didnt know that she was having weight problems when she was younger, it was quite a surprise to me. She is just like me... really. I know that she is my soul mate. I know it for a fact. I just wish i could communicate my feelings to her. It seems that i say things that i dont mean cause im really nervous when i talk to her. I want to be just like her. I wish i was. she is so perfect, like an angel. she says that she wished she was beautifull, and it happened. I dont think that is how it happened. In her mind i think that she believes that it worked so it made her gain confidence which in turn made her more likely to get with someone. I could talk to her for hours, but i know that she has a lot of stuff to do and all.
I cant wait till i come and see her. I am thinking about changing the color of my hair, and buying some clothing. I dont know, i want her to like me but i dont want her to think that i am doing it just to get her to like me even though i am. I would dress any way that she wanted me too. She also has ESP. YAY! im so happy cause i do to. I hope that i can teach her how to use her powers effeciently cause i know that there still in tact. But the question is controlling mine. I still dont have them quiet under control yet. She even believes the same exact about religion, I would have said the same exact thing !!!! I never knew that we were so much alike. I want to marry her one day... and i want children... yes it would be awesome. I can just see it. We would never fight, we would agree on everything and we would love each other. I f only that where the case. It worrys me cause she is really seriouse about school and stuff. I dont know if i am even going to graduate!
On the flip side i made a bad decision as well. I hit alli cause he poured water all over me, and i was about to beat him up. I feel bad, cause i should not have done that. I will apologize to him tommorow and mayby we will hang out this week end. I have been on the edge lately, I have been so worried about jessica that sometimes i do things that i dont mean to. I now know tha ti still need to work on self control, there was no excuse for hitting someone. So i still dont have perfect self control.
I will work on it. I worked really hard last night and i am writing a love letter to jessica. I never knew that writing one took a lot of thought involved. i have to incorporate my feelings into words that sound really good. I hope that one day i will give it to her. I hope that her boyfriend doesnt get back together with her. I she seems so much happier. I know that he will hurt her again.
 whitexsorcerer · Wed Oct 19, 2005 @ 04:19am · 0 Comments |
