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that is spanish female form for "Sick" (male form has an O not A at the end)
I am sick...and its irritating me...ugh.. sick in so many ******** forms.

Been weak like hell, insanly irritated, and moderatly getting suicidal thoughts. Which is somethign that tends to happen everytime that i feel so...weak and pathetic...
Right now i just wan to bang my head on the metal things outside, and get something to cut, bleed, and take some sort of ******** pill or whatever that will calm me the ******** down...
i stroke my hair lightly with my fingers and a bunch of hair ends up falling out, my mom says its stress, i say, i'm going to go bald before i'm 20 evil
i feel so much...errr...i dont even know... my head hurts, vision blurs, just feeling so depressed.
My mom is driving me mad, she just got here and is screaming for random stupid s**t....hate when she does this...
if i still had nails i'd claw them into my face and pull down...
there is a feel to need to hurtmyself, btu for so many reason i refuse to do so. so now, my body is getting so....>.>....
i'm sick, i'm sick, ******** sick of just being so, so... errr.... what am i....am making tight move with my hands...and so my blood pressure goes higher and just i'm just... ******** ******** ******** ******** ******** ******** ********.....
i need to cry to someone and just be...i dont know...be seen for?....god i dont ******** know... i am so scared of hurting anyone else... alreaty hurt who knows how many people...one of htem beign very super important to me...
i'm such a damn ******** up, i'm goign to be one. it to damn hard to do this, to damn hard to know, to be , to just... gah, oadhsf;jughaerui9vgdjksvnjhag;uvfn;ufhg ....
crying ......what's going on with me these past weeks....why arent i the same as before.
HERE, as in were i am sitting, i only have the company of three tiny dogs that have been following me around a lot latly and sleeping on my face at night...-_-... aside from them only one other person is caring enough to listen to me is, well we all know already, Jamal.(an di thank him a lot for listening to wha ti'm telling him...)
bhagrero;gn;urgh;jvn ghrugnd;slkgj;fouahgeruobny;swhbyitg
this woman is driving mad and is goign to push me to do what i refuse to do... my dad alreayd had to ask her to shut her mouth, and since she didnt he just left...
its not good to stay home to rest from school a day if all you hear is your father telling you you are a bad kid for not staying in school and always getting sick. hell! incase he didnt notice, when heparked infront of the shop, he had to ******** help me out of the car and practicly cary me cause i was too weak at the time to do so on my own! i need my damn medicines!!!!!!

;jlagnae;tovhubo0aeugnt.s,jdfhoaunv.wleu5280ry n dcn




******** ******** ******** fck ********.... this woman is just makign it worse...i need to block her out some how... crying crying crying crying crying .....

dear mom...
shut the ******** up....stop insulting me and my father for your ******** mistakes...