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It's what I think should be scribbled with orange ink.


Xx Brave-Leo xX
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3 comments
Does anyone actually read this?
--<--<-@


No one reads this.
But thats awkay.

.::Sigh::.

Dear Journal,
I can't believe I actually trusted myself. I trusted myself to be happy. I should have learned from the first time. That mistake I made with my first true love. I guess I just made some mistakes in the words what I've said. I cannot believe I actually did that. I lied to him, and I expected him to forgive me.
Well, what can I do? Its okay. I was never the best person for him, and I guess he wasen't the best for me.
But y'know, I found someone that I've always had right by my side. I thought he woulden't love me after me lieing to him too. But I told him the truth, and he loved me, like he always had. I figured out that I love him a lot too, and not just because I want to, and not just because he forgave me in an instant. I think its because I was with him before, and I've always had those secret feelings for him.
Jeez, I don't know.
I miss talking to the other. The other that's broken my heart before. But I broke his, too. I miss him. I miss laughing with him, and I miss how he would make me sound like a smart idiot all of the time. I remember when we were only friends.. Thats what I miss. I wish I could talk to him like nothing ever happened. Like we were never together. Like we could just forget the past. He's one of my closest friends, yet he hates me.

I've realized something in the past few months. "When you go out with someone, your making a big choice. When you consider someone, you might fall in love with them. Once you fall in love, its like your whole world changes When you talk to that special someone, your heart races. But.. Then sometime's theres that one word nobody wants to feel. Heartbreak. Once you've been in love, or heartbroken, there's no way to go back in time.No way to be that one person you were when you were 5. Right before it all ever happened. You open the door to love, and there's no way of turning back. No way to pretend its ever happened. No way to ever get rid of those feelings you held in your heart, and kept close to you. Try to push them away, try to hold them close. Do whatever you want, because there's no going back. Wheather you want to or not, if you fall in love, it can turn out bad. But then again, when that person loves you back, this new door opens for you. You can be happy. You can let the other people see that smile on your face. Other's can notice the change in your attitude, and love in your heart means that you have love throughout your body."

--

I don't know sometimes. I don't know if I can be happy. So many people may call me a pessimist. Go ahead, I don't care. 'Cause I know that whenever I get happy, it turns into sadness. It happened. I'm in love with someone, and I was happy the past few days.. But.. Now there's a huge conflict in my life. [Not saying.]
And then I wonder, "why is God doing this to me?"
I believe in fate.
I believe my life is planned.
I go as planned, whether I like it or not.

That's it.
Over.
Just..like that?

Sometime's its just the..way things work.

-Leo-

|M|y|C|h|e|m|i|c|a|l|R|o|m|a|n|c|e|
|T|h|e|U|s|e|d|

<3

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User Comments: [3]
X.x Bloody Tears x.X
Community Member
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comment Commented on: Tue Feb 28, 2006 @ 10:31pm
Jeez, you have one ******** up relationship..lol just playin
Look, If you mis coughoshjacough so much I think you should tell him. I know you love coughauncacough a lot but if you miss the "other one" so much just tell him. Just let him know that you miss him. You don't have to say anymore then "I miss you" You do have to tell him anything huge and emotional such as "I love you" or anything like that.
As for couchauncacough I don't know xP Your together with him so..that should be good enough xP


comment Commented on: Sat Mar 25, 2006 @ 02:43am
I'm so sorry.
I've felt like that before too.
But life will go on, and everything will turn out right.
You may not see it right now, but God has planned it for your future.
~Hugs~
I'm here if you need to talk.



Algun Dia
Community Member
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Spike61892
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comment Commented on: Thu Apr 13, 2006 @ 03:37am
we all know that our lives suck in many ways, some of our lifes suck more than others, we also know what happens when you face your first major heartbreak, it hurts soo freaking much it just makes you want to give up on love, people, family, and sometimes even life, but we must all keep going even though if we think its impossible, i know this cause happens to me very often you think you have found the right one then they go and turn around and exploit something about you and its just brings you down, heartbreak is starting to become often in most teens cause guys are becoming all about sex, i know i know i just made fun of my own gender but im not like that so ya.., and it messes up so many relationships but they cant be trusted and they dont deserve your pitty all they deserve is either ur friendship or your hate, well i know im discrascing myself but im not like that, but as i have heard from many people "guys cant live with them, cant live without them" its what makes the world go round, also heartbreaks have made me so close to emtionless that i barely even feel it anymore, i can barely even love anymore, i cant even cry,laugh, or smile, without actually trying to


User Comments: [3]
 
 
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