The accident keeps me awake at night. I try to do other things and get it off my mind... But it's really starting to effect my health. I don't get nearly as much sleep as I need. Every time I close my eyes, I am flipping in that car again and again and again. I start shaking when I drive now. My breathing gets all skippy and hed starts to hurt Sometimes even my vision gets a little blurry. I want to cry all the time now.
I keep hearing voices I see shadows from the corner of my eye but when i look there is nothing my chest gets this sharp pain on the right side I look down at my hands and I dont feel like i am looking at myself, i feel like i am looking at another persons hands
When I look in the mirror I see a girl who only wants to stop, lay on the ground, and cry until her eyes are dry. Sob until her voice is gone, and bleed until she passes out.
I try to distract myself.
I have Michael. Landon. My parents. Broth and sister, grandparents... but I don't have Tori.
I want to go back and change countless things
But most of all I just want a good nights sleep and be able to wake up and smile. I want to forgive myself for everything I have done I want to re-gain the strength I once had, but am now with out
I don't know how I lost it or where it went but I want it back.
xX sunshine rAiNbOw Xx · Thu May 17, 2012 @ 07:01am · 0 Comments |