Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

I am a whiner. I don't want to be a whiner. I hear myself whine and I cringe. But I don't know how to stop being a whiner.

My dad is okay, but he mostly lets us shift for ourselves. My sibs are okay, but they are always doing things and I end up whining about them and everybody ignores me, or else they tell me I am whining and how unattractive it is. "Wah, wah, wah"

So how do I stop whining? I've tried not whining out loud and I don't do it very much but the whining still goes on inside my head.

I got up and I was glad because they had left some bread so I could have breakfast. But then I saw that there was no milk so I can't have tea or anything. All I get to drink is water and there is no way to have cereal. So in my head I am whining. "Why didn't they leave me enough milk to make a cup of teaaaa? Now I don't get to have a good breakfast before I have to go to claaaassss. I don't want to have bread with just waaaater."

How do I stop whining??

What I think is that I wish I had a mother - what I mean by a mother is not the bio person that gave birth to me since she is around somewhere but just not able to take care of me. I want to have someone in my life who mothers me and makes sure I have some milk so I can have tea and tells my sibs to leave me alone and stuff like that. But of course I don't have a mother person and most people in the world don't because most people are grown ups and don't have one and I am nearly a grown up and I don't need one.

It seems to me that sibs are basically competitive. Right? They want to get more resources than you so it is in their interests to drink a lot of milk if they want to and not remember or care if you don't get any. And father persons don't mother you. They make important decisions and they bring in resources but they don't care about little things, like not having milk. They just buy coffee at the Tims if they don't find milk. If you have problems they tell you to go solve them. Like, if I whined at my Dad that I had no clean clothes he would just tell me to go away and do laundry. Right? And there is nothing wrong with this, it is just a different set of interactions, not the very protective stuff that mothers do.

My problem is that I even think like that, that I want a mother. That's where the whining begins. If I thought differently, and made nothing out of little things like not having milk I would be okay. But I've still got those thoughts and I don't know how to change them.