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DarkGaurdian
Upon my journey through out gaia my time spent has been a glorious chaotic keep sake. We all share our ups an downs some more than others. Being apart of those few whom like to keep things to themselves this site has managed to open me up a little, and help me understand that the world itself has many burdens to bare. An some times the weight dose need to be lifted from time to time. Well this just so happens to be one of those times. Being on gaia for longer than I can remember my thoughts have gathered to the horrific findings that I've come to acknowledge. For I've always considered the fact that a demon resided with in me now I know for certain it dose. How else would I come to such a universally cataclysmic epidemic. My dreams haunt me, and my reality though relieve me at the same time. One night I can be covered in the blood of all those I love, and cherish. An the other I can be held in such a high esteem living peacefully among them. Though as my thoughts emerge more, and more I feel corrupted no tainted no.... compelled to take action toward these thoughts. Battling this demon won't be easier though I feel content all at the same time as if no matter what happens i'll find what ever it is i'm looking for in life. My only regret is that I couldn't take hold of what was right in front of me when I had the chance.... before it all walked away, and I had to make such a drastic change. Now the only conclusions I see for myself is acting upon my inflicted thoughts of mass maham, or some how outlasting this mind blowing struggle of seclusion, and silence in order to find a light at the end of this dark an terrifying tunnel. Though my mind filled with endless agonizing ways to punish myself , and all those that cross me I intend on facing this demon head on by eradicating him from the inside out as he's done to me for so long. Through the horrors of life my past present, and future. Soon enough I will take grasp of it all, and squeeze this beast until it suffocates under my grip. First by getting my own job then a car after that a life of my own. Then I will be met only by new demons. Will I have the energy to linger on as I have so far I do not know. All I can do is keep moving forward, and hope that what ever lies at the end of this road grants me with something that will some how make up for this voyage. This life I never asked for this.... this.... insignificant meaningless heart aching agonizing existence that has been inflicted upon me by an entity of which I have no desire in knowing. Only to know him to cause him as much misery as he's put me through. For when I parish, and if I meet my maker I will make him suffer for his inability to help me understand why I was put here, and why such inexcusable acts have been places against me. Along with how many few disgressional moments I was granted. I'll make it known to him if he doesn't already know how demeaning he's created my existence. He could have helped me that night my life had changed when I asked him what was to be done. He gave me no sign no moment of realization nor did he give me any perspective of what would be soon after I had made my choice. Note I say he only in means of which what we've come to know our creator as not because of what I believe the creator is. For I truly do not know what, or whom the creator may be. Though I do know what I wish to inflict upon the entity.... all my pain... all my anger simply poured though out his very essence. I want it to know what the meaning of suffering truly fills like an if it already dose then I hope it takes every last bit of mine in, and feels every ounce. I wish to show it as little mercy as it's shown to me, and the rest of us forced to be here. The uncertainty of life as we know it the missing link to all knowledge.Also with that which where faced with the brutalization we inflict upon ourselves an others in order to achieve whatever it is we wish to. The sins men, and women have made all for nothing, or perhaps something. Weather were simply pawns to move about on a board of enlightenment, or actually hold a purpose means no difference just so as long as the creator fills what I wish to condone upon that ridicules unrelenting b*****d.


[img:b7caa8e8a9]http://i314.photobucket.com/albums/ll433/dracula6101/Symbols/Michael-1.jpg[/img:b7caa8e8a9]

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Post Permanent Link DarkGuardian5924 · Sat May 11, 2013 @ 04:44am · 0 Comments
DarkGuardian5924
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DarkGuardian5924
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