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I've been back for a while now. A lot of things have happened within this break but let's put that in a different story. Today I wanna write about something that may or may not need clarification, for anyone who may or may not wanna be friends with me.
Yesterday I was talking to an old online friend of mine on gaia who I found yesterday had taken the extreme step of unfriending me and blocking me on facebook. Let me add that by old, I don't mean that I was talking to her after 2 years lol. We exchange messages every now and then, the most recent being towards the start of this month. Anyways, I'm a guy who finds it unsettling to be blocked and especially when I don't know the reason. When confronted, she just said that I thrived on drama. There was a lot more to that convo but I'm not gonna go into that. My entry for today is about drama.
In this world there are two kinds of people, those who get involved in drama and those who don't. I'd like to think that I'm one of the latter but that's not always the case. I can be quite dramatic. I mean, I did write school plays back in high school so, my flair for drama might be quite high lol. But nope, it really isn't.
Drama is a sign of emotion. I being an engineer, I have to keep a level head most of the time (try being emotional and solving engineering problems lol). In fact, I tend to take life really lightly and mostly on a humorous side. Under level headed situations, I can turn even mundane situations humorous. Now the thing is, like I said, drama is a sign of emotion. If you're able to mentally hurt me enough to make me let go of all the shackles I have on my emotional side...that's when you get drama from my side. And believe me, it takes a lot of get out my emotional side. Especially, in real life, you can pick on me all you want and I'm just gonna stare at you straight in the face and laugh, because the face of a person who's trying to be dramatic and trying to let my emotional side out is infact really very funny.
For me irl, drama only happens within my family and that too, I'm not a direct party to those situations. In fact, I even laughed at that drama. I
Online, I'm kinda more vulnerable to drama lol. It's cuz I can't see the faces. Anyways, again, I don't directly participate in the drama except when somehow I manage to take sides among friends who do stir up drama. Was common when I played online games.
Relationships are another place where I can get dramatic. Always happens when I'm on the losing side though. I have an ego that gets hurt whenever something bad happens to me. Well I can say, I'm getting better at controlling that side of me though from (completely screaming at a girl about a girl and mopey after) to just getting mopey and yeah saying a few things while moping. And they all happen at the end of relationships. Yeah, I don't take rejection very well. Like getting cheated on, or being dumped for someone else. I mean, I get break ups. s**t happens. I dislike people disrespecting what I had put efforts in, even if they don't work out. You can disrespect me if you want, but if you disrespect something I put my efforts and sweat in, you're about to get a nice emotional verbal whooping on the a**. My mind just snaps then, and I will say things, bad things that I'd regret later for overdoing it but yeah, I do snap. I've successfully learnt to control it to a good extent but you're still gonna hear enough, that you probably deserve to hear.
My emotional responses are only human. And I accept that part of me. If someone betrays me, I expect to go down with a fight. But again, it's temporary as well. I rage and that's it end of story. It's not gonna be like, I'll come at your balcony every night at 8:00 pm to rage thingy lol. Get betrayed, rage back at them, and move on. Simple as that. Someone's gotta tell them that it's not okay, and if a rage won't, I don't know what will
DrNadi91 · Wed Jun 11, 2014 @ 05:08am · 0 Comments |
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