The Story Story
By
Laura Laubacher & Lia Mensinger
Prolog
One day when she was bored, a girl went to the park to walk along the river. Just as she was about to go home, finding the river boring, (she had walked along it like this many times before) she noticed an abandoned boat. She was curious and questioned her courage as she stepped into the boat and sat down. Being extremely absentminded, she failed to notice the enormous holes in the boat as she slid herself into the water (assuming the boat was originally on land) and began sinking. Soon, she felt the cold water pooling around her feet. She grabbed the nearest paddle (there were two paddles) and began desperately rowing toward the shore, but the sinking boat was caught in the current. She grabbed a branch extending over the river and scrambled onto the shore on the other side of the river. A man came out of the forest to the riverbank and screamed, what have you done to my boat?!? He continued to scream at the girl, and as he stopped and stood there panting, complete hatred in his eyes, he collapsed. The girls mind was racing, the man was dead - he had had a heart attack. He must have been a hobo, or drug attic, or an alcoholic, or all three, she thought to her self.
She looked around, and thought for what seemed the thousandth time, how much greener this side of the river was. As she stared into the thick forest before her, she had a strong urge to go deeper into the woods, just as she had felt when she saw the boat. She couldnt resist, and walked on, absentmindedly taking the mans backpack and looking through it. As she expected, she found empty beer bottles, half empty beer bottles, and full beer bottles, in addition to a pack of cigarettes and a wallet. When she looked through the wallet, she discovered that his name had been Jack, that he had a criminal record, and had been to anger management (however you discover that by looking in a wallet.) She threw the backpack into the river and continued walking.
The forest was a world of green, there were so many plants! It was amazing! But, after a while, she got tired and hungry, so she sat down on a moss covered stump to rest. However, after only a few minutes, she heard the leaves around her rustling, and out came little people, only about three feet tall. The little people sniffed her clothes and their eyes grew wide. Shes the one! She killed Jack! All hail the messiah! The girl was mesmerized as dozens, no, thousands, of the little elf-sprite dudes came out of the bushes. All hail the messiah! the chanted in a buzz that greatly resembled the little green army dudes in toy story. They gave her some cheese. Cheese is considered a great delicacy in our kingdom
Um thanks, she said as she took a small piece of cheese and nibbled it. They were all staring at her. She felt uncomfortable, and tried to think of something to say. Take me to your leader she commanded authoritivly.
As you wish, messiah.
They began to lead her through the bushes. At times she almost lost them in the vegetation, so she fallowed their humming, which had an oddly similar tune to God save the Queen.*
So why did you hate Jack so much? she asked the lead elf-sprite dude who was sitting behind a desk with a plaque. A very long plaque that read Timothy-Bob Mundungus C Esquire IV she wasnt paying attention at first though, because she was quite mesmerized by the sign but snapped into attention as soon as Timothy-Bob Mundungus C Esquire IV handed her a book documenting Jacks time in his land. Jack seemed to have spent all his time fumbling through the forest drunkenly (ruining the scenery) and passed out in the town square (which disturbed the general population.) With the occasional vandalism, of course. Our sacred beliefs passed down to us from our ancestors state that any visitor who has not killed one of our own will not be hurt by us, and therefore must be eliminated by an outsider. Its a good thing you came when you did we were about to have to hire an assassin
Oh, well, thats lucky she answered so, where do the other elf sprites live, and what do you call yourselves?
Every one but me lives in the trees explained Timothy-Bob Mundungus C Esquire IV, and we are called the Dwarf-Chipmunks. Not that were dwarves or chipmunks, thats just our tribe, or clan as you humans might sayI think were more what you call the little people, believed to have originated in Ireland
OKMay I see the Dwarf-Chipmunk homes? Well, youre a bit big, but I think youll fit in the town meeting place. As they walked along another small winding path, he further explained. We weave narrow branches like baskets and rub tree sap on them to make them waterproof for our buildings. The Dwarf-Chipmunks are the only little people who live in homes made this way.
Very interesting she told him as she admired the town hall. (Timothy-Bob Mundungus C Esquire IVs office-home was very near the meeting place, so the walk was short) Well, Ive been gone for hours.
Hours? asked Timothy-Bob Mundungus C Esquire IV. He took a pocket watch out of his yellow corduroy waist coat. Its only 12:30 surely you can stay for an hour long feast in your name and a short ceremony to become an official friend of the tribe?
So she stayed an hour longer and joined in their merrymaking, but had to leave after that. As she was going, she told them that they mustnt dispose of jacks body. Their response was very unconvincing. (An o...k) Unfortunately, she was late and didnt notice. As she skipped along the path home, she looked across the river to the Dwarf-Chipmunk side. In plain sight was jacks body. She hoped they would move it soon. She continued to skip home. A minute later she passed an old lady going in the opposite direction. Then she got home, ate some ice-cream, watched T.V., and went to bed.
The next morning, her mom thrust the news-paper under her nose. MURDER ON THE RIVER! read the headline, and underneath Ruth Morel, age 98, was taking a walk along the river when she saw a body on the other side. She did not have a cell phone, but was carrying a camera, so took a picture of the body and went to the local police station. When the police got to the river, the body had been moved. Investigations continue, but so far, the only suspect is a girl seen leaving the scene of the crime by Morel. The girl has yet to be identified. There she stopped reading and glanced at the picture. It showed Jack, a dagger in his chest, and a lot of blood. She ran to the river, swam across the river in a rage. (Dont know what happened to the current she was in a rage) she spotted a Dwarf-Chipmunk and demanded why the HELL did you put a dagger in his chest!?!
We thought youre people consider a violent death to be more honorable. With that, the Dwarf-Chipmunk disappeared into the undergrowth, and a police officer jumped out of the bushes and grabbed her. The Dwarf-Chipmunks may as well of melted into the forest, for all the good that they would do her. She knew violence was not the answer. Not caring, she spread her first two fingers out and nailed the police officer in the eyes. She squirmed out of the polices grip and yelled I didnt stab him! He had had a heart attack! The Dwarf-chipmunks did that because they think death in battle is more honorable! she began to run. Unfortunately, as previously mentioned, they had vanished. She decided to go back to the police and calmly tell them her story.
And so, half an hour later, and then, after one of them told me they thought death in battle was more honorable, they all went back into the woods, and you wont find them because theyre small and really good at hiding!
Yeah, whatever was all the police officer bothered to say as he rolled his eyes. After taking her back to the police station and further questioning, they then decided that she probably hadnt killed Jack, but were sure she had lied to them, and she hit a police. So, to prison (and later anger management) she went.
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I say what I think, thats all. I do think quite a lot though.
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mimiono
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