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Through The Eyes Of The Patient
Melina Hallaway: Sophia Carmen's Background
Oh my god, this girl wanted to request to be Sophia, so I had her post a sample. This is what I got. I'm probably going to work this into my book; I really like the idea of her background. It's completely awesome. I knew making my book into an RP was a good idea. ^_^

Fried Tree
The Census Bureau was one of the most well kept, and elegant buildings on all of A Street. The crowded city of Washington, DC was overly-crowded this morning and the rank smell of pollution and rotten hotdogs was in the air. Sophia Carmen walked up the old stone steps of the Bureau in straight lines, kicking the cigarette buds to sides of the railings. The air was a bit cold that morning, so her short midnight skirt made her shins cold from the city breeze. She gazed across the trimmed bushes and commercial architecture near the front door of the Bureau. Sophia exhaled deeply into the DC air, and waited to make the move towards the Bureau’s front door. Sophia had arrived home the day before, and played the messages on her answering machine as usual.

“You have three old messages and one new message.” The answering machine proclaimed, in its dull mechanical voice. Sophia re-played the old messages to herself, writing down the important dates and notes.

Sophia expected the new message to be just another bill collector or telemarketer; so she ignored the message plainly, and planned on caring about it another day. She hung up her coat and put her purse on the coffee table, with the mechanical voice of the new message in the back of her mind.

“…United Nation assistance in foreign development and defense…” Sophia’s eyebrow cocked and her eyes widened. Quickly she ran over to the message machine and re-played the message from the beginning. Her mouth widened in shock as she heard the message again, paying attention this time.

“Your assistance is requested and appreciated to attend a classified meeting in the Census Bureau of Washington, DC. Please respond to this message proclaiming acceptance or withdrawal from this case, voice matching will be use for identification.” The message soon ended with a loud beep, and Sophia found herself in a world of confusion.

At first she thought it was just a mere joke, since she was jobless- one of her friends trying to joke with her. The whole message sounded tacky, and she doubted she would get work from the government. She hadn’t been working for any form of power in at least 7 years, and she had since thought they had erased her from possible employees. Sophia later called the so called Census Bureau, and was astonished to know the truth. The government had wanted her back.

So there Sophia was; one step away from her new job. The bureau had told her she was needed because of her astounding skills in electronical warfare. Her obsessive cleanliness and perfectionist behavior made her out to be a basic American woman, but behind closed curtains she could easily have been one of the most intelligent Citizens in electronics. She knew she would be late if she didn’t immediately enter, so without a thought she shot right through the front doors of the Bureau- and prayed for good look.

“Doesn’t look much different.” She said out loud to herself, remembering the old times she had had in these walls- back when she was still a trainee. Briskly and efficiently she walked to the front desk of the bureau, and spoke seriously towards the secretary, saying her name and identification numbers for her job.

The secretary smiled firmly and said to her, “Welcome to your new job.” She spoke into her headset and said to it, “Yes she is here. I know she’s late Paul- don’t b***h to me about it. Yeah, yeah. Okay I’ll let her in.” The girl shifted her index finger to the left, pointing out to Sophia were to go.

Sophia nodded her head with a smile and turned towards the door. The doors knob was copper and slightly greasy, and she had a bit of trouble turning it. When the door did open, however, she found herself walking into a dark room, with a fresh air- faintly smelling of leather.

“Sophia Carmen?” A voice called out to her, the tone was serious, deep and official- most likely the command officer.

“That would be me.” Sophia said. She looked around the dark room, seeing the silhouettes of others; she found herself in a row with all of the others, most likely the ones that would work with her.

Sophia heard names’ calling out back and forth, the man was shouting out names and positions- people were responding back. More people were speaking, it felt like there were more people in the room then she had expected.

A blanket of fear and insecurity had came over Sophia, without realizing it she felt like the odd-one out in the group. All the others were shouting out all of their positions and talents and degrees- and Sophia was just there, the same old girl she always was- and hadn’t had much improvement since her most recent training. Sure, Sophia did spend many nights in her basement looking through her old files and continuing to read into her electronic programming books to see what else she had to learn- but she still felt like the underdog.

Sophia tried to calm herself down, but she still felt as if she wouldn’t be well recognized- and may even be tired. Her emotions were becoming completely out of control, and soon a wave of jealousy came over her. She wondered in her head if she’d burst out in anger towards them- how they would all be to her.

All in all; Sophia was overstressing herself. Normally she was very calm of a person, and always was able to control her emotions. She repeated in her mind that first impressions are always wrong.

“First impressions are always wrong… First impressions are always wrong… First impressions are always wrong…”

TA DA! I made the city in Washington DC randomly, since locations always doo me good x3






User Comments: [11] [add]
Sir Regulus Lyonhart
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commentCommented on: Wed Aug 16, 2006 @ 06:03pm
Fried Tree is a guy by the way, and WOW, he did a great job!


commentCommented on: Wed Aug 16, 2006 @ 08:17pm
Oh my god, are you serious?? lol!! I would have sworn he was a girl!! *feels very stupid* lol I guess I just assumed cause I don't know many guys who are willing and so excited to play a girl. lol But yeah, he is an EXCELLENT writer. ^_^



EyesOfAmaris
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Sir Regulus Lyonhart
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commentCommented on: Thu Aug 17, 2006 @ 02:16am
I'm just extremely surprised he wrote this. O_o


commentCommented on: Thu Aug 17, 2006 @ 04:25am
lol Why?



EyesOfAmaris
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Sir Regulus Lyonhart
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commentCommented on: Thu Aug 17, 2006 @ 05:14am
Quite obviously, I didn't know he could write this well.

The ending has such a strong finish, and there are absolutely no errors in the entire length of the work. In a sense, it's perfect.


commentCommented on: Thu Aug 17, 2006 @ 05:21am
lol Guess, when he wants a part he puts his all into it. He won it by a long shot. Rhys Enigma's sample seemed only half-assed, no offense to her. It was a lot shorter, less intricate, and it just didn't seem like she felt she had any real competition so she didn't try. Tree obviously tried, and did well. Have you roleplayed with him before? From what I can see, he's doing a good job so far.



EyesOfAmaris
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Sir Regulus Lyonhart
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commentCommented on: Thu Aug 17, 2006 @ 07:01am
Yes, I've roleplayed with him a few times. I never knew he was capable of writing something like this however. It certainly is a surprise. He's joined in my "Allergic Reaction" and a few others, but I don't remember what they were. Rhys is really a great roleplayer, but she may have half-assed her submission due to the fact that she's extremely busy with school. In either case, she wouldn't really be suited for the roleplay because she wouldn't have very much time to engage in it. Kouneki seems to be a bit busy too. If you can get FireSprite Kailel to join, you'd absolutely LOVE her. But sadly I haven't seen her on much lately. She's an English Teacher you see, and I think she's just got a job, so she too is rather preoccupied. Everyone seems to be busy. @_@ I can't blame them though, I'm feeling the stretch of keeping up as well, and it's still Summer for me for another week.


commentCommented on: Thu Aug 17, 2006 @ 09:34am
*nods* So far I'm really enthralled with who I have in my RP. Everyone is wonderful. The only one I have taken note of in absense is WildFire. But, I assume she will return shortly... and if not... I suppose the position will open up. But, I'm thoroughly enjoying RPing with all of you. ^_^



EyesOfAmaris
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Sir Regulus Lyonhart
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commentCommented on: Thu Aug 17, 2006 @ 09:11pm
Haha! Thanks! I used to not join RP's with premade characters, but now I see how they're useful. If one of the players ever disappears, you can just keep roleplaying with a new player. ^^


commentCommented on: Thu Aug 17, 2006 @ 09:14pm
Yup yup. ^_^ Man, I had typed all the info about the sorceress in a PM to a friend and put it in my savebox... and then accidentally deleted my savebox. *cries* It was sooooo long and took me like fifteen minutes to write. I hope she saved it and can send it back to me... sweatdrop



EyesOfAmaris
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Sir Regulus Lyonhart
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commentCommented on: Thu Aug 17, 2006 @ 10:21pm
Oh wow! That sucks! I can't say it hasn't happened to me a few times however. xD

I think FT is maybe a bit off-character with Sophia. I thought she was supposed to be rather passive. Making a bold stand seems rather off color. Just an observation. >.>


User Comments: [11] [add]
 
 
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