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i'm a horrible person...
i fell in love, really fast, and it was fun. then he left for a while and being the way i am i looked somewhere else for someone to help me. you see i'm the type of person who needs someone around, to let me know that i'm cared about all the time, i guess that goes back to when i was little and i had no real friends, ever meet a suicidal preschooler?
theres always kim, i love her with all my heart, but i know that she wants to really distance herself from me because of the thrashing i did to her heart a few years back, and yet she still loves me, as a friend, and she doesnt really trust me.
i'm so used to being used by people, and when i'm hurt i go find a bandaid, a temporary love thats all wrong from the beginning and by the time i realize that i'm not really in love, its too late, i'll hurt the other person *sigh*
well i know that i am gonna break this boy's heart, and he's a fragile person, but my heart wants someone else, someone who's been a friend to me, and i've grown to like and care for. not an instant love at first site.
i'm so confused and i dont know what to do, and to anyone who's ever been involved with me romantically, i'm sorry and i hate myself for hurting you.
god how i wish i weren't always so confused and selfish! i wish i could never hurt anyone else again! i wish my heart wasnt so stupid and confused!