Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

 
 

View User's Journal

I wear this crown of thorns, upon my liars chair...
When you put a penny in the slot, you have to bet that it is gone, never to be seen again, it could come back, it could multiply and it could just be gone. I will not fain greatness. I will steal your pennies.
I knew the sky was blue, but it seemed to me that the sky never truly was until the most important day of my life, a Sunday. I felt all of the aches of life release in a sigh from my joints and sift to be poison to some other life form in the atmosphere as I put my foot outside of my door.

I knew today would mean something.

There are so many things that make life important, defining points that showed you there really was a point and function to it all. I couldn’t keep my mind still as I walked down the street to my end, a wonderfully bright walk filled with houses that had no fences, where the grass spread and touched, no true defining line between one property in the next, only little dips and curves of land that didn’t seem too prominent.

But somehow they meant something.

I waved my hand at someone who waved back, and my heart swelled. People you know, closely or not so close, define your life. If you bent to pick up a stone and cast it in the river, the ripple might touch a tadpole, and carry him along further, where it meets a female tadpole, grows up and has beautiful tadpole babies that never would have existed if it weren’t for you.

And even tadpoles meant something.

Every thing is connected. Every breath I took to my lungs sung a different moment in my life, defined a new edge of a sharp blade that was my existence. Soon my whistling conscious reeled and stopped abruptly. I could see my destination in the distance. I could see him.

He was a dark stain against the clear blue sky, the only thing evident in my vision. I could see even from where I stood his heart wrenching half smile as he sang the truths of a harder life in his dark brown eyes. Someday I would marry him, and have a child. That too defined my life.

I gave wings to me feet that day, my tunnel vision focused on the only thing in my world, the blackened boy who was my world, standing ever still on the sidewalk, me in the street running in a whirlwind of life and color towards him. For no reason at all, it seemed, his face fell to sadness.

I hesitated.

I hardly felt the impact, but I felt the falling, more like flying, soaring, and the rough kiss of the pavement as I met it presently. I could hear screaming until my ears slowly began to fill with some unidentified liquid. Warm and smooth, and the only sound was silence. My darkness was hovering over me, his face locked in wretchedness as he brought me into his arms. I could feel his chest vibrating as he sung me some melancholy song that I couldn’t bring myself to hear.

I could feel the aches of my life seeping out in a sigh, and I could feel my pain release like poison in the atmosphere, to bother some other soul. Blood began to fill my vision, and I blinked and tried to wipe my eyes. I wrenched my muscles in futile effort. I was beyond frustrated, and yet my arm refused to move.

But then I saw, up above, a bird reeling in its waves and burst of life. It meant something, I knew, and the bird would dip and swing until its wings gave out. It was a brown and a white and it clashed artfully with all the red filling my vision.

But, ah, the sky never looked so blue.

~~~

He whispered sweet words in her ear, the girl that was his world, holding her as the last breath abandoned her lungs. He shook with unshed tears and anger and pain and life. He sung to her. He thought of many things that reminded him of death and loss, many things that put his mind to the sad irony of existence, but the song that graced his lips was immeasurably worse.

And he sang: “Blue skies, shining on me; nothing but blue skies do I see. Blue birds singing a song; nothing but blue birds…

…all day long.”





 
 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum