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******** ******** ********... |
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xd
I am so bored, I'm updating a journal no one has read in probably a year.
... Except that I have comments from like 8 months ago.
... God, I can't believe that was 8 months ago. It feels like 2 bazillion years ago. And yet... not.
I'm listening to my love song playlist and angsting. ... w00t! xd
This song is in japanese....
I'm all fecking sweaty. Stupid fever/hot bedroom...
and stupid me for having to try 3 times to spell bed right... beed, bead, bed...
xd
... and, for variety, domokun
I'm such a lame-o. I actually have to click on the smiley things now! What kind of gaian am I?!?!
I hate everything today, I'm pretty sure. Like, I hate that I stayed home, I hate that I'm bored, I hate that its so hot, I hate that I feel pretty useless right now, I hate that I only feel like sitting on my a**, I hate that I don't feel like sitting on my a**.
... But, most of all, I hate pms. The source of all my life's problems. ...Not. But still!
.... Don't you hate autoformatting? ...No? ... Well, on occasion, I do.
So I'm listening to some tenacious d song.
Wahoo.
That's ********' team work!
xd
I feel better. "Nothing is more important than today."
Hey, today is important. So what if I feel kinda sucky at the moment. What do I have but right here, right now? I need to stop waiting for tomorrow, waiting for things to get easier. They don't.
.... And now, of course, I feel really ridiculously happy. ...Except that the ******** dog keeps barking like an effing tard.
Ok, he's playing joyously outside now. ...aka I kicked him out.
blaugh
This song makes me ridiculously happy. Ah, why do I listen to this retarded playlist? It makes me want what I can't have.
You say it best when you say nothing at all.... Ah, now I want cuddles. How cuuuuuute.
Uhg.
..... Cuddles.
sad
I don't get enough cuddles here in abq. Not that I get lovey romantic cuddles in IL xd yeah freaking right. But I get more human contact. I'm used to hugs and goodnight kisses from my mooommy and hugging my friends all the time. My friends are HUGE on hugs in IL. Here, the only person who gives hugs is Lee, and not much anymore. He's had some family problems, what with his twin brother dropping out of hs....
Yeah.
I adore lee though, in an oh-hes-so-adorable way. Cuz he's always all happy-like and gives people hugs. Which is just freaking cool. Not my type as anything but friends, but still cool.
Go on, go on... leave me breathless! Tempt me, tease me until I can't deny this lovin' feeling, make me long for your kiss...
ah, my retarded cheesy music. how I despise it.
...and yet adore it.
Sometimes a girl just needs chick music. And what's more chick than the coors?
Yeah.
EFFING NOTHING.
...Except maybe korean boy bands....
Yeah, def. Shinhwa is so girly... with their random rap parts oO I love them.
I wanna talk to my fav. people, but they won't log on til laterrrrr.... I should call my booty, but I don't feel like talking, just typing. xd
my throat feels like a b***h.
It's just one o' them dayzzz....
oO
Anyways, I don't have anything semi-intelligent to say so yeah.... toodles.
Ashke~MyBeloved · Wed May 02, 2007 @ 12:33am · 0 Comments |
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Ok, so I said some really crappy things about Paul and his sister. They're both pretty nice, and now I feel bad, so eh. Paul is pretty nifty most of the time, and his sister seems nice, she just looks like she should be selling herself or something, and wears low-cut jammie pants too often.
So yeah. Please excuse my meanness, they didn't deserve it. whee
Ashke~MyBeloved · Tue Aug 22, 2006 @ 09:34pm · 2 Comments |
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Ok, so I've decided to write a normal journal entry, like... one that says what I've been up to. And people will be like damn amy's life is boring. >.< I don't think its boring, thank you. I'm entertained.
So I went to sleep at one something this morning, but really that counts as yesterday. I woke up at freaking 8 something and texted, I think, and went back to sleep for like 30 minutes before I got up at 10:05. Then I had to hurry and get ready, which involved pissing, putting in contacts, doing makeup, putting on shoes, putting on clothes, brushing my hair and teeth, and finding my mp3 player on my bed, which had apparently tried to eat it.
Then, I headed to a meeting at school with my councilor, but since schools are ran by dumb, selfish bastards, nothing really got done, except for me having to drop down out of weighted geometry into college prep, which is harder than normal, but you don't get extra credit and doesn't look as good for college, plus I got put into my band class. W00t. Then Mr.Miner was like hey, go talk to the principal, because she can do things I cant. We talk to her and she's like, well this guy can do something about it. So I was like wtf. So she gave this guy a copy of my schedule and he's going to try and figure something out and either e-mail or call me. But STILL! I swear, the world is populated by egotistical idiots.
Then I went and picked up chinese with mom and we came home and ate. Alison called and we talked for 16 minutes, which was amusing. She found Francisco in her closet. I looooove Francisco! He's awesome! whee heart heart heart domokun
And so now I'm online posting in a journal no one is going to read. Damn, I rock. But as for the rest of the say, I plan to lay down and not move much. Do my chores. Possibly clean my room up. I want it clean before school starts, and it starts tuesday.
I have a marching band performance this friday at a football game! Come!
And so I think The Last Tour On Earth is one of the best live albums ever made. It's really awesome, and I love it, even though I'm usually not too fond of live songs. But damn Marilyn Manson is like omg I'm awesome!
He is, too! I'm his obsessive fangirl. ...Not really, but I respect him a ton. He's a freaking genius. Worthy of a hell of a lot more than what people give him.
I mean, his voice is so freaking rough n awesome! I really, really love him as an artist.
Ah, well, you get the point. He's awesome, and I aspire to such greatness.
Though I do NOT desire the celebrity life. However, I do want to do something that matters. Otherwise, I'm as much a waste of space as the billions of other people on this planet. Tis a fact, you know. Some people are only around to fill in space. They serve no other purpose.
Whee.
My jaw hurts. W-T-F-?-!-?-!
lol
I feel like coloring with crayons. I need to buy a coloring book. I love to color. whee
Ashke~MyBeloved · Tue Aug 22, 2006 @ 07:33pm · 0 Comments |
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I'm wearing a dragon. Meaning I officially am the coolest person EVER.
lol.
I'm wearing a light pink, knee-length dress, too, which is fun. I'm gonna wear it all day, unless I have to go somewhere. It's just so fun! whee I feel like a 5 yr old playing dress up.
Damn, I wish I could play dress up.
Who wants to go shopping?!?!
I do! I do!
No! And I know! I wanna disappear!
That song is the shxt.
I'm in love with a tv star! She drove me home in her lexus car! I like her dog, but I don't watch her show! Spend my time with the radio!
THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE, THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE! IT'S ALL RELATIVE TO THE SIZE OF YOUR STEEPLE! YOU CAN'T SEE THE FOREST BUT FOR THE TREES, YOU CAN'T SMELL YOUR OWN s**t ON YOUR KNEES! THERE'S A TIME TO DISCRIMINATE! HATE EVERY ******** THAT'S IN YOUR WAY!
This was the firts MM song I liked. Along with This Is The New s**t. But I was in love with this song.
It was the beginning of an undying love. whee heart heart domokun
Ah, damn, so I've been reading up on my religious books, like a good little satanist.
I was reading Satan Speaks and was like omg I love this essay about being able to visit his own fish with his pants off. It's freaking awesome! I'd type it on here to show you guys, but that's a violation of copyright laws, I'm sure, so I won't.
It's pretty sweet though. I was like heehee.
n oh damn I love this song and I'm kinda hyper and feel like bouncing around and dancing and shxt only I don't dance much so it's like freaking eh.
my mouth was a crib, and it was growing lies...
Burn all the good things in the eden eye. We were too dumb to run, too dead to die. Burn all the good things in the eden eye. We were too dumb to run, too dead to die.
This was never my world, you took the angel away. I killed myself to make everybody pay. This was never my world, you took the angel away. I killed myself to make everybody pay.
I would've told her that she was the only thing that I could love in this dying world, but the simple word of love itself already died and went away.
My skin is soft today. It makes me want to tell people to feel on my hands. But no. I wouldn't do that, except to one person, and they know I'd want more than my hands felt on, so yeah.
My hair is bitchin' as hell today, too. Softttt. It's because I didn't wash it for two days. The natural oils n stuff helped restore it some.
Plus, I've been using the reparative shampoo, and it helps. I need it right now, too, because pulling my hair back for TMB all the time causes breakage and I hate breakage.
I can't handle it @.@
I'm a freak with my hair and nails.
omg I filed my nails today! w00t! Then I put a layer of strengthener on, because I haven't been taking care of them well enough.
Ok, so I don't see why people file off callouses. I mean, sure they're rough and s**t, but they're there for a reason and they keep you from being in a lot of pain!
I just don't understand and hey I'm supposed to be getting a phone call in approximately 5 minutes.
And we can never repair....
This song is the shxt.....
w00t!
I think I feel like a party. But no, I wish for no party, because I'm tired and its like hey.
Well, I'm not really tired, I'm hyper, but I don't feel like annoying my friends.
I just made you up to hurt myself.
Sorry, if you thought you really exist, you don't.
Haha! Loserrrr!
I'm so mean. I love it.
Who wants to come admire the softness of my hair?
Ashke~MyBeloved · Sat Aug 19, 2006 @ 08:27pm · 0 Comments |
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And so I'm online.
I told alicia I was logging off n stuff to go run errands n I thought I was but apparently thats not for another 30 minutes n I don't wanna bug her so whatever.
I'll just post on heeereeee.
I like this songggg.
i can't believe that what i feel is finally happening to me make it hurt and point a finger at my insecurites well i guess i just don't understand about those complexities in your mind and i guess i just don't understand why this world seems so unkind
maybe maybe just one i get just what's coming maybe maybe just once i get what's coming to me
so once again the way you feel you'll never ever stay the same and i'm to blame i wonder just who made the rules up for this game well i guess i just don't understand about what you want and what you need and i guess i just don't understand about why this is how it has to be
maybe maybe just one i get just what's coming maybe maybe just once i get what's coming to me
so go around you say those thousand things you think you have to say look at me and tell me love's not such a hard word word anyway well how can you can count on me i thought you realized for sure and how can you just believe i thought i deserved a little more
maybe maybe just once i get what's coming maybe maybe just once i get what's coming to me
oh god what's coming oh god what's coming to me
Anyways. My contact is a freaking whore today.
I'm kinda ADD at the moment, but not at all hyper. I mean, my legs wont stop moving, but my mind is moving at a freaking crawl. I think I'm having moooood swings. I was freaky-cheerful this morning n now I'm like eeeeeeeeh... I wanna curl up and sleeeeeep forever....
My brain is broken.
Damnit. Someone had better come fix it.
I hate the time before and after my period. I swear it sucks. I'm super-happy and then I go all depressive and then I'm just like blehhh and then I get pissy at people and then suddenly I'm like hey, I'm being a b***h, i should be nice so I'm nice and people are like wtf?!
It's quite annoying.
^.^
And now I'm in a better mood but not really. I'm in the mood where I sing sad love songs n such.
I must call jessie and ask what time practice is.
oO jessie sounded like she was on something. Wonder if her n ali n katie had another 'sleepover'.
whee jessie must be a scary drunk.
she's hyperactive normally, but ehh... @.@;
Anywho.
I'm hungry but I have to wait until I leave with jen because we didn't have enough macaroni so I volunteered to buy myself mcdonalds. Just a large fryyy... I'm gonna pay for it in quarters... lol.
Anyways, I've been having an awesome few days. It's been coooool.
I dread school starting. which reminds me, I need to e-mail mr.miner.
I'll do that today. Phone reminder!
Tschau!
Ashke~MyBeloved · Mon Aug 14, 2006 @ 06:48pm · 0 Comments |
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Wheeeeew!
Band camp is..... not even half over...
and tonight we don't even get to do drill!
Life sucks. lol. I lie.
But still.
I've been having a damned good time lately.
It's like... hey! I'm in a good mood at the moment! What's wrong with me?
But yeah. So I've been having fun and shxt.
I need to get my fish food out of jenny's room. Yuki's missed 2 meals because she hasn't given me that damned food.
My back really, really hurts.
Alison is sure as hell walking on it this afternoon.
I need someone anorexically thin to do it, so yeah.
I'd say her 110 lbs at the height of 5'9 or something constitutes being extremely thin.
She's put on weight or muscle in the past year though. I think its muscle.
Yay for tmb.
You are still inside... all I do, I can still feel you... all I do, I can still feel you.
And so yeah. I'm supposed to write. Because shea called me and told me to.
... -cries- I don't wanna write! I'm on vacation from such responsibilities!
It'll be damned hard to keep up tmb and my story.
Should've updated before it started whee
Anyways, that just confirms what a loser I am.
w00t.
Today julie and rudi walked through one of the double doors into the band room n jessie was right behind them. Julie let the door go because she didn't know jessie was behind her, and the door hit jessie and knocked her over. When julie was told, she was freaking out, apologizing and stuff. She even went pale.
She's really nice. It's because she's canadian.
3nodding 3nodding Anyways, I found it hilarious, and so did jessie, so we were both laughing our asses off.
Anyways, it just proves it. Canadians are a hell of a lot nicer than americans.
Ashke~MyBeloved · Mon Aug 07, 2006 @ 07:33pm · 0 Comments |
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and soooo!
I've had band camp this week.
It was the shxt. Except that I was very mad for parts of it. Because really, I was in pain. And it's sure as hell easy for ******** PAUL to sit there and talk for hours, INTERRUPTING MR.DAY, while we're at horns up biting our tongues to distract ourselves from the pain in our arms. ...Or maybe I just do that last bit. But still.
He was pissing me offffff.
I was 'bout to go homicidal on his a**.
And I found out his sister is that slut I've hated for, what, two years now?
Yeah.
Ew.
But eh, can't judge by sister's... collin's cool, and yet I'm not too fond of his sister...
We're gonna be getting highspeed. heart dunno when exactly BUT IT'S HAPPENING!
That's all that matterssss right now!
lol presidents...
Got The Life by Korn is a really cool song. I've never looked at the lyrics tho, so I might hate it if I do.
All their songs are so whiney.
I'm like jesus ******** christ! Shut up!
But yeah.
And sooooo I'm like lalala... waiting for call n wasting time online... I don't wanna read because it makes me tired.
It's hot in my house 'cause we turned off the air all day today.
I opened my window and I can hear crickets outside.
Yaaaay!
I <3 cricket sounds.
So come dance with me. Dance with me. Dance with me. Dance with me.
Free ipod for you.
Free ipod for me.
Ehh THREESOME!
... lalala... maury has totally turned into jerry springer... they were planning on having an incest episode...
JERRY! JERRY!
But yeah!
I'm gonna post on my xanga once I get my randomness level back up to par.
Rock is deader than dead!
in case you were wondering..
Ashke~MyBeloved · Sun Aug 06, 2006 @ 02:40am · 0 Comments |
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And soooo I've decided everyone on xanga is tired of hearing me rant about shxt.
SO I'LL RANT HERE!
Because less people read this one (a hell of a lot less) and so I can say more without offending people.
Whoo.
My ankle itches because the damned mosquitos ate me while we were camping.
Jenny's puppy gets back from the vet today. It was off getting fixed.
AND DAMNIT, THAT ITCHES!
-dies-
>.>
<.<
BUT EEEEE MY MARCHING BAND STARTS UP IN.... 2 HOURS AND 45 MINUTES!
YEEEEAAAAAAHHHH!
But all the drugs in this world won't save her from herself...
Too true, my friend, too true.
Really, she doesn't need to go drink, do drugs, and ******** people every night. But she does anyways. I just feel sorry for her, and yet it shows it--she doesnt' care about herself. At all. She's too weak to handle her problems like a normal person.
>.> Evolution, in an odd sense... the weak die out. She'll kill herself this way, because she can't handle everything...
It seems so awful to call people weak. Still, to get help would require more strength than what she's doing, and it's an option she refuses.
So whatever.
But still.
ANYWAYS
I'm about to go buy some socks so that I'll have some for teh marching!
wal-mart, here I comeee....
>.> meh old self would be very unhappy to hear that....
ali just called n I completely forgot I was online... hope no one signed on n thought I was ignoring them.... I can't remember where I put my toothbrush...
o.o in soapy bag thingy I think.... >.>
camping messes everything up....
I failed to make you numb, I failed to make you dumb, I failed to make you anybody else...
Anyways, cya!
Ashke~MyBeloved · Wed Aug 02, 2006 @ 07:40pm · 0 Comments |
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AHHH! SEX LIFE DETAILSSSS! IT BURNNSSSSS!
.... I swear, too many people tell me about their sex lives. Really. Do I care if your boyfriend is awesome in bed? HELL NO! SO DON'T TELL ME! .... -grumbles- some people would say I'm bitter because I don't have one. A sex life, that is.
xd
someone call my cellphoooone... I can't find itttt....
maybe I left it in the car? probably. oh, poo.
.... and I can't get to the door either... tommy's in the way and I don't feel like pissing him off. Maybe I'll ask mom to.
.... ah, hell. Not like it takes anything to piss him off anyways...
..............it was on my dresser.
....yes, shut up.
Squishy's depressed because his fish died, so now he's watching yuki instead.
Poor, poor yuki....
Ashke~MyBeloved · Sun Jul 30, 2006 @ 03:43am · 1 Comments |
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