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Really Long Survey (over 200)
Created by starsbleed2nite and taken 89456 times on bzoink!
What is your name?	Zeldene
Are you named after anyone?	sort of. My gran's name is Zelda and my mother's name is Kathleen, but my mother thought that Zeldeen looked ugly lol!
What's your screename?	Zolziski
Would you name a child of yours after you?	No
If you were born a member of the opposite sex what would your name be?	Chase (I hope :-p )
If you could switch names with a friend who would it be?	Trynity
Are there any mispronounciations/typos that ppl do w/ your name constantly?	YES! Zeldine, Zaldean, Zeldien. Assholes.
Would you drop your last name if you became famous?	No. Hearing people struggle with it would be make being famous worth it :-p
Basics
Your gender:	Female
Straight/Gay/Bi:	Straight
Single?	No
If not, do you want to be?	No
Birthdate:	19/04/1988
Your age:	17
Age you act:	12
Age you wish you were:	12
Your height:	5'4"
Eye color:	Blue/Green
Happy with it?	Sure
Hair color:	Blonde
Happy with it?	Yep
Lefty/righty/ambidextrous:	Righty
Your living arrangement:	Live with my mom, though I may as well live with my boyfriend
Your family:	What about them?
Have any pets?	A kitty!
Whats your job?	Um... Job?
Piercings?	7
Tattoos?	3
Obsessions?	Cheese
Addictions?	Cheese
Do you speak another language?	Yes
Have a favorite quote?	No, not really
Do you have a webpage?	http://www.zolziski.com
Deep Thoughts About Life and You in it
Do you live in the moment?	Sorta kinda
Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?	No
Do you have any secrets?	Everyone does.
Do you hate yourself?	Sometimes
Do you like your handwriting?	Sometimes
Do you have any bad habits?	Yes
What is the compliment you get from most people?	Compliments? I only get compliments from my boyfriend and we all know that they don't count :-p
If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?	Confusing Muck
What's your biggest fear?	Being nothing, heights
Can you sing?	Everyone can sing, it's whether you're good at it, or not, that's important.
Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?	Yes, but not to look cool
Are you a loner?	Somewhat
What are your #1 priorities in life?	Prioroties? *blink*
If you were another person, would you be friends with you?	Probably not, I'd be too cool
Are you a daredevil?	Somewhat
Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?	Plenty
Are you passive or agressive?	Mossly passive, but I can be aggresive if you push too far.
Do you have a journal?	Too many
What is your greatest strength and weakness?	Indecisiveness and compassion
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?	If I wanted to change something I'm not already changing, I'd be changing it already :-p
Do you think you are emotionally strong?	Somewhat
Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?	Yes
Do you think life has been good so far?	Yea
What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?	Don't be gullible and naive - guys like porn. (period) and sometimes, they like you too, but generally they like porn, so don't fall for the sweet talk...
What do you like the most about your body?	My eyes?
And least?	My love handles and knees
Do you think you are good looking?	Only if I try to be.
Are you confident?	I'm good at pretending to be confident.
What is the fictional character you are most like?	I am my own fictional character.
Are you perceived wrongly?	Most of the time
Do You...
Smoke?	Not cigarettes
Do drugs?	Weed?
Read the newspaper?	Nope, though I should
Pray?	It's been a while
Go to church?	It's been a while
Talk to strangers who IM you?	Yea, much to my boyfriend's chagrin
Sleep with stuffed animals?	Only when I miss my boyfriend a lot
Take walks in the rain?	Sometimes I dance
Talk to people even though you hate them?	Yes, just cos you dislike someone, doesn't mean you have to be rude.
Drive?	Not yet
Like to drive fast?	I like it when my boyfriend does
Would or Have You Ever?
Liked your voice?	Nope
Hurt yourself?	. . .
Been out of the country?	A few times, but nothing spectacular
Eaten something that made other people sick?	LOL! Yes! Veggie meat
Been in love?	am
Done drugs?	Nothing other than weed
Gone skinny dipping?	Who hasn't?
Had a medical emergency?	No
Had surgery?	Yes
Ran away from home?	Yes
Played strip poker?	Yes
Gotten beaten up?	Yes
Beaten someone up?	Yes
Been picked on?	Yes
Been on stage?	Yes
Slept outdoors?	Yes
Thought about suicide?	Yes
Pulled an all nighter?	Yes
If yes, what is your record?	74 hours, or so
Gone one day without food?	Yes
Talked on the phone all night?	Nope
Slept together with the opposite sex w/o actually having sex?	Yes
Slept all day?	Yes
Killed someone?	Nope
Made out with a stranger?	Sort of
Had sex with a stranger?	No
Thought you're going crazy?	Yes
Kissed the same sex?	Yes
Done anything sexual with the same sex?	Other than kissing, no
Been betrayed?	Yes
Had a dream that came true?	Too often
Broken the law?	Yes
Met a famous person?	Sort of
Have you ever killed an animal by accident?	Not that I know of
On purpose?	Nope
Told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell?	Yes
Stolen anything?	Yes
Been on radio/tv?	Nope
Been in a mosh-pit?	Yes
Had a nervous breakdown?	Yes
Bungee jumped?	Nope
Had a dream that kept coming back?	Yes
Beliefs
Belive in life on other planets?	Yes
Miracles?	Yes, we're all breathing, are we not?
Astrology?	Sort of
Magic?	Magick, maybe. Magic is just a gimmick
God?	Yes
Satan?	Yes
Santa?	Nope, never have
Ghosts?	Yes
Luck?	Nope
Love at first sight?	Nope
Yin and yang (that good cant exist w/o bad)?	Nope
Witches?	Sort of
Easter bunny?	Nope
Believe its possible to remain faithful forever?	Yes
Believe theres a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow?	Nope
Do you wish on stars?	Sometimes
Deep Theological Questions
Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell?	What is the traditional view of heaven and hell? If you mean that heaven is on a cloud and that hell is under ground and lasts forever, then no.
Do you think God has a gender?	Yes
Do you believe in organized religion?	Yes
Where do you think we go when we die?	It depends on the type of life you lead.
Friends
Do you have any gay/lesbian friends?	Yes
Who is your best friend?	Mark-Shamus (my boyfriend)
Who's the one person that knows most about you?	Mark-Shamus, other than myself
What's the best advice that anyone has ever given to you?	Don't eat the green wobbly bit.
Your favourite inside joke?	No, not really. (or) Jean Pant
Thing you're picked on most about?	Not being like other people
Who's your longest known friend?	Bronwyn
Newest?	Lauren
Shyest?	Smitch
Funniest?	Mark-Shamus / Smitch & Trynity (when together) / Lauren
Sweetest?	Trynity
Closest?	Mark-Shamus
Weirdest?	Tryn / Lauren
Smartest?	Mark-Shamus
Ditziest?	Tryn
Friends you miss being close to the most?	Danica
Last person you talked to online?	Mark-Shamus
Who do you talk to most online?	Mark-Shamus
Who are you on the phone with most?	Mark-Shamus
Who do you trust most?	Mark-Shamus & Trynity
Who listens to your problems?	Mark-Shaums & Trynity
Who do you fight most with?	Mark-Shamus
Who's the nicest?	Mark-Shaums & Trynity
Who's the most outgoing?	Mark-Shaums & Trynity
Who's the best singer?	hahahahahahahahhahahahha!
Who's on your s**t-list?	Nicole, Rayne, Stacy, Carmen, another Nicole, Jasmine
Have you ever thought of having sex with a friend?	LOL! No!
Who's your second family?	Um... Used to be Rebecca's family, I don't have one now, unless Mark-Shamus counts
Do you always feel understood?	Nope
Who's the loudest friend?	Tryn or Rebecca
Do you trust others easily?	Too easily
Who's house were you last at?	Mark-Shamus'
Name one person who's arms you feel safe in:	Mark-Shamus
Do your friends know you?	Sort of.
Friend that lives farthest away:	Rebecca
Love and All That
Do you consider love a mistake?	Nope
What do you find romantic?	A candle-lit supper
Turn-on?	Smelling good
Turn-off?	Smelling bad
First kiss?	Christian
If someone u had no interest in had interest in dating u how would u feel?	Weirded out
Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going	Not really
Have u ever wished it was more socially acceptable 4 a girl 2 ask a guy out	No, I see nothing wrong with it, why should I care if society frowns. They're all just pissed off that they never had the guts to, assholes
Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractiv	Yes
Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?	If I try and they have bad eyesight
What is best about the opposite sex?	Their ability to be so pig-headed and yet so sexy at the same time. I wish I could pull that off :-p
What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?	Their ability to be so pig-headed and yet so sexy at the same time.
What's the last present someone gave you?	My kitty! That would be the last official present
Are you in love?	Yes
Do you consider your significant other hot?	Hell Yea!!!!
Who Was the Last Person...
That haunted you?	Um... I thought only ghosts haunted...
You wanted to kill?	Nicole, Rayne and Stacy
That you laughed at?	My mother
That laughed at you?	Mark-Shamus
That turned you on?	Mark-Shamus
You went shopping with?	Mark-Shamus
That broke your heart?	Mark-Shamus
To disappoint you?	Mark-Shamus
To ask you out?	Mark-Shamus
To make you cry?	Mark-Shamus
To brighten up your day?	Mark-Shamus
That you thought about?	Danica
You saw a movie with?	Mark-Shamus
You talked to on the phone?	My mother / Mark-Shamus
You talked to through IM/ICQ?	Mark-Shamus
You saw?	Mark-Shamus
You lost?	People get lost, you can't lose people, they have to lose themselves.
Right This Moment...
Are you going out?	No
Will it be with your significant other?	It would be if I was
Or some random person?	Nope
What are you wearing right now?	Perv! :-p A denim skirt and a black top from thinkgeek.com
Body part you're touching right now:	Um... I have both my hands on the keyboard.
What are you worried about right now?	I'm worried about this survey being used as info for advertising companies
What book are you reading?	Shades by Marguerite (sp?) Poland
What's on your mousepad?	I don't have a mousepad
Use 5 words to describe how you're feeling:	Bored; Tired; Worried; Stupid; Annoyed
Are you bored?	Yes
Are you tired?	Yes, though I shouldn't be
Are you talking to anyone online?	Sort of
Are you talking to anyone on the phone?	About to
Are you lonely or content?	Content-ish
Are you listening to music?	Nope
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so, now i can't even vent in private stare

my boyfriend says i don't love him. maybe i don't - i dunno, but it still hurts. i've resolved not to say the words "i love you" to him, but it's difficult. i let it slip out today sweatdrop but it's ok, i guess i just felt like my heart broke into a million pieces all over again cos i know that he doesn't believe that i love him in the way love should be deifined as. my heart hurts. crying

no one reads my journal or comments or cares crying

Buried deep as you can dig inside yourself,
and covered with a perfect shell,
such a charming beautiful exterior.
Laced with brilliant smiles and shining eyes,
perfect posture, but you're barely scraping by,
but you're barely scraping by.

This is one time, this is one time
that you can't fake it hard enough to please
everyone or anyone at all,or anyone at all.
And the grave that you refuse to leave
the refuge that you've built to flee
the places you have come to fear the most.
it's the place that you have come to fear the most

Buried deep as you can dig inside yourself,
and hidden in the public eye.
Such a stellar monument to loneliness.
Laced with brilliant smiles and shining eyes
and perfect makeup but you're barely scraping by
but you're barely scraping by

This is one time, this is one time
that you can't fake it hard enough to please
everyone or anyone at all, or anyone at all
And the grave that you refuse to leave
the refuge that you've built to flee
the places that you've come to fear the most.
it's the place that you have come to fear the most

And you cant fake it hard enough to please
everyone or anyone at all, or anyone at all
And the grave that you refuse to leave
the refuge that you've built to flee
the places that you've come to fear the most.
its the place that you have come to fear the most,
its the place that you have come to fear the most

-dashboard confessional

it's 1:40am and i'm leaving for a music festival in a couple of hours and i just can't ******** sleep. sadly, this is not because of excitement, but rather because i am thinking way too much. i'm rememberring s**t that should be long forgotten and it sucks to know that i am such a bitter and angry person. for crying out loud! it's been a year and and a month and i still can't let go and i've done so much worse. in times like these i wonder how the ******** my boyfriend copes. is it so wrong to wish death upon someone? someone who has caused you so much turmoil. or does the fault lie with me? am i being stupid for not being able to forget and move on? i think the latter is the harsh truth and i dunno what to do about it. i just wanna forget. i just wanna not be sad about it anymore. i just wanna not feel so alone sometimes even when my boyfriend is lying next to me. i don't wanna shed another tear, clench another fist or have another sleepless night over this. i feel so rotten for still being so bitter and i want it all to stop.

that's right - i've started home schooling which to me is so much better! no more putting up with shallow s**t that doesn't concern me, no more cnstant bitchy-ness and no more lame drama that no one really cares about.

i'm so sick of people getting involved when things don't concern them and i'm sick of people being so ******** pretentious. what's the point of "getting in on the action" when no action will follow and if you don't even give a s**t about the people involved? i can't stand it when people pretend to care - there's nothing more insulting. bleh. i would explain why i'm ranting about such things, but i just don't feel like getting into it all.

i hate the way that i expect too much from people. i expect maturity from people who should still be in diapers. i expect people to take me into consideration the way i would do with them. i expect people to know when to drop things and i expect people to know when to go away and never enter my life again. to me, these seem like such normal things to expect, but clearly it's not cos that's not what i get.

i had to go to school with people who are older than me and yet aren't mature enough to let things go. i have a stalker person who comes in and out of my life every few months. bleh. i hate bitching, but it's ok - i think i'm done.

...makes me tired and i wish there was less of it in a day stare i hate the fact that i get to my boyfriends house after school and all i have the energy for is "surfing the net" since it's mindless. i do this regardless of how much homework i have and it sucks! i haven't fallem behind (and hopefully a "yet" doesn't belong at the end of this sentence) i'm just so tired crying