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So while this was made to be an IC journal, it seems I have neglected it for far too long. Work and all, you know? I'll leave this here should I decide to get back into the whole IC thing but it hardly seems worth it if I'm not going to be all that active with the whole role playing thing. Besides, the journal was all about things I made up as I wrote, not like I was out there RPing the characters and situations. So that itself adds a bit of dullness to the whole idea now. I'm far too busy to worry with trivial matters that probably were only seen by my eyes anyway.

Like, holy s**t. Ian's on trial? No ******** way! I heard he was arrested but I thought it was just the rumor mill spewing out s**t again. He's too hot for jail and a trial. Better be made innocent.

Anyway, Sam's doing great. He needs a little help with things but that's fine by me because I get to see him more. From what I understand he's in less trouble law-wise than the other guy. The other guy has a history of this kind of crap so haha, all charges against Sam may be dropped by the bar and he may not have to pay any fines in damages. How sweet is that? I mean damn!

Yeah, I'm working and taking care of Sam. He's been staying with me since he got out of the hospital. We have a few fights here and there but you know what that means, yep. Make up sex. Hell no I'm not going into detail, that's for me to know and you only to guess. And that's that, I gotta get back to work.

I'm currently sitting in the hospital with Sam. Why? He was in a bar fight last night. We both were drunk and so was the other guy he fought. The other guy said something to me what normally doesn't bother me. But with Sam right there, ******** yeah it bothered me. Bothered Sam too. He took a swing at the guy, the guy swung back. A glass was thrown at Sam, it splintered against his brow and cut it. It was a wrestling match, chairs were used as weapons until finally they were broken up. Both Sam and the other guy now have police records, I don't care about that. Just the fact Sam seems... unrespondant right now. He's not in a coma, he's not sleeping he just doesn't want to talk or look at me. Did I do something, is he ashamed of what he did? I told him again and again I didn't blame him for anything that happened. I got a little cut on my arm that needed three stitches but I'm fine otherwise.

I got no sleep last night, talked to Mom and Seraph on the phone most of the time. Mom came by to give me some things last night and Seraph was by this morning. With Sam being the way he was, I didn't want her to see him. So it was a good thing she came when the doctors had me out in the hall while they checked on Sam. The bastards won't tell me what's going on because I'm only his girlfriend and not married or related to him. His older sister is in the room now, I came down to a small computer lab to try and do something to ease my mind. It's not working, I need a drink and some sleep but I don't want to just ignore Sam. He should be out either tonight or tomorrow, they said something about making sure the hit to the head he got didn't cause any lasting damage.

This computer is a piece of s**t. It's frustrating me with it's slowlness so I'm going to see if I can take a walk or get some chocolate and strawberries...

A sports bar with a computer and internet access. Go figure. It's because a lot of people play that fantasy football thing I bet.

ANYWAY! This year has rocked so far. Sam met the family on New Years day, he was hung over from the night before (so was I) so he was a little grumpy and not as charming as normal. Daddy thinks he's always this way, so not true. We had a BBQ in the middle of winter, it was fun except for the cold. Oh well, Anicetus did the grilling. And I just realized how much my family gets together around this time of year. We're practically living under the same roof again. Don't think Seraph's too fond of Sam but I'm dating him and not her. She's got Leon. I'm convinced there's something secret going on between them. She's way too happy with working for him without that being so. Wonder if Ani's got himself a woman yet.

Blah, blah. Who cares right? Tonight Sam and I are going clubbing, yeah, on a Thursday. We wanna be different and see people you won't see on a Friday or Saturday night. I just want to get out and have some fun other than just drinking, bars will only do so much for you before they start to get a little dull. Bars are my "I wanna sit and be a lazy ********" night more often than not. A long day and tired feet or back means to a bar I go.

Wait, why the hell am I wasting my break by typing in my journal? I'm going to get some food. Later.

Guilt tripping me is hard. Very hard, but my big sister managed to do it. I didn't mean to make her cry though I think it's childish. Yet... I did the same thing over the first guy I liked. Things didn't go well for me and that's really what made me who I am now when it comes to love. You have to be aggressive or you'll miss out.

I'm back home now and glad to be so after things turned sour at Seraph's place. Anicetus is here right now, he's still beating himself up over the whole thing. I'm about to take him out to a bar or something, get him to loosen up. My baby brother's a good guy but just gets hung up on things a little too easily.

Mom and Dad didn't chew me out like I thought. I got a simple "Leave matters of the heart to the person dealing in them" from both and that was it. They let Seraph growl at me. And... she did. Wow, never knew she could be so angry. I do honestly feel bad now but also annoyed. I was trying to help! Be grateful I show any interest in my siblings after we're all grown up.

Eh, that reminds me. Sunday I'll have people over for a New Year's dinner. I don't know if Seraph is coming, I'll prepare for her anyway. I'm not cooking, not really. I have a meal ordered and all I'll have to do it warm everything up. That I can do, I'm not good at cooking anything like a big meal. Though since it's my house there will be plenty of alcohol. I plan to spend New Year's Eve out celebrating. You know, I can't remember when my new bo is due back home. Makes me feel dumb, I know I wrote it down somewhere, I just have to find it. But if he's in town I'm spending the night with him. So many plans to make, so little time. I best get busy.

What a haul! I got a pair of gold earrings from Seraph, a bracelet too. Anicetus gave me some of the DVDs I had expressed interest in getting (three in total) and he gave me a gift certificate to one of those fancy lingerie stores. I would have felt funny about him getting me clothing from there (he's my brother!), so in this case the gift certificate is better. Mom got me some new shoes, a nice silk PJ set and a blouse. Daddy gave me things he heard me drop hints about. Mainly new kitchen appliances, nothing big like the dishwasher or stove though. He also got me an upgrade for my computer. I haven't gotten that yet because I have to take the computer in but now it'll run smoother and with more hard drive space, glee!

So the day after Christmas I decided to hit Barton Town. The trains were running a little funny, it was still considered a holiday since Christmas fell on a Sunday this year. There were more people out than I thought, all making returns or taking advantage of the day after Christmas sales that were popping up all over. I wasn't out to shop, I had but one thing in mind: Get Sera's Leon alone to grill him.

I found the Guild Hall building. It wasn't too hard though it looked more like an armory on the outside. It was open, for four hours only. I walked in and there he was, in the armor Seraph always talks about. I swear he mumbled something like "Oh no, not you" but I didn't care. I sauntered up the desk he was behind and leaned on it with a wide grin. No p***y-footing around the issue for me.
"So, you seeing Seraph?" I asked.
He looked up from the clipboard he had tried to hide behind. "No." He didn't even look at me, rather past me. I turned around to find no one there and just snorted.
"I can tell she likes you, a lot. She was practically floating yesterday when you were there. So was I, but for a different reason." I had to laugh, while I was buzzed I remembered the change in how Seraph acted while he was around.

I dragged a chair up the... stair things around the desk and sat down after that. Whoever designed the interior was an idiot, his desk barely had enough room on that ghetto pedestal it was on. Anyway, I was quiet for a while as he flipped through papers on the clipboard then unfurled a scroll to take notes on. After a while he sighed and put everything down to look at me.
"Can I help you?" Yeah, he didn't sound sincere about it at all. Annoyed was more like it, but I wasn't going to give up until I was sure I had my answer. No matter what that answer was.
"How about your phone number?" I bat my eyes playfully. If I could get it from him, it was going to make it's way into Seraph's hands.
Leon rolled his eyes then and pointed to the business cards sitting at the edge of the desk. The Guild Hall number, not home.
I shrugged, "Oh I have that."
"Then you don't need one." His voice was hinting at aggravation now.
"Look at me," I said as I changed my tone to a more commanding one. "You are going to give me a truthful answer and then I will leave. Do you like my sister at all?"
"Yes, but the way you're trying to find out about - no." That time he looked me in the eyes. They didn't say anything different from what his words did.

I decided to change my approach then and relaxed in the seat.
"Think about it. She'd be loyal, trustworthy and quite loving. You'd be the first person she ever dated. A special title, don't you think?"
Leon rubbed his eyes with a hand. "Leave, please. I get enough of this from the fan club. No one has come out and said it but I know it's there. There are too many girls trying to net me and I don't want to make any of them feel scorned."
I stood up then and took the chair back to where I got it from. "Pick one or risk losing them all. And if they like you as much as they say, they'll still be around if a relationship doesn't work out. I don't know how long Seraph will wait though." And then I left right as other people came in.

That was all yesterday, today I've just been chilling with the family, we went out for lunch to Barton Pub. I had a little something to drink but no one wanted me to get like I had been Christmas day. Party poopers. Oh well, there's always tonight, think I'll invite Sneeuw.

I think I'm going to head home tomorrow too, I miss being able to do what I want when I want. This having to get someone to let me in the house when I'm out late is annoying. It's always my parents since the room they're in is near the front door. Anicetus is in the living room in the back and Seraph's room is there too. Maybe I should go to the back door tonight so I don't get a lecture from the parental units again.

You know, the whole family being in one house. Five adults and three being women. Seraph gets her own bathroom but I have to share with Mom, Dad and Anicetus. Oh sure, there are three toilets but only two tubs/showers. The toilet near the laundry room is one of those "half-bath" things. Why do they call it a half-bath when there is no tub or shower? Retarded.

Seraph's got a nice house... I think on my birthday this year I'm going to take Dad up on his offer for help in a better place. His last big gift to us, I never wanted to take it because I didn't want to look like a daddy's girl but now is a different story.

Seraph doesn't keep enough booze! The only thing she has is the Christmas wine. Not even spiked eggnog! Mom said we don't need it though, Seraph's friends are mostly under the drinking age. Shhh, Snee, don't tell anyone I serve you at the bar. Hey wait, Seraph knows I do too and hasn't squealed on me yet. You got blackmail on her or something, Snee?

I hate laptops. Just thought you should know. Guess Dad bringing his PC along would have been dumb. He has controls on here that limit my access! He and Seraph both take the fun out of being online... And apparently Dad is still doing business while he's supposed to be on vacation so I have to give the comp up. Bleah.

The sports bar is dull this week, most the regulars are either visiting family or staying home with them rather than coming. I'm seeing new faces though and so many are asking me to show them around town since they're new or visiting. I know some are lying, I've seen them briefly shopping somewhere. And I turned them all down, for now at least since I have a guy I like. I never gave his name, did I? It's Sam, he lives out Aekea. Near my parents to be exact which is kinda creepy. I'd just die if he knows my Dad and that's how we met... Dad has come into the bar a few times. Mainly during lunch with some of his buddies. They aren't supposed to drink but there's always one or two of his co-workers that do. Daddy's far too proper to drink though. I think he's also the one driving so it makes sense.

Backing up, while I may be dating Sam it doesn't mean I can't play and tease other guys while on duty. And on duty means I'm playful, not sluttish. It sells more drinks and food when the girls are playful. And I can blow off someone easily all while keeping a smile so I'm not worried. Though Becca doesn't seem to have that skill down pat yet. Today when we both got off we decided to go get something to eat at the fast food joint across the way. She was telling be about how nervous she was, she had three dates this week with three different men that all thought she was giving them her undivided attention. It's actually against company policy to accept a date/advancement while you're working. But she can't seem to be forceful enough, she's getting better though!

Coming home tonight was a nightmare. Since the middle of last week travel has been getting worse and worse each day. Oh Jebus, if tomorrow is even worse than today I am not going into work Wednesday! Oh wait, what am I saying? I don't work tomorrow and don't have to until Dec 28. Ha! Freedom! The next time I travel is the holiday trip to see Seraph. Oh screw that, I'm going to the pool hall tomorrow. I don't play pool but they have awesome steak fingers and some of the girls I work with are going to be there with their boy friends and dates for a party that starts at noon. It basically our sports bar just with pool tables and smoking indoors.

And there's a single serving of mint chocolate chip in the fridge with my name on it and a movie coming on TV I want to catch. Later.

Oh I really like this guy. First date and he takes me to one of those higher class places. You know the ones where it's almost half the normal worker's paycheck per person? I felt obligated to either go home with him or take him home with me but... no. Not on the first date, I'm having too much fun seeing what all I'll get before that. Not that he isn't a hottie. I mean, tall dark and handsome? Screw cliches, I like him anyway! Sort of like a rock star in looks, though he knows how to take care of his shoulder length, raven hair. Personal care is a big must for me, if a guy isn't clean then he's not worth it. He smelled nice, uses one of those body sprays for men. Oh, they call them deodorant sprays, my bad. Body spray is a girlie term and any man using it to name what he uses is called gay. I don't give a flying flip what they call it.

Anyway, we sat down in a dimly lit restaurant at a nice cozy table for two. The chair backs were middle height I guess, my shoulder blades just brushed the top. They were plush seats, very squishy with arm rests and velvet covering. I want some for home, they were a nice red color. There was an oil lamp on the table with a nice orange glass around the flame. It made the white table cloth look warm and the lighting on him complimented his dark eyes. The appetizer was crab legs, ooh. I had him crack them open for me, I never could do it. The butter sauce was heavenly and I even got to feed him a bit while he fed me. I had a nice big house salad next, we shared that too. Corny? You bet. But the perfect chance to flirt and test the waters. And test them I did. Footsies, playful looks and comments that could be taken out of context easily.

The main course was nice too. I ordered fish, you know something light so I didn't look like a pig. He got a steak, typical man. Since he was driving he couldn't drink and I teased him with my red wine, I forgot what I had ordered... was something I hadn't tried before. Not too bad if I say so myself. The grilled veggies were a little too well done, the outsides had been charred. I didn't touch the garlic toast, no gum or breath strip will clear up dragon breath and I swear to it. The shrimp were bland but damn good when put in the red sauce they gave me. I had some of his potatoes, he didn't care about dragon breath because they had garlic in them.

We shared the cheesecake desert and the single strawberry. I got the first bite and he took the rest. He was really digging it and so was I, we have another date after Christmas. He's going to visit family Monday so this will be the last time I see him until then. I can deal, I think I gave him just enough to make him think about me the whole time we're apart. We'll see how long this lasts, so far so good. While I tell Seraph she needs to loosen up and get her a man, she tells me I need to tighten up and keep one. Hey, I'll know who the keeper is eventually.