Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Yeah, I've got a final tomorrow. I've actually been studying, its just that now, my brain can't really take much more. It also doesn't help that a friend of mine bought Katamari Damancy for the PS2 today. We created 10 stars before studying a little more.

I'm so tired and my room is so hot. It was quite humid and muggy today (I hate this weather). My room doesn't have AC either, which totally blows. My friend and I rode out the hottest part of the day at the library (it has AC biggrin )

I have to pack up most of my stuff because i'm moving most of my stuff back home tomorrow. Can you believe I have an exam on a saturday?? What the flip?

Oh, I applied for a job at Hollywood Video, I'm going in for an interview on Monday. I really want this job. I could buy all these used games because that is my plan for the summer: work, sleep, gaming, watching movies. I decided, especially since I have to write a resume, that I don't want to do an internship until next year. I'll be more prepared, mentally for it (having finally taken a class specific to my major, electrical engineering) and I'll be more ready for it. This summer I'll be alone most of the time. My parents moved their office out of the house, THANK GOD!!!, I had gotten a job to be out of the house. And my sis got admitted to a pre-college art program because she is awsome. She's off to MICA this summer.

That's all for now, I'm going to get some food before hitting the books again.

Wow... I haven't been here in ages. It's been about a year, but now that there are such awsome games... I can't resist coming here.

A lot has changed. If you've read my previous posts, ranting about how much I hate my father, well... Not so much anymore. He can be a bit annoying still, but since I don't really live out of my house, and his business moved out of the house, I've been spending less time with him and therefore not as annoyed with him.

I heart college! I have picked an ambitious major however. I'll be completing 16 credits for the rest of my college career... ouch. It's worth it. I like my major and am determined to see it through. I'll show my dad that I can enjoy what I do, even if the pay isn't that great. I don't really care about the money, as long as I can live off my salary. I just want to do what I want to do... and that's nothing to do with marketing!!!

Okies... I'm doing something that will probably come back to bite me in the a$$, but oh well... I'm not really concentraiting on my AP exam that is only a day way... I'm screwed like this light bulb idea ... anywayz... sweatdrop Anyone know a good bridge I could jump off... no... that's hurt too much... no me gusta pain...

Oh, My kitties are officially cats today... yeup... my cats turn one today... they are so freakin' cute... Their names are Cheerio and Fruitloop...

I'm enjoying two weeks without the parents around btw. They were stressing out a bit and won't make me stress or make me feel bad that I'm not stressing enough. Having the parents gone during AP exam week is awsome... except for the AP exams...

I guess I really should study for Calc... sweatdrop Wish me luck!

hey Siora,

i know i don't write much, Journal wise, i'm always doing something else, but today i really need to vent and rant...

My father, the furon, hypocrite, jackass (the tree lovely names we call him behind his back) has managed to piss my sister and i off AGAIN tonight. last weekend he gets all angry and mentions that my sister and i are pretty much lazy bums and don't do anything for the "rest of the house." earlier today, he asks if i am cooking dinner (my mom and sister do their own thing due to dietary needs) and was pretty much telling me, in not so many words, to cook him dinner. he also asks if i'll serve, SERVE him Ice cream and coffee, i refuse, in fact thanks to him, i don't eat ice cream anymore. anyway today when i refused to make dinner for the two of us, he mentions again how i'm a lazy bum and don't to anything for anyone, except for myself. this is SOOOO not true. i don't do anything for him because he expects me to because i'm a girl. Anyone who knows me, know's that i'm not selfesh, i can't hold a grudge, and i'll do practically anything to support my friends (including my sister and mom)

I am so tired of how he diludes himself, as well as us, that he thinks that women are the stronger sex. He doesn't treat me like it. I refuse to become a housewife (good for me because i want to major in a male majority major of engineering.) My Husband will be the opposite of my father. (my sister and i have made a promise to each other to tell one another if the man we want to marry is at all like our father [i refuse to call him dad]). I will NOT have a chore in cooking, i don't even want a chore of laundry, but we have laundry duty. If he pisses me off too much when i do the laundry i'm sooo adding blech and blaming it on my in experience of how to do the laundry, (but this makes me appear like an idiot, i have more pride than making myself stupider than i really am!) i've actually found that i really don't want any help from him.

He is so incredibly hypocritical and puts strings on everything. How many times has my sister and i've heard that we are better off the he when he was young and how he bought me a new bed and new computer, as well as a new stereo system (i am NOT accepting anything like it again, he'll just hold it over my head, and right now, i would rather go through the streets naked than accepting a single article of cloathing from him, let alone any electronics....) I'm good with the hand-me-down extra hard drive that thinks it only has 4 GB left when it has 40...i digress)

My father, the hitler wanna be as i will now call him (that freakin tyrant!), is so undermineing, not good for a girl going through puperty, doubting herself during SAT's (with a score of 1210 by old standards and 1730 new SAT's) and college application time... His comments, or at least the way he says it, could border on child abuse. If we didn't need him for finacial support, my mom would probably have divorced him, at least i hope she would. At least i don't have long till i go off to college, i feel really bad for my younger sister, cuz she'll probably get double the annoyance, the chores, and him period when i'm gone. If i go to college close by, i'll be either visiting, or having my sister visit all the time. I can't wait until i'm done with all that school then i'll really tell him how much i hated him doubting me, and shackleing me to the house with chores, and his paranoia. He has trust issues leaving his car for my mom, let alone me. I'm so sick of him gahhh!!!

i guess, at least right now, it's a good thing that i'm so ignored on Gaia online. I try to get noticed here, but it doesn't work, i must be lacking in the luck virus... or may it's just friends....

i found out that my best friend is not dependable, i should really tell her how i feel, but she's the only friend i've got in lunch, and the only friend i see all day because my friends are in humanities when i'm in the science oriented program. Sometimes i just feel so alone, but then again, i know why(sort of), i do seem to push some people away (or at least, i'm just a little shy, i need them to break the ice) anyway, my sister and two of my friends went to New York over one of the previous weekends. My best friend abandoned me, she hung around with this other girl. it's not like i had anything against the other girl, heck, i probably would have gotten along with her well, but my friend doesn't introduce us, she just ignores me. Luckily my other friend didn't, she found another girl and invited the other girl to hang around with us. I would be best friends with her if she wasn't so busy and rarely came to lunch because she overloads herself with school work.

There are just so many things that are going wrong in my life right now. I just need to get away, to step back for a moment and recollect myself, but with school, and my father working at home, i fear i'm just going to break under the pressure and pain of growing up. god i need another spring break, one where my mom doesn't have to go on a buisness trip, leaving my sister and i with a man who doesn't realise how he underminds us, but insists on us trying to have a relationship.

I am so sick of lying to him when he asks if we love him. One of these days (if not today) i'm going to snap and say "no, sorry father, I just ran out of sympathy." and then leave him and his, whatever... leave him forever.... God i wish i could just tell him this....and that he wouldn't mad... i'm just afraid that if i piss him off too much. i'd be saying good by to anysort of college education.... god i don't ever want to have to depend on him, and i hope that when my sister and i are gone, she can walk away too.

Alright, i think i'm done for tonight... i've got to pack for that beach trip that i'm so looking forward too. At this point, i'm really making it all worse... now he's all i can think about....how am i realated to him?

I think he may be the first person i have a grudge against...

hey Siora,

It's almost time for the SATs... wahhh.... i can't believe how long the new ones are. 9 total sections including an essay. i feel like it would be easier to just jam a pencil through my head... it'd be a lot less painful... i've been taking an SAT prep class, but my issue is not weather i can do the problems, but time. I never finish a section and I still rush through the whole thing, messing me up even more... wahh... i must say that i'm improving, but why? why must we take such a test... i don't understand how we need to learn it.... why does it count for so much when each person is different... i such a such long tests...they scare me and as a result i don't do well... damn i want to cry.

On some brighter news, i've reached the 11th chapter and 228 pages in my book. I can tell right now that it's going to be a bit long, but it's a long story that i've been developing in my head for ages now. I won't be surprised if i can write a second book with as much content, but i'm definately going to have to go back and do some major revisions.

anyway... that's sort of what i'm doing now...on a sunday night, praying that there will be that snow strom....night night

Eladrin

Hey Siora,
okies... i finished chapter 8 with 176 pages... w00t!!! i've started chapter 9 too...

i may or may not be needed for running crew, but i'll find out soon... i odn't know if i want it or not. Part of me wants the honor while the other is saying it isn't worth your time because there's no SSL hours... whatever... i probably won't get teh call so it don't matter...

anyway, my sister is pimpin out her room to make it look like halloween town... i can't go near tho... the paint is to intense... i know this from the paint master, but the paints used on stagae are no where near intense.

g2g sleep laterz

Hey Siora,

Today i got the news that i'm not in running crew, but i odn't feel that bad because a)i want that job at Michael's b) no more SSl hours for it and c) there is only four people on crew due to the small, inmoveable set... i am going to be listed as a paint master tho... that's cool... i spend most of my time in the one painting corner of the crew room mixxing my concotions... i mead paint...

someone asked me if i liked to mix paint and i told him... it't okay, but when i mix, i don't paint... i really haven't painted much in the past two days... that's okay with me tho....

my story... ooo i'm at chapter 8!!! 168 pages.... can't wait till i finish this book so i can start the next one.... totally awsome... i still need to edit it all tho... whatever...

got to go get out of my paint clothes... later