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I don’t want to be like my dad. Most kids want to be like their dads, but I don’t want to become a monster. Just the other day, Momma told me about how he almost destroyed an entire village. Of course, Momma didn’t know that I knew it wasn’t Daddy who did it. It was really the demon that’s inside me now. His name is Shukaku and he takes care of me when my parents aren’t around. He’s kind of like my conscience. The only thing is, he controls my emotions and my actions sometimes, and that makes it hard to do some stuff. When I walk around my village, people only stare at me and the kids don’t want to play with me. Momma says that’s what Daddy’s life was like when he was my age: being hated and rejected and alone. That’s why I don’t want to be like him. I still love him, but I just want to be myself. Neither of them know that Shukaku is still alive and inside of me and he says I shouldn’t let them know, so I haven’t.
I’m six years old and I used to live in the village hidden within the sands, but, now I’m a runway. I snuck out while Daddy was being Kazekage and Momma was guarding the village as an ANBU. I escaped into the Great Desert in search for a wonderful new place where I won’t have to play by myself and hide from the spirit monks. With my ability to move sand at my will with the oversized sand gourd on my back, I was able to travel cross the vast desert before my parents realized I had left. I almost wanted to turn back, but then, I found the village I was looking for. My private teacher, Baki-sensai, once taught me about the different villages in our world. I recognized this one as Konaha, which meant village hidden in the leaves. I hesitated at a distance, afraid of the lack of heat I was about to experience in a few moments. I would miss the sand dunes.
I finally braved the big gated entrance, my tiny body looking weak in between the black-cloaked guards on either side of the doors. “Excuse me,” I croaked. My throat was suddenly dry as I breathed in the rich new air. I cleared it and tried again. “Excuse me!”
Only when the crisp winds picked up, tangling even more of my blood-red hair, did the tall man with a white and red-marked wolf mask turn to me. He looked intimidating. “State your name and business,” he demanded.
“Um, Mikoto, and…I want to live here?” My tone raised the end of my sentence because of my lack of knowledge of what to say. “Please?” I added, just in case.
The other man, also a wolf mask and a little taller than me, spoke next. “Where are you from?” His voice almost sounded curious, although it was supposed to be a serious question. To be wary of thieves, I guessed.
“I’m from Sunagakure, and I ran away,” I stated plainly. I silently wished they wouldn’t report me to Daddy.
“Are you related to Kazekage Sabaku no Gaara?” Big Wolf asked, obviously after noticing the pitch black rings around my eyes from life-long insomnia. Another side effect from Shukaku was never sleeping…ever.
“Yes, sir.” I cringed, ready for any comments. “I’m his daughter, sir.” I turned my gaze to the ground, feeling embarrassed. I didn’t like people staring.
Little Wolf shifted a bit, taking a quick glance at his taller counterpart. Then, he warily walked over to him, frequently checking to see if I was still there. Big Wolf nodded and took off their masks.
With Little Wolf’s face uncovered, it was like I was back under the scorching sun. His face glowed just as bright when he smiled at me. I managed to compose myself before I lost my jaw to the green ground. Despite having never loved anyone but my parents, I couldn’t understand what the feeling was. And having never had strong emotions for anything but sadness and loneliness, from Shukaku, having never smiled or laughed, I felt a sudden urge to act on both. I like this foreign feeling. “I’ll give you the grand tour,” Little Wolf said, snapping me out of my reverie.
“U-u-uh,” I stuttered. I had momentarily forgotten how to speak I was so dazed. It was like staring at the sun too long; like I did. “Just as long as no one knows about my…problem.” I shuffled my sandaled feet, embarrassed again.
Big Wolf placed a hand on the child’s head and assured, “No problem. You’re just a fangirl, right?” He looked down Little Wolf. “It’s the end of our shift, anyway. You go with her while I wait here for the next ANBU.”
I stiffened at the word ANBU. So, they have those here, too. That’ll keep my mind away from home.
Little Wolf’s dark blue hair was swept back as he opened the gate for me. “Come on. Time’s a-wasting.”
I hurried through the gate before it closed on me and gasped. Little Wolf gave me a confused look. “Sorry,” I apologized to him. “This place is much different than the desert.” I carefully noted the beautiful flower shoppe, light and fluffy clouds above us, bustling people with smiles plastered on their faces, and odd clothes. Where were all the bland floor robes? I hoped their leader knew about this. When I turned back to Little Wolf, I faintly noticed that he had discarded his heavy black robe and now wore an off-white T-shirt and khaki shorts. I stole a glance at his toned legs. I shivered.
All through the tour I tried to process what we saw, especially the nice house at the very end. “And this is my house,” he concluded, patting my gourd awkwardly. “So, Mikoto,” he started, rubbing the back of his head in thought. “You don’t have a place to stay tonight, do you? I mean—“
I cut him off short, “Yes, please.” Arg! Why couldn’t I smile just this one time?! The whole no outward emotions thing was really getting on my nerves. “Um, do your parents think it’s ok?” I suddenly felt very nervous.
“Sure, it’s alright with them,” he responded excitedly and reached for my hand. Once he came in contact with my skin, he yelped, clutching his hand in pain, and backed away. The heat still locked in my body wouldn’t be evening out to this atmosphere any time soon; Shukaku wouldn’t allow it.
At the same instant, I ran away as fast as I could in one direction, leaping over anything that stood in my way. My legs will have to carry me however far it takes to get away from hurting anybody. In the blackest part of the night, I hid inside a large, dark forest just behind the village. The fenced gate that surrounded the massive forest had signs that read: CAUTION FOREST OF DEATH--KEEP WELL OUT AND AWAY. This seemed like an ideal place. At least no one would look for me here. Inside were planet-sized ancient trees that bent and twisted around each other, enormous man-eating monster bugs that flew and crawled, and a thick coating of slimy algae that gummed the damp floor. In some spots, it bubbled up as if a swamp of some kind. The dense trees all came together at the top, creating an unwelcoming darkness when you entered, blocking out any outside sun rays from penetrating through.
I camped out under a low-bending tree that formed the shape of a small cave; other trees and vegetation formed the enclosed walls on all sides. This was near the center of the jungle. As long as my sand shield was up to protect me against any intruders, I could be safe through the night. All I had to do was stay awake to keep the shield up and that was easy enough. As I sat in my cozy cave awake, of course, thinking about whether or not I should go back home or stay and apologize to Little Wolf.
My sense of timing was impeccable because when I left the comfort of the forest, I faced the most beautiful scene. Because of the thinness of the clouds, all the colours of the rainbow bounced back in on itself from the sunken sun, creating a new variety of mixed colours that caught my awe and interest. I used to think the desert sunrise against the wonders of the sand dunes was the most amazing scene. Konaha sunrises were now my favourite.
This little opening detail had backfired my previous decision. I had to change my mind and find Little Wolf to say sorry and find out his name. I had forgotten to ask him while we were on the tour yesterday. It would be awkward to ask him once I got to him, but at least once I left I would be able to find him again whenever needed. I have to run deeper into the desert or live inside the Forest of Death as long as it takes to keep from hurting people. I rushed back to his house as fast as I had escaped the other day. Hoping it wasn’t too late, I impolitely banged open the front door and let out a strong hiss. I was so surprised at myself that it took me a minute to figure out why I hissed. My teeth ground together.
My parents stood in the middle of the room in which I intruded. Momma had one arm wrapped round the front of her waist and the other to the side in a fist in a stance of worry. The pained look on her face made my tough belly ache. Next to her was Daddy with his arms crossed. The look on his face made my gut flip over twice. He had an enraged fire in his hollow hazel eyes and his lips crushed into a solid line. Momma now seemed to be worried of what Daddy might do to me as a punishment. I already have plenty of scars from when I’d done something bad. So, I was tough enough not to attack or defend during my punishment and Shukaku seemed to be getting too much fun out of my pain anyway to allow defense.
Yet another ability. There is always a thin, but very strong, layer of transparent sand over my body, sort of like a second stronger skin. But, when Daddy has to hurt me, I have to lower my guard to allow pain access to my fragile nerves. I do it for myself more than him because I know I deserve it for whatever disaster I’d caused. That is why Daddy doesn’t know about Shukaku any more than Momma does. That’s all going to change now, though.
I remember confiding in Little Wolf yesterday. He’d understood my situation better than I thought, comforting me in the process. Even though I couldn’t smile on the outside, I was overjoyed by having someone to talk to without my demon scaring them away, even when he knew! I calmly stepped forward and shut the door behind me, tensed and ready for a strong blow to the head. My eyes squeezed shut. I didn’t want to know when my fate would come.
I suddenly felt caressing arms tightened around my body in a nonviolent way. I was even more afraid than I previously was. Was Momma going to hurt me this time? I hoped it wasn’t too hard for her; it’s about time she let out her anger, too. Squared shoulders slid across my jaw and trembled a bit. Come on, Momma. Get it over with. You’ll feel much better afterwards. I waited a moment longer. No pain. She knew punishment, alright; this was pure torture. Maybe she was slowly inching a fatal blade to my back so I would feel the burning pain when death came.
Then, I heard whimpering. A sob? I cautiously opened my eyes to find my head rested against a familiar neck, shaking from the sobs. It was Daddy. I was in shock so much he felt the vibrations of my shudder and held me tighter in this foreign embrace. Where his head nuzzled into my back it was stained with something cold and wet.
“I looked all over the village for you,” Daddy mumbled. His tone of voice wasn’t hard and serious like it usually was, but quiet and soft. His embrace tightened even more before he let go, put my hands in his, and lent back on his feet at my eye level. His face was stained with a wet smile, making me shudder more visibly. “Why did you run away from home?”
Momma stepped closer to us and knelt down, too. She had a wet frown; she wasn’t happy. “I had the ANBU searching all over, too,” she said, sniffling. “We thought you were gone forever.” She choked on the last word and wiped some wet from streaking down her flushed cheeks.
Judging by my aghast expression, unknown to them that it was my only expression, they exchanged wary glances. Daddy brushed a loose strand of hair and tucked it behind my ear and asked, “What are you feeling right now, Mikoto? Aren’t you ever going to tell us?” Momma leaned in closer as I opened my mouth to speak.
“My I ask myself a question in private first?” They were confused, of course, but nodded. Sighing, I slowly walked to the furthest corner from them, happily noticing Big Wolf and Little Wolf sitting on a sofa. I literally had a conversational argument with myself as far as my parents knew. I asked a question, waited a few seconds, then reasoned with me. I was really talking to Shukaku about whether or not my parents should know about him now. He didn’t mind it much, happy that he could freak them out, just as long as he was allowed to communicate to the outside through my soul with his own voice. That was basically the only thing I had control over, but I allowed it. My part of the deal was having control over my emotions while he wanted to talk. He agreed through, what sounded like, gritted teeth.
I glanced at Little Wolf hopefully and got a good luck thumbs-up and a smile. The really helped. I shuffled back over to my parents, cleared my throat, and simply stated, “Shukaku wants to talk now.” They were both shocked, as expected, and it showed. It was like they had seen a monster…
“Testing, testing, one, two, three!” Shukaku experimented with his new voice. “Is this thing on?” He paused. “So, we meet again, Gaara.” His cackling rung through my body.
Daddy flinched at his name. “Yeah, and I’ve gotten more sleep without you around.”
Shukaku laughed again and I imagined his wiping his eyes in sarcasm. “I’ve been around longer than you think, Kazekage. Ever since your daughter was born…”
I cleared my throat again for his attention. “I didn’t know you go back on your word.”
“Fine, fine,” the demon sighed. “Mikoto ran away because she felt rejected and lonely and wanted a friend, besides me. When she met that small boy over there she felt so overjoyed to stay,” –I rolled my eyes—“and she liked it so much better here since no one treats her like a monster that’s out to kill them all.” The whole time he sounded like he was already bored with the situation.
Daddy’s pained look faced me. “Is this true, Mikoto?”
“Yes, sir,” Well, I wasn’t backing out now. Shukaku gave me a mental rib-nudge. I turned to Little Wolf. “And so long as he’s ok with it, I want to stay in Konoha with him.” With the strong urge to smile, I asked my demon for some help, with which I got a stronger no. Fine. I guess I’ll have to try on my own and break his will.
“Absolutely not!” Daddy scowled fiercely down at me as he stood with his arms crossed. He composed himself into another smile within a second. “We shall move here instead. As a family.” He put his arms around Momma as they both laughed in pure happiness.
I twirled in joy over to Little Wolf and jumped into his awaiting arms with a loud, “Whoo Hoo! Did you hear that?!” He had almost fallen backwards before he set me on my feet with my arms still entwined around his neck. My smile reflected in his glorious ruby eyes. I lessened the smile when I realized our faces were so close to each other…then I started to laugh. I’d never laughed or smile in my entire life! It was so unreal yet so right at the same time. I hugged him again while I laughed and smiled. Shukaku grumbled something about ‘weak human emotions’ and ‘letting me win’.
I didn’t care because now I have a new home, a new life, new friends, and I’m finally happy.
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