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Yes I know this is a Fan-fiction story but I just want to see if I'm a moderately good writer before I move onto the ideas I have stored in my head...Please leave me constructive criticism about the writing. Please and Thank you...and If you get a wild urge please check my other journal entries and tell me what you think of my poems. Domo Arigato!!!

Gaara's train of thought was interrupted by a giant swing and gust of wind from his sister, Temari's enormous fan. He looked back to where she was fighting two rogue sand village ninja. His team had been ordered by the Council of elders that were replacing the kazekage to dispose of rogue shinobi that had been murdering people throughout the village. His older brother Kankouro had chased after one of the shinobi leaving Gaara and Temari to dispatch with the other two. He stood back a fair distance, arms crossed over his chest silently observing the battle.
So far, she seemed to be winning the battle with no apparent effort. "Pitiful." he mused to himself. "Why did the Council send us to take care of these no talented ninja?" As he was lost in thought the third ninja Kankouro had been chasing appeared behind Temari and thrust a kunai into her arm. "AARA!!!"
The smell of blood and Temari's cry for him snapped him out of his reverie. She was on the ground with the three ninja closing in on her. Immediately sand burst forth from the gourd on his back and surged towards the three. "Sabaku Kyuu." He muttered under his breath and the sand rushed to swallow up the three would be attackers. All three of them were bound in sand that would not move an inch unless Gaara willed it. He now noticed that it was two girls and a boy, but this didn't change anything in his mind. He stretched his arms out towards both the girls, "no, ple!-" But Gaara gave them no time to plead for their lives.
"Sabaku Soso!!" were the last words they heard as he clenched his hands into fists and the sand holding the two girls imploded. The only evidence that remained of their bodies were two piles of bloody sand. Now Gaara slowly turned towards the lone guy of the group. He held out his hand ready to clench it into a fist and end his life.
"Gaara wait.." Temari had gotten up and now stood at his side holding her arm. "We were told to at least interrogate one of these traitors." with that she turned to the man, "who do you now work for and why were you killing off villagers?" Not a hint of emotion was in her voice. The man had a defiant look on his face. "Why should I tell you a thing? Im dead already so it doesn't matter what you do."
Slowly the sand started to constrict on the lower half of the imprisoned ninjas legs. The captured man started to scream in agony as every bone from his knee down was slowly being crushed to pieces. Blood started to soak the sand and ooze out of the bottom of the column that held the shinobi in place.
"Tell her what she wants to hear and I'll end it quickly." Gaara said in a low voice. He clearly enjoyed this and then continued, "if not, I don't mind crushing every inch of your body until you slowly die. I can break your bones to where it will take even longer to end your miserable life." At this he smiled and closed his hand only a little more and more crunching and grinding could be heard as another inch of sand visibly contracted. This fresh wave of pain caused the ninja to howl in agony.
"Now", Gaara growled with glee, "tell us.", and as he said this another few inches of the sand slowly contracted and new parts of his femur were pulverized and turned into bits inside of his legs. The ninja screamed in pain again and yelled at Gaara, "how can you possibly find pleasure in this?!?!?!" A chuckle was all that came out.
Temari walked within about a foot of his face, careful to avoid the pool of blood slowly forming around the column of sand that held the ninja. "I'm going to ask once more", she said sounding bored, "are you going to tell us who you work for or not?"
The shinobi gave her a defiant look and spat in her face. That was all the answer she needed. As she walked away she turned to Gaara and said, "he's ALL yours. I'll meet you back at the house." She then grabbed her fan and disappeared.
Gaara turned back towards the ninja and he could see that Gaara had a smile on his face. "Now now, it's time for the real fun to begin." And as Gaara said this the sand slowly tightened on his already broken legs. "The pain is delicious isn't it?" Gaara mused. The pool of blood that sat at the base increased steadily.
"Do you know what it feels like to have your organs ruptured while they're still inside you?" Gaara chuckled, at this remark the condemned ninjas eyes widened and he turned white.
"W..what..what are you going to do?" was all that stammered out of his mouth. The sand pushed hard and crushed into the area of the ninja's body where his liver would be. An audible pop was heard and the condemned man let out a horrific wail.
Next, the sand tightened on his arms all the way up to his shoulder blades. All that could be heard were the popping, breaking, and crunching of bones, the shinobi's blood curdling screams and Gaara laughing at the ninjas pain and suffering. "Too bad all good things must come to an end." The man obviously heard him because he started crying and begging for mercy. Gaara wasn't looking at him but at the pool of blood that had more than tripled in size at the base of the column, which was dark red and soaked in blood.
"I'll make the rest quick and painless for you. Sabaku soso!!" The column of sand holding the ninja imploded with great force and all that was left in its place was a lump of sand. Gaara turned around, as he did the sand turned and followed him flowing back into his gourd and the last of the sand formed into a cork that plugged it up. He didn't give one look back as he headed to his house and there wasn't a single spot of blood to prove there had been a battle there..
its only about a page and half so far but i hope you liked it and tell me what you think!!!

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