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This is just a drabble that I've been meaning to wrie down for the past few days and am only getting to it now due to a really good video on youtube and a lack of posting in the various roleplays that I participate in. Sheesh, that last sentence alone could have been a drabble. razz
This week has been sort of a big week for me, both mundanely and spiritually. Due to a few library books that I snicked from my mom, I've sort of been going on a bit of a spiritual journey thing. Actually, the whole journey has been taking place over a period of years. However, it tends to start, then stop, then start again. It's been a tedious cycle. Part of it has to do that I'm pretty young and the journey started when I was even younger. I still have yet to put myself through secure routines, so I have trouble keeping promises to myself. It's something that I've been working on.
For instance, one of the books that I snagged from my mom was a book called The Dance of the Dissident Daughter, a book about a Christian Author's discovery of the feminine. This woman lived in a very patriarchal society, one that had pushed her down over the course of many years into many roles. The book tells of how she breaks free from that and her journey and discovery of how the feminine can be divine too.
At first, while I was reading this, I had negative feelings towards the patriarchy. I was leaning towards Matriarchy for All, and how patriarchaic institutions should be abolished. However, it occured to me that before patriarchy, there was matriarchy, and the men back then must not have liked it too much. Both matriarchy and patriarchy are unfair. I talked to my mom about it, and I asked her what it would be called when there was neither patriarchy or matriarchy. My mom said that would be a true democracy, not the crap the U.S and many other countries utilize today. Ok, democracy has worked very well for the past hundreds of years, I won't deny this. However, the U.S democracy has still been heavily influenced by Patriarchy. It has not been a true democracy. Thankfully, it is slowly but surely working to become a true dmocracy. The fact that Hillary Clinton was able to compete to become the Democratic candidate, and the fact that Barack Obama is the democratic candidate is proof of this. Slowly but surely, people are becoming more accepting to the idea that women and people of other races are equal to them. Equal enough perhaps to be capable of leading them.

So after I read the book, I started nosing around my mom's John Edward collection of CDs. In particular, I listened to the one involving Spirit Guides and Angels. I do, in fact, believe in these entities, though not as a part of any formal religion. I have done things to meet my own spirit guide/s, the main one being a tall black-haired woman named Marya. Seriously, she is very tall. I don't know many female people who are at least a head taller than I am. It might just be where I live though.... I dunno. There are two other spirit guides of mine that I am aware of. Sam, a very tan man with red-blonde-light brown hair that is bouncy. He looks a bit like Leo from Charmed. The other guide is a little girl with long blonde hair that dresses in a very goth-loli style named Alice. She kind of looks like a darker verion of Alice from the Alice in Wonderland movie.
But on this particular CD, there was an exercise in which the person would meet their spirit guide and be able to ask them questions. One of the things I asked Marya was her role in my life. I got the most frustrating answer. it wasd the typical "It isn't time for you to know that yet." She also said I need to clean up my life first, which is true. The messiness of my lifestyle is one of the main interruptions in my spiritual journey. This happened the night before my mom announced that I would have my first dentist appointment at my new dentist. That would be my que to start cleaning, ne? it also happened before I discovered that a colony of ants had snuck their way into my (basement) room, which means I need to clean that. Not really looking forward to that.

Oh well. That's all I can think of now, so Imma end this post. Ja ne!