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Ohio. That’s Japanese for “Good Morning”. Which makes sense because I am writing this at the buttcrack of dawn. But ya know what? I’m not the least bit tired. That’s right, I am definitely a morning person. That reminds me of an amusing anecdote of my youth, but I won’t go into that now. Let’s move onto the MEAT of the subject.
I had a couple of dreams last night. Some of them were good, and some of them were… well, good. I didn’t have one bad dream last night. They were all blue skies and happy puppies and rainbows and unicorns and all sorts of faggoty crap. Isn’t that nice? ^_^
But anyway, I dawdle. Let’s get down to brass tax. This first dream was set in an episode of the cartoon show Dexter’s Laboratory. I used to love watching that show when I was a little kid. It always made me laugh. Remember that episode where Dexter ate that huge bean burrito and at the end of the episode he let loose a rip so big that it destroyed the TV? Awesome. Or what about the episode where Dexter and his family went to Japan and they had a huge giant robot fight with a Godzilla-like monster? Pure concentrated awesome. Ah, those were the days. Those were the days when we had great cartoons like Tiny Toons and Rocco’s Modern Life and Animaniacs. Not like this newfangled crap we have today. Danny Phantom? Ben 10? ******** SPONGEBOB? Where is the originality? Where’s the humor? Where are the good jokes? My grandmother could come up funnier and more original stuff than that. AND SHE IS ******** BLIND. She can’t even draw, let alone pick up a pencil, BECAUSE SHE CAN’T EVEN SEE. Wow. I’m gonna go to hell for that. I’m Sorry, Grandma. crying
Anyway, when all is said and done, Dexter’s Lab was a pretty decent cartoon. It was all about a little kid who does all kinds of crazy experiments in his secret lab in his bedroom. He did all sorts of crazy stuff. And he did a crazy thing in my dream. In my dream, he found a flea. But this flea wasn’t just any flea. And it wasn’t Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers either. Boy, I wish. No sir, this was a special flea. A Super Flea, if you will. That is, he was a flea, and a superhero. Not to be confused with Super Fly, the 1972 blaxploitation film, of course.
But anyway, this Super Flea was dressed in a similar manner to “Atom Ant” or “George Jetson”. And Dexter found him. I think his name was Poops McMario. Well, that’s a funny little name for a superhero flea, isn’t it, Jack? Hey, don’t look at me. I didn’t have anything to do with it. Wait… yes I did. XD
Anyway, this Super Flea got to talking with Dexter about stuff. I can’t remember what stuff exactly, but I remember at one point McMario said: “No! You don’t understand! I’m a Mario! I’m never wrong!” well, I don’t see how being named Mario has any relevance to being right all the time. Maybe the Marios are just smart like that.
Well, Dexter didn’t seem to agree with the fact that all Marios are right, so he brought in a special friend. It was a giant wormy insect thing. He was fat and disgusting, like an overly gluttonous mob boss. He brought out a slug with a light in his stomach. This was the Super Flea’s weakness. The Super Flea tried to resist it by saying “Come on, Poops! You can do it, Poops! You’ve got to concentrate, Poops! Don’t look into the light, Poops!” and etcetera. Now, he was saying all this right out loud for everyone to hear. I have to be honest with you, if you saw someone talking to himself out loud without one of those ear-phones, what would you do? But of course, I go to a school where we have kids pouring into our doors who do that regularly like clockwork, so I’m pretty much used to it. Yep, we have tons of nutjobs at my school. Maybe I should show you around sometime. Wait… on second thought, no.
Anyway, the Insect Don brought out the flashing slug, which started flashing. This seemed to put a hypnotic spell on the Super Flea. The slug led the Super Flea closer and closer to the Insect Don’s wide open mouth. The slug was making no attempt to stop, because he was leading the way to the Don’s mouth. Soon, he and the Super Flea were in the Don’s mouth and down his throat and in his stomach. Well, that was pretty stupid.
Suddenly, something strange happened. It was impossible, but it happened anyway. The Insect Don barfed up tons and tons and tons of anthropomorphic ferrets. It was gross to watch him throw them up, and what was even grosser, they were pretty darn ugly. Usually, furry critters are cute and cuddly and they make you want to hold them and snuggle with them and stroke their head. These ones made you cringe. They were pretty ugly. And that’s not even the worst part. The worst part is, they started doing a stripper dance. That was creepy. I mean, how much creepier can you get than ugly Furry Ferrets doing striptease. It’s the epitome of fail. They were also singing a song that was called “Clean up the Ferrets”. And it was kinda catchy, which makes it even worse.
Well, that’s about all the dreamy stuff I have for today. Remember, John Myers Kelley a.k.a OTAKUVEANGANCE5290 dreamt these dreams especially for you and he loves them very much. Ciao. X3