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A Day(s) In the Life of the Foxor Take one foxor daily after eating. For your health.


Foxor
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BEST. GUN. EVER.
So while at work doing a lot of nothing as I like to do these days I was reading this Game Pro Magazine and towards the back of the issue there was an ad for GameFly.com (the internet-based company that rents out games via the mail). In this ad was a list. The title of the list was "BEST. WEAPONS. EVER." The list was as follows:
GameFly Ad
5. ENERGY SWORD (Halo Series) - The perfect melee weapon. Pwned.

4. RCP90 (007 Golden Eye) - Your roommate remembers it.

3. B.F.G. (DOOM Series) - Annihilate everyone on the screen in one shot.

2. RED TURTLE SHELL (Mario Kart Series) - Tracking rocket-shell that knocks out any target.

1. GRAVITY GUN (Half Life 2) - Best. Gun. Ever. Where anything can be used as ammo: a table, a shelf, a car or another human. LEET.
When I read that list I was in full agreement, but it seemed like such a small list. I wanted to give credit to all the guns and weapons that have made an impression on me in all the games I've played. So here's the unofficial catalogue of the world's most feared and respected weapons in the videogame universe:


14 WEAPONS YOU NEVER WANT TO BE ON THE RECEIVING END OF

NUKE (Turok Series) - I can't think of a gun that when shot generated more shockwaves than this "some assembly required" gun. In Turok 2 it first flash burns everything within 100 feet of detonation like what happened in Sodom and Gommorah. Too bad you only get to use it once in Turok Evolution.

[EARTH]SHAKER MISSILE (Descent 2) - While not a gun, as far as weapons go this one deserves mention. This pocket-sized nuclear missle has so much death riding in its warhead that it makes a special effort to get away from you before detonating, kicking back your ship when you fire it. This is because no matter where you are when one's fired, you'll know it's detonated because the entire map shakes around like a James Bond martini and the power flickers off and on. Not only does the initial blast clear out a room of all light- to medium-armored opponents, but will finish the job with heavily armored bots with the MIRV(Multiple Independant Remote Vehicle)s that are released in the detonation and track down survivors with Mega-Missle-sized warheads of their own. Seriously...overkill.

DEVASTATOR (Duke Nukem PC, Duke Nukem Total Meltdown) - Kudos to whoever came up with this one. As if a machine gun wasn't bad enough, someone had the bright idea to have a dual SMG-type weapon firing not bullets but dart-sized rockets. Basically shreds apart anything you shoot within seconds. If Duke Nukem had a sandbox-type world this would be useful in leveling buildings.

ALIEN WEAPON (DOOM 64) - Not a lot was told about this weapon, but if you were able to find all 3 secret levels and the pentagrams within them then you were rewarded with the most badass beam weapon to date in FPS games. With each pentagram the weapon would shoot faster and with increasing beams until it got to the point where it was faster at clearing rooms than the fabled B.F.G. 9000. I wish id would have kept the weapon in the franchise.

STREET SWEEPER (Quake 2, WoD mod) - Many would say that the Cataclysm device was the best weapon in this Quake 2 mod, but it was difficult to use without killing yourself in the process. Hence I choose the Street Sweeper. With Quad Damage engaged this Gattling-Shotgun would liquify the hardiest of bad guys, and made killing bosses a process that took seconds. Arguably the most fearsome weapon in FPS history.

GAUSS CANNON (Descent 2) - This weapon is very memorable not just for its killing power but for the sound it makes. It fires so many rounds at once that it sounds like a continuous explosion and the recoil would roll your ship backwards. I remember my dad waking me up in the morning when using the weapon (from two rooms away).

CATACLYSM DEVICE (Quake 2, WoD mod) - As mentioned earlier, this is definately a weapon you don't want to find yourself running from. If by some chance you manage to run away from this world destroyer then consider yourself lucky. There's so much punch when this thing detonates that when you get caught up in the shockwave you'll swear it strips off godmode. Best launched from the grenade launcher with the RPG setting (giving yourself enough distance to be safe from the 1000-foot blast radius). Also makes for a nasty laser tripmine.

B.F.G. 9000/10K (DOOM/Quake Series) - If you see or hear this gun fired you're already dead. There's no running away from this one.

RAILGUN (Quake 2, 3, 4) - The ultimate sniper weapon. Easily identified by it's spiral vapor trail, seeing this weapon fired is an instant cue to duck and cover. Those that don't heed the visual warning typically find themselves headless. With unwavering accuracy and instantaneous travel time it's no wonder why the US Navy wants a version of their own.

EXPLOSIVE SHOTGUN SHELLS (Duke Nukem 64) - In multiplayer mode the shotgun (when used with these firey shells) became the one weapon you would s**t yourself running from. Nothing was a piss-inducing as seeing a fireball eurupt in front of you from out of nowhere while running down a corridor in maps such as "The Stadium." In the hands of an accurate opponent these shells would dominate the game.

FARSIGHT (Perfect Dark) - Any sniping weapon is bad enough to deal with, but when you can be seen and shot at from behind several walls the game becomes something else entriely. This weapon was disabled from multiplayer in Perfect Dark more times than any other weapon in any other game.

HELIX CANNON (Descent 2) - This direct energy weapon would fire a cascade of 5 shots of plasma in a rotating pattern about 6 times per second. At close range it would vaporize all but the toughest targets in seconds. Not to be taken lightly.

LBX20 (MechWarrior Seires) - Imagine a shotgun the size of a small car. Now imagine a shotgun shell the size of a large dog. Now imagine shotgun pellets the size of baseballs. I think you get the picture...

CHAIN/GATTLING/MINIGUN (Damn Near Every FPS and Action Game) - Last but not least is the legendary tool of mass destruction made popular by the Terminator. Eating away at ammunition like the war on terrorism eats up money, this badass all-time favorite (right along with the shotgun) has killed more people than the bubonic lague. When the minigun finds its way into the hands of an able user it basically presents a shield of bullets to protect its operator and can bore a hole through most things. If you don't get turned on by the sound of rotating/ratcheting barrels then something's wrong with you.

If you think there's something missing from this list then let me know - I'd like to see what you think is the most terrifying weapon in a videogame.





 
 
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