When the Devil is too busy,
And Death's a bit too much,
They call on me by name you see,
For my special touch.
To the Gentlemen I'm Miss Fortune,
To the Ladies I'm Sir Prize,
But call me by any name
Any way it's all the same.
I'm the fly in your soup,
I'm the pebble in your shoe,
I'm the demon in your bed,
I'm a bump on every head.
I'm the peel on which you slip,
I'm a pin in every hip,
I'm the thorn in your side,
Makes you wriggle and writhe.
And it's so easy when you're evil,
This is the life, you see,
The Devil tips his hat to me.
I do it all because I'm evil,
And I do it all for free.
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need.
While there's children to make sad,
While there's candy to be had,
while there's pockets left to pick,
While there's grannies left to trip down the stairs
I'll be there, I'll be waiting 'round the corner,
It's a game. I'm glad I'm in it,
'Cause there's one born every minute.
And it's so easy when you're evil,
This is the life, you see,
The Devil tips his hat to me.
I do it all because I'm evil,
And I do it all for free.
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need.
I pledge my allegiance, to all things dark
And I promise on my damned soul
To do as I am told, Lord Beelzebub
Has never seen a soldier quite like me.
Not only does his job, but does it happily.
I'm the fear that keeps you awake,
I'm the shadows on the wall,
I'm the monsters they become,
I'm the nightmare in your skull.
I'm a dagger in your back,
An extra turn upon the rack,
I'm the quivering of your heart,
A stabbing pain, a sudden start.
And it's so easy when you're evil,
This is the life, you see,
The Devil tips his hat to me.
I do it all because I'm evil,
And I do it all for free.
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need.
And I do it all for free,
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need.
And I do it all for free,
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need.
It gets so lonely being evil.
What I'd do to see a smile,
Even for a little while.
And no one loves you when you're evil.
I'm lying through my teeth!
Your tears are all the company I need.
And Death's a bit too much,
They call on me by name you see,
For my special touch.
To the Gentlemen I'm Miss Fortune,
To the Ladies I'm Sir Prize,
But call me by any name
Any way it's all the same.
I'm the fly in your soup,
I'm the pebble in your shoe,
I'm the demon in your bed,
I'm a bump on every head.
I'm the peel on which you slip,
I'm a pin in every hip,
I'm the thorn in your side,
Makes you wriggle and writhe.
And it's so easy when you're evil,
This is the life, you see,
The Devil tips his hat to me.
I do it all because I'm evil,
And I do it all for free.
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need.
While there's children to make sad,
While there's candy to be had,
while there's pockets left to pick,
While there's grannies left to trip down the stairs
I'll be there, I'll be waiting 'round the corner,
It's a game. I'm glad I'm in it,
'Cause there's one born every minute.
And it's so easy when you're evil,
This is the life, you see,
The Devil tips his hat to me.
I do it all because I'm evil,
And I do it all for free.
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need.
I pledge my allegiance, to all things dark
And I promise on my damned soul
To do as I am told, Lord Beelzebub
Has never seen a soldier quite like me.
Not only does his job, but does it happily.
I'm the fear that keeps you awake,
I'm the shadows on the wall,
I'm the monsters they become,
I'm the nightmare in your skull.
I'm a dagger in your back,
An extra turn upon the rack,
I'm the quivering of your heart,
A stabbing pain, a sudden start.
And it's so easy when you're evil,
This is the life, you see,
The Devil tips his hat to me.
I do it all because I'm evil,
And I do it all for free.
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need.
And I do it all for free,
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need.
And I do it all for free,
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need.
It gets so lonely being evil.
What I'd do to see a smile,
Even for a little while.
And no one loves you when you're evil.
I'm lying through my teeth!
Your tears are all the company I need.
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