The 'me' box
In the real* world, I am not a mysterious, masked figure shrouded with glittering mists and steam**. Obviously. That would just be weird***. Which I am not. At all. No, nothing weird here. Yes sir, everything is perfectly normal****. Some circles may know me as a small, cat-sized dragon with purple scales. They may be correct. They may be wrong. We tell no one.This box is subject to change without any warning whatsoever. Unpredictability makes life interesting. It is also liable to stay the same for a long periods of time, becoming increasingly inaccurate as time****** goes by*******.
*What is reality? Can it be seen? heard? eaten? prodded with a stick? Are there, in fact, higher realities than this one? Does this footnote consist entirely of questions? Does it have any relevance to the main text? We do not know.
**Oh, wait. I'm not that in the online world, either. *sigh* I really need to update this...
***And heavy. Gold is dense stuff. Can you imagine trying to swim with twenty-odd pounds of metal sticking out of your head? And airport security would be a nightmare.
****But only for given values of normal. Specifically the solutions to the equation Normal=sin(Weirdness^2) "Cultural Norm"/tan(Incomprehensible Human Ability to overlook the blatantly bizarre, provided it does not spontaneously turn into a chicken*****)
*****Not that there's anything wrong with chickens, mind. Especially not fire-breathing ones. Not that we would be involved in experimental breeding of fire-breathing chickens................
******As opposed to thyme, which is an herbaceous plant used as a seasoning in many dishes.
*******This is called "stagnation", and has something to do with swamps********.
********I've always liked swamps. Such...interesting things live there...

Comments
View All Comments
*snaps fingers under nose* Gimme my soul back you-you-!!
PLATYPUS FOOT SCRUBBER!!!
I l-O-V-E him, he's my absolute favorite poet. Apparently he was quite an interesting and rather odd fellow, as his biography has informed me.
And Vetinari and Vimes, of course <3