About

Okay, I love the website fanfiction.net and i usually check out the profiles when i'm there. This is some stuff from a writer called Lucky Naruto08, enjoy. (I'm not sure if Lucky Naruto 08 came up everything so... yeah)
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Female Comebacks (funny!)

Man: Have I seen you someplace before?

Woman: Yes thats why I don't go there anymore

Man: Is this seat empty?

Woman: Yes and this one will be if you sitdown

Man: Your place or mine?

Woman: Both. You go to yours and I go to mines.

Man: Hey baby, whats your sign?

Woman: Do not enter

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you

Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: Where have you been all my life?

Woman: Hiding from you

Man: If I could see you naked I'd die happy

Woman: If I saw you naked I'd die laughing

Man: So what do you do for a living?

Woman: I'm a female impersonator

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?

Woman: Unfertilized

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u next to i

Woman: Really? I'd put f and u together.
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Girls Don't realize these things;

I'm sorry
that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That I cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'
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A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.
The white man said, "Coloured people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:
"When I was born I was black,"
"When I grew up I was black,"
"When I'm sick I'm black,"
"When I go in the sun I'm black,"
"When I'm cold I'm black,"
"When I die I'll be black."
"But you sir..."
"When you're born you're pink,"
"When you grow up you're white,"
"When you're sick, you're green,"
"When you go in the sun you turn red,"
"When you're cold you turn blue,"
"And when you die you turn purple."
"And yet you have the nerve to call me coloured"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Copy this onto your site and help stop racism!
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If you have ever said that an anime character is sexy and you love them and you mean it, copy and paste this into your profile

Paste this in your profile if you're one of the many teenagers that never smoked
Too many people are on crack. If you're not, then add this to your bio
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Hi, my name is Kazu.

I like Writing and I like Athletics.

I am running down the road

I suddenly tripped over.

I come home with a scratch on my knee.

My mummy begins to worry.

I tell her I am fine.

She sighs and says ok.

I am at school.

When suddenly I fall and hit a tree.

I am sent to the sickbay.

Then I am sent home.

Mummy takes me to the doctors.

The doctors tell mummy something.

Mummy starts to cry.

I tell her it's ok.

I'm not going to die.

She tells me I am starting.

Starting to be slower.

I don't know what it means.

But I have become sick.

I tell mummy it's ok.

I will become better.

Mummy starts to cry.

Do I have cancer?

Mummy says no.

Then what do I suppose.

As a year had past.

I struggle to walk.

My speech is getting slower.

It's hard for me to talk.

My friends like to help me.

My classmates like to run.

But I have to sit down.

And watch them have fun.

Then one day my teacher.

Comes to see mummy.

Daddy comes out.

And starts to get all snotty.

The teacher tells my parents.

I can no longer go to school.

My motion is too slow.

I ask the teacher slowly.

I am sorry I am useless.

I start to cry and beg her.

I want to go to school.

The teacher gives a smile.

And tells me she is sorry.

The school cant really help me.

The words were so cruel.

The day I had to leave.

My friends and classmates cried.

The boys upon the windows.

Wave to me goodbye.

I smile and sit in the car.

I am taken to a school.

A school with special people.

Just like me and you.

I start to have some fun.

I made a lot of friends.

As many years passed again.

I talk too slow to understand.

I cannot run anymore.

And I struggle to even stand.

I cannot write in my diary.

My motion is too slow.

Then one day I am sent.

To the hospital again.

Now many years have passed.

I lie in a warm bed.

I cannot move my body.

I cannot move again.

I talk very slowly.

I cannot move my head.

My mummy sits there crying.

My daddy looks depressed.

I ask my mummy sadly.

Am I going to die.

My mother holds my hand.

Yells and starts to cry.

A few more years later.

I have to shut my eyes.

I cannot talk or move.

I seem to have died.

Copy and Paste this story about Kazu who was diagnosed with a rare uncurable disease, Spinocerebellar Degeneration, in your profile. This disease causes a failure of muscle control in their arms and legs, resulting in a lack of balance and coordination or a disturbance of gait. Support and send the message worldwide.
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I have a cat that I found outside in the cold it isn't allowed in the house so I let it sleep in a blanket that I leave out for it. It was abandined by its owner. You can see by the way it's fur is on its neck. There used to be a collar. I have no idea where it came from or who it belonged to. That much doesn't matter. It's new home when I found it was under my patio table where it can be warm because of the cover. I think it's a guy. I have no name for it that I am sure that it is right. It goes by the weirdest name of all, Ralphy Chuck Norris. It makes me cry to see an abandoned animal begging for you to let them into the cold. I can't understand why anyone would want to do that. They could end up killing the animal. ANIMAL ABANDONMENT IS WRONG!!

If you think what I said above is true post it onto your profile. (again, from Lucky Naruto08's profile)
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(from Lear Ranger's profile on fanfiction.net)

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been
with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth
records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing
when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't
always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than
you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing
regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual
harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using
mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student,
only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that
they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It
declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to
administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform
parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband;
churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their
victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar
in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize
that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and
was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife,
Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To
Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized
he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the
majority and do nothing.

RIP We shall remember
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Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "Too small" and "Off its orbit" for a couple scientists likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet, then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!

92 percent of the teenage population would die if Orlando Bloom said that it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. put this in your profile if you're part of the 8 percent that would be laughing your carcass off.

If you have ever pushed a pull door, or vice versa, copy this into your profile.

My best friend is insane. If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile.

if there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

just because we eat animals for food, doesn't mean we can cut them up for clothing! If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, ECT, copy this onto your profile.
If it's not faux, I'm not for it.

92 percent of the teen population would be dead if Abercrombie and Fitch or Hollister said it wasn't cool to breath anymore. Repost if your one if the 8 percent who would be laughing your butt off.

If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear beating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile!

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that Sasuke from Naruto completely has to have the nick-name 'Chicken Butt Hair Dude', copy this to your profile while laughing your a** off.

If you sometimes talk to yourself copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you think that I'm making you think too much, copy this to your profile.

If you think that life without computers is useless, copy this to your profile.