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Ch0colate-flavored-ramen Report | 08/07/2010 8:29 pm

cool avi

1000_BC Report | 06/14/2010 7:14 pm

MAKE SURE TO READ THE WHOLE THING!








"Hello Principal Diamond, faculty, teachers, students, parents, grandparents, my girlfriend Sara who is in college, my cousin Sarah who is not my girlfriend and has an H in her name, our school janitor Boris, and also, to my favorite part of our school, hello vending machines. I will miss getting Starbursts from you. 


My name is Alex Simpson and this is a graduation speech. I’m giving a graduation speech because we’re graduating. This is nice, right? I love giving graduation speeches. I wish I’d done this more in high school. Right now, you’re probably wondering why I was chosen to give the graduation speech. It’s not because I am the valedictorian. It’s not because I am abnormally good-looking, although, as you can see, I certainly am. It’s because my father’s company gave a large donation to the school. This speech is sponsored by your local Simpson’s Toyota dealer. Come on down and get your hands on some recently recalled vehicles with 0% APR financing. Ask for Alexander Simpson Senior.








So, I’ve been told that graduation is a time for inspiration and reflection. I think reflection is difficult because it requires us to think.





Thinking is hard. This is a nugget of wisdom I want you to take away and remember forever. My dad told me that in order to make a speech to be effective, you have to repeat things more than once, so again, let me say, thinking is hard.





That’s one of the reasons I’m glad to be graduating from Mount Pleasant High School. I won’t have to think all that much, because when I go to college, I plan on having my father make donations there too. No more reflection for me. The only kind of reflection I like is the one I see the mirror. You like it too, right?





Even though I didn’t want to do that much thinking, I wanted everyone in the Class of 2010 to feel like this speech was really one of the best speeches they’ve ever heard, right on par with the Gettysburg address, the “ I Have a Dream Speech,” or my personal favorite, “The Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television.” That’s some life-changing stuff, right? Right, people?





Barack Obama is a very good speaker. He gives great speeches too. That’s why we are talking about him. I like him because he’s good at basketball and because yes, I do in fact have a crush on Sasha. One thing Barack does in his speeches is repeat phrases. Which I did before too, remember? He also says, yes we can.





So that is what I am saying to you, Class of 2010. Yes we can. Yes we can graduate school. Yes we can get accepted into colleges because our dads are powerful businessmen. Yes we can now forget the elements in the periodic tables. Yes we can live in dorms and hang up posters to make people think we are interesting and smart. Yes we can forget how to forge our doctor’s signatures to get out of gym. Yes we can flunk Spanish and still graduate. Yes we can enjoy our summers, and if you’re me or one of my three friends, you can enjoy the summer at my lake house sipping on virgin daiquiris, but pretending to be drunk.





That part of the speech was called the “Yes We Can Reprise.” Now is the part of the speech where I ask: Does anybody have a sandwich?





In the event that no one stands up to offer me a sandwich, I have alerted my friend Daniel to stand up and bring me some Subway I purchased this morning. Though it is a few hours old and a bit soggy, I still want Danny to bring it to me. Danny?





This is the part of the speech where I take a bite of the sandwich. I was going to say something about how Mount Pleasant High School is kind of like a sandwich. We too are made up of a lot of different ingredients—athletes, gangsters, people who read. Together, we make up one really tasty thing. Also, our school cafeteria has awesome pokie sticks and Subway has really good bread, so in my mind that’s similar too. I was going to say more, but I've decided I want to end early

Ch0colate-flavored-ramen Report | 03/18/2010 8:56 pm

idk....im really tired right now, not tired-tired,
but just tired of all this, shool, crushes,...... life!

Im gonna get some ramen, my mom just bought a new supplie and theres nothing anyone can do to get me off that stuff so I f they try, tell em they can suk it!

ohhh I forgot to tell you I got Fable II for xbox 360 and Assassins Creed 2.

I beat fable to and it took me like 50 hours and I only did the main quests and no side quests and I didnt have any legendary weapons.
but Im starting over cause I really gottat get that Daichi Blade.

ohhh Fable 3 is coming out this year.
You dont start of as a kid, you start off as a rebell and you try to overthrow this dude or king, I think.

and If you have a weapon and you use it to kill bandits only for example, the weapon will transform into a special weapon for killing that certain creature.
but you weapon can only transform once. thats all I know so far, my friend has the game informer and hes gonna let me borrow it

Ch0colate-flavored-ramen Report | 02/25/2010 4:42 pm

Love struck?

and what do you mean "she just seems... dunno"

shes not mean, infact she tries to talk to me more than I talk to her.

Ch0colate-flavored-ramen Report | 02/23/2010 5:45 pm

we were playing truth or dare and I was the 1st one to say truth, so she asked me if I like any one at the school.
It was her, and I couldnt lie to her even though I tried. so it was a friday and I told her I'd tell her on monday.
I told her and she said "really?..... uhm, Im flattered." and thats pretty mch it.
for a split second when I told her, the world was all as it should be and it felt good, but then she said that
and I didnt know how to react, I couldnt tell whether it was good or bad, I froze in thought and I still think about
her reply till this veryday.

She can be mean sometimes but its funny.

I dont know whether I should like her or not, but yet I do.
She tries to talk to me but we both know in our heads that if we make eye contact things will get wierd.
But I dont think she's the problem, I think its me.

Ch0colate-flavored-ramen Report | 02/22/2010 3:28 pm

Why would you be mad and what did she tell you?

Ch0colate-flavored-ramen Report | 02/20/2010 1:08 pm

So I like this girl right.
I tell her because she kept asking who I liked.
We're still friends but we dont talk that much,
sometimes it looks like she's trying to flirt with me.
and when we went on SpaceMountain in Disneyland,
she sat by me, that was my 1st ride so one of her friends wanted to
sit by me and she's like "what?" Im already sitting with him. ( its a scary ride)
other times it looks like she's avoiding me.

1000_BC Report | 12/28/2009 8:57 pm

warning!


this


is


not


a


joke!


carry


on


reading!


or


you


will


die,


even


if


you


only


looked


at


the


word


warning!








ONCE


THERE


WAS


A


LITTLE


GIRL


CALLED


CLARISSA,


SHE


WAS


10


YEARS


OLD


AND


SHE


LIVED


IN


A


MENTAL


HOSPITAL,


BEACUSE


SHE


KILLED


HER


MUM


AND


DAD.











SHE


GOT


SO


BAD


SHE


STARTED


TO


KILL


ALL


THE


STAFF


IN


THE


HOSPITAL


SO


THE


GOVERMENT


DECIDED


THAT


THE


BEST


IDEA


WAS


TO


GET


RID


OF


HER


SO


THEY


SET


UP


A


SPECIAL


ROOM


TO


KILL


HER,


AS


HUMANE


AS


POSSIBLE


BUT


IT


WENT


RONG


THE


MACHINE


THEY


WERE


USEING


WENT


WRONG.











AND


SHE


WAS


SAT


THERE


IN


AGONY


FOR


HOURS


UNTILL


SHE


FINALLY


DIED.








EVERY


WEEK


ON


THE


DAY


OF


HER


DEATH


SHE


RETURNS


TO THE


PERSON


THAT


READS


THIS


LETTER,


ON


A


MONDAY


NIGHT


AT


12:00


SHE


KREEPS


INTO


YOUR


ROOM


AND


KILLS


YOU,


BUT


SLOWLY


AND


PAINFULLY


SLOWLY


CUTTING


DIFFRENT


PARTS


OF


UR


BODY


THEN


WATCHES


YOU


BLEED


TO


DEATH


IF


YOU


DONT


SEND


THIS


TO


20


PEOPLE


BY


MIDNIGHT


SHELL


BE


COMEING


TO KILL


YOU!


SEND


IT


SO


SHE


HAS


ANOTHER


LOAD


OF


PEOPLE


TO


GET


AND


FORGETS


ABOUT


YOU


DONT


BELVE ME


HEY?





EXAMPLE


1:


JENNY


DIDNT BELIVE THIS AND DELETED IT WITHOUT EVEN READING THE WHOLE THING! A FEW DAYS LATER ON THE MONDAY NIGHT SHE WAS WOKEN UP BYE LOUDE FOOTSTEPS AND HEAVY BREETHING THERE WAS CLARISSA STANDING THERE WITH A HUGE KNIFE AND WELL JENNY IS HISTORY NOW.











EXAMPLE


2:


TOM


ONLY SENT IT TO 5 PEOPLE CUZ HE THOUGHT HED BE SAFE AND IT WAS PROBLY JUST A JOKE BUT OH HOW RONG WAS HE! HE DIED THE NEXT NIGHT ON MONDAY AND ILL TELL YA NOW IT WASNT PRETTY(JUST CUZ HE SENT FIVE HE DIDNT COMPLETE THE TASK)





EXAMPLE


3:


JOEANNA


SENT IT TO 19 PEOPLE SHE THOUGHT IT WAS CLOSE ENOUGH AND WOULD DO BUT SHE WAS WRONG SHE DIED

Ch0colate-flavored-ramen Report | 10/11/2009 3:06 pm

lol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1TerOxIqvk

1000_BC Report | 10/10/2009 12:46 pm

O_o