11.26.11

Such a beautiful date, etched with memories that feel like both a lifetime ago and just yesterday. You had this way about you—so effortlessly charming, yet so inviting—that I couldn’t help but be drawn to you. I still remember those long conversations, the way we’d laugh together like the rest of the world didn’t exist.

We’d message each other from school trips, during work breaks—every little moment seemed like it belonged to us. Back then, love and happiness felt so infinite, like they’d never run out. I’d wake up every day excited just to talk to you. I couldn’t help but tell my friends about you, bragging like I’d found something truly rare. And every time your name lit up my phone, it was as if the entire day had been made in that single moment.

In those moments our love was tested—by family, distance, and by others who, knowingly or not, did everything they could to pull us apart. But none of it seemed to matter to me at the time. I honestly believed our love could withstand anything.

But if I’m being honest, it started to take its toll. The constant questions—*Have you met him? Have you talked to him? What does he look like? Is he even real?*—those, on top of the stretches of silence, days and sometimes weeks with no word from you... there were times I found myself praying that you’d show up, even just for a day. I began to doubt. Doubt how much you cared, how much you loved me heck even you in general because i never once got to see you. I think there was a point when I was begging for your attention, though I didn’t realize how much you were quietly doing behind the scenes for us—until it was too late.

Looking back, my biggest regret, the one I can’t shake, is how easily I gave up. I should have trusted you more, trusted in your love. For not doing that, I am so, so sorry.

And then, you found someone else. I won’t lie, I was consumed by jealousy. Jealous that she could love you, be there for you, in ways I couldn't. It hurt, more than I can express, and that’s when I truly understood the weight of what I had lost, and what I would never get back. I got to know her, and I realized how impossible it was to compare. She’s everything I couldn’t be—beautiful, inside and out, and just... incredible. And honestly? You deserve her. You deserve someone like her.

Years later, when my relationship with him began to fall apart, it was because i became someone else. I couldn’t be myself anymore. I had to become this “perfect” version, but deep down, I knew it wasn’t real. It wasn’t healthy. It felt like my price to pay. Like a punishment for everything I couldn’t hold onto.

At the point, i knew what we had was long and i had no right to hold onto hope we'd be together again, let alone i would never do anything to interfere with your relationship...so i decided then and there that id always be supporting you, even if it means taking a step back and being there for you as a friend.

I'll forever cherish the times where I was able to call you mine. thank you for showing me and teaching me what love is. and for being one of the best things that ever happened to me. You will always be one of my bestest friends and that will never change.

리즈가

"만약 인생을 다시 산다면 너를 더 빨리 찾을 겁니다."