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Last Login: 10/12/2013 6:59 pm

Registered: 11/26/2005

Gender: Female

Location: Illinois

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[img:8f23305c26]http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h300/giggler630/blinkies/i202976714_62474_4.gif[/img:8f23305c26]

Who am I and how did I get here?

Ever hear the remark about being a housewife is not difficult? That it's just a breeze. These comments are usually followed up a by comparison of the average housewife to peg bundy.
My favorite are the assumptions that we are uneducated, unmotivated, vapid beings content to spend a life at the beck and call to their husband and children...whatever.

I would like to challenge these people to spend a day going in circles around the house. Now, while going in these circles please be sure to add some obstacles. Two oversized squirrels that pass themselves off as dogs that run underfoot. Dog food scattered on the floor, (try cleaning it up there will always be some peices left over), that cuts into your feet like shards of glass. A toddler, shoes, toys, books, sippy cups, baby gates, brooms and overturned table...the list goes on. Keep in mind that when you give birth to a child, the child takes all of your energy with him and you are dependent on coffee to keep moving, (by the time the coffee is finished, it will be cold).

Nap time, carry 35lbs of wriggling toddler up a flight of stairs and across two baby gates without collapsing.

Next, drive through the pick up line at an elementary school. If you are smart, you leave 45 minutes before school lets out so that you aren't trapped in a never ending line of bad drivers for two hours. Try not to flick off the principal, when they allow two cars to cut in front of you. When your child yells, "move it, morons!" Know that you are indeed preparing your child to be an average driver.

Quick! run down into the basement, dodge boxes chairs and the cat and get meat out of the freezer and get back upstairs before you hear CRASH!!!!! "I DIDN'T DO IT!!!!"

Pick up toys. Watch kids immediately dump out toys, pick up toys again... this could go on for hours.

Ask child to pick up toys...Then supervise. If they think cleaning their room is shoving stuff under the bed, don't be surprised to find banana peels under the couch.

Try to avoid questions like "what's a museum" any anwer you give will only cause more confusion to the child and to yourself.

Cook dinner and make sure it's done a 6:00 on the dot. Now, toss in a crabby toddler clingling to your legs and a six year old that is playing with the remote, throwing things, talking back, whining, refusing to redo homework or do it in the first place, running in and out of the house and talking non-stop.

Just for kicks, invite your 92 year old racist, sexist grandma to live with you.

If you can get through this while smiling, humming and not wanting to kill any children or barney, then you are abnormal and should have your head examined, immediately.

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Suites Birthday Fairy Report | 04/05/2010 10:33 am: Happy Belated Birthday

From the Suites Birthday Fairy
Suites Birthday Fairy Report | 04/03/2009 8:09 am: Happy Birthday

From the Suites Birthday Fairy
Altaloma Report | 12/10/2008 2:42 pm: hey there....
Suites Birthday Fairy Report | 04/03/2008 10:15 am: Happy Birthday

From the Suites Birthday Fairy
DarkchyldeNOLA Report | 09/18/2007 9:03 am: Love the sig.
PhaedraMcSpiffy Report | 08/24/2007 11:00 am: I like your signature.

(You're a feminist stay-at-home-mom? Cool!)
Acquarella Report | 04/26/2007 6:54 am: i guess you've heard a lot of this already, but i love your signature and your femininity (i wouldn't call it feminism).
Velma Touched My Tralala Report | 04/22/2007 7:02 pm: HEY b***h, I MISS YOU! =o
devia aevum Report | 04/08/2007 2:17 pm: I like every bit of your signature.
SageRaventree Report | 04/03/2007 9:35 pm: I love your sig!

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writing.com dumping ground...

just a place to store thoughts since I am w/o a printer