my girlfriend

my sis

mike

meh

people r like slinkies they are really good for nothing but they bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs

next time you are having a bad day think if you are a siamese twin and your brother attached to your shoulder is gay he has a date coming over tonight and you only have 1 a**

every time you masturbate chuck norise kicks a Mexican baby in the face

life is not to arrive at the grave in a well preserved body its to skid in sideways sayin holy s**t what a ride