Details
- Last Login
- 12/15/2007 7:20 pm
- Total Posts
- 730
- Posts Per Day
- 0.11
- Member Since
- 02/26/2007
- Location
- The Cafe down the Street
- Gender
- Female
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About
Hello there...If there is a list of things you MUST know about me, this would be it.
1. Music is My second Home. I only really feel strong emotions through music. Although I may lack happiness, music makes me angry, it makes me sad, it makes me nostalgic, it helps me cope. It always portrays my feelings and I never have to be alone when I have a CD to deafen myself with. For those of you unlucky enough to know me outside the world of pixelated mock-joy, you can understand that music is really the only thing that has kept me alive for all these years.
2. My secondary coping mechanism is a little thing I like to call Literature. When my headphones are off, my nose is buried in a book. If ignorance is bliss, than distraction is heaven. I live my life through the fictional stories of long dead authors and poets, rarely do I read the new stories of "my" generation. I view them all as s**t. Ask me about the last book I have read and I will have already forgotten the main character. Books are like heroin, it is only a temporary fix and I am always needing more.
3. My personal happiness is very low on my list of priorities. If to make my best friend eternally happy, I had to set myself on fire, I would do it in a heartbeat. My friends are so important to me. If you are on my good side, than you have a life-long shoulder to cry on. I am just as nice to my enemies as I am to my friends because I have found that most "enemies" of mine are just people that are scared of me or just don't know. I try not to be hostile to anyone but if you mess with my friends, I will avenge them.
4. I am an actress. I view my life as a beautifully orchestrated play. The last time I smiled, actually, honest to goodness, unabashadly, unmistakably SMILED, was four years ago. For those who know me, I am always "smiling" and that, my friends, is my gift to you. It kills me to act like nothing hurts and that everything really is okay, but at this point, my part in the play of my life has become a reality. I have acted to the point that I have really become my character. I never really notice that I am faking anymore and it only hurts every so often. Treasure it when I actually tell you how I feel. It happens so rarely.
5. I have a tendency to push people away. If I get too close to someone I will make something up to get myself out of the situation I am in. There is so far only ONE person that I haven't/won't push away and that is Bridget. I haven't had a serious relationship because I refuse to let myself be happy. I don't do it on purpose but I have noticed that if I am ever happy, I find a way to ******** it up. I tell myself that I push people away because I am afraid of BEING hurt, but, in truth, I push people away because I am afraid of HURTING someone that means a lot to me. For this reason, I doubt I will ever find true love because I know that I will just ******** it up.
My name is Tiffany Marie and I suffer from Depression, Anxiety and Insomnia.
And I wouldn't have it any other way.
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Journal
.:: Book Of Crazy ::.
Oooh La La?!
Please read my daily rant, diatribe, fustian, harangue, oration, bombast, raving, tirade, rodomontade, vociferation or whatever else you want to call it.
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If I had a chance..
To be really happy...
Would I take it?
I am the girl that hits on 21 and feels GOOD about it.
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